Tuesday, July 25, 2006
DVD Spend-a-Thon - 7/25/06
Here's your cold, wrinkled sack of new DVDs for this week:
Final Destination 3Did you see this movie in the theater? If you did, I have trouble identifying with you. The first movie in the series was unbelievably stupid. The second one, while still pretty dumb, had a few interesting kill scenes, including death by giant log, wire fence, pane of glass and fire escape ladder. I just can't believe that a third go-around would have anything interesting to offer. But whatever, I won't judge you if you liked it. I like mustard on fried eggs. If you waited for DVD on this one, expect several young people to get iced in many mathematically-improbable ways.
Killer extras include a commentary track by the film's creators, a "Choose Their Fate" feature that apparently lets you decide whether the characters will live or die in certain scenes, some deleted scenes, one or more alternate endings, the ten-part documentary "Kill Shot: The Making of FD3", a featurette called "Dead Teenager Movie" which is described as a rundown of horror films concerning the killing of young peoples, the original animated short "It's All Around You" and "Planned Accidents" a look at the making of the rollercoaster.
Chappelle's Show - The Lost EpisodesWhy did Dave Chappelle stop making his highly successful Comedy Central show at what seemed to be the height of its popularity? We may never know the whole truth. Chappelle walked away, turning down a mountain of cash, because he no longer believed in what he was doing. Being selfish, I wish he could've kept up the funny for at least a few more years, but I can't fault the man because he couldn't. So, the throngs of Rick James' bitches clamoring for just a little bit more of the comedy magic they loved for two seasons are left with the scraps that Comedy Central has cobbled together for this DVD. It amounts to a little more than an hour's worth of sketches that may be funny as all hell, but should make you a little sad to think that Chappelle probably didn't ever want you to see them.
Special features include unaired sketches, deleted scenes and bloopers, the "Making of Chappelle's Show" featurette and some audio commentary.
The BenchwarmersIf I wanted to make a horrible baseball comedy, I would put Rob Schneider and David Spade in it and strap them to the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite. Then I would cause them all to explode in a shiny, white cloud of flop sweat. At least it would have a good ending. I have no room in my life for this movie. I have to go to the dentist in the morning. I'd rather have my teeth scraped for an hour than watch this. Who knows (do you?), it may be a terrific movie, but I'm willing to deny myself the opportunity to find out. I've been wrong before, and the next time Schneider or Spade makes a movie, I might be wrong again.
Diarrhea Song-like features include: commentary tracks by (a)director Dennis Dugan and (b)actors David Spade and Jon Heder, deleted scenes, "Mr. October" - behind the scenes with Reggie Jackson (what the hell?), a "Nerds Vs. Bullies" featurette, "Play Ball" - a cast and crew discussion about America's pastime, and "Who's on Deck?" - Howie's greatest moments.
Ask the DustColin Farrell and Salma Hayek star in this Depression-era romantic drama that crept silently through a few cinemas earlier this year and now lands on the little silver disc. Robert Towne directs a tale of ambition and veiled self-loathing that finds Farrell and Hayek engaging in a scorching love affair, even though neither person is who the other is really looking for. What ensues next is...oh screw this.
SALMA HAYEK GETS NEKKID TWICE IN THIS MOVIE! One scene shows her frolicking bare-assed in the ocean for a few minutes. Farrell is there too, rocking out with his cocking out. I mention the latter for posterity's sake, when we have some female readers. Sorry if the nudity report is somehow inappropriate, but you have a choice - you can be captivated by the well-constructed story and its dreary themes, or you can fast-forward straight to the boobs. It's your hard-earned money.
Fully-clothed features include a commentary track by director Robert Towne and cinematographer Caleb Deschanel, "The Making of Ask the Dust" featurette and the theatrical trailer.
Halloween: 25 Years of TerrorHalloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (Divimax Edition)
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (Divimax Edition)
There must be an entire wing (maybe two) at Anchor Bay Entertainment devoted to the production of Evil Dead and Halloween DVDs. I’ll stop the rant right there, since the point has been made too many times. I will say though that the multiple dips of these movies must remain profitable for the studio to keep churning them out, which means we buy them religiously, being the saps that we are. Thankfully, the documentary Halloween: 25 Years of Terror seems to contain mostly new material. Many of the interviews with cast members and celebrity fans of the series were filmed during the 2003 anniversary celebration. All of the movies get the royal treatment with behind-the-scenes footage, scenes from the films and visits to the original locations.
Disc 2 of this release features a plethora of interesting extras, including:
* "Horror's Hallowed Ground" featurette
* "Fans of Halloween" featurette
* Halloween II and Halloween III extended interviews
* Extended celebrity interviews
* Halloween 5 On-Set Footage
* Halloween Convention Montage
* Halloween panel discussion
* Halloween II panel discussion
* Halloween 6 panel discussion
* Ellie Cornell panel discussion
* Dean Cundey panel discussion
* Halloween producers panel discussion
* Halloween location still gallery
* Halloween Convention Behind-The-Scenes gallery
* Original artwork gallery
* Exclusive comic book inspired by the series.
Anchor Bay has also released new Divimax Editions of parts 4 and 5. Even after breaking new ground with the documentary described above, they just couldn’t resist dropping a couple more re-releases on you. Fortunately, the Divimax designation indicates that the movies have been digitally remastered and should look pretty good. I know there are some fans of these two entries in the Michael Myers saga, but I'm not one of them, although Halloween 4 does gets points for returning Michael to the series after the jarring, salty abortion that was Halloween III. 
Parts 4 and 5 introduce some family drama in the form of Michael's young niece. Of course, Michael wants to kill her, which any psychologist will tell you means that Michael really hates himself. But since he apparently can't be killed, suicide is not an option. No wonder he's perpetually homicidal.Kirk-faced features for Halloween 4 include commentary by actors Ellie Cornell and Danielle Harris, a second commentary by writer Alan B. McElroy, the "Halloween 4: Final Cut" making-of featurette and a trailer. Premise-thinning extras for Halloween 5 include commentary by director Dominique Othenin-Girard and actors Harris and Jeffrey Landman, an introduction by stars Harris and Ellie Cornell, the "Inside Halloween 5" featurette, "On The Set of Halloween 5" footage and the theatrical trailer.
Hudson Hawk - 15th Anniversary EditionWhat the hell can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said in some hyperbolic way by critics and laypersons the world over? Well, I can say that I've never seen it, which means that I have no interest in convincing you about it's value one way or the other. You probably already know if you like this movie. You may be celebrating the movie's 15th Anniversary right now. I'm sure Andrew LOVES it. It is interesting in a biographical way that powerhouse Willis made this flop right after The Bonfire of the Vanities, another infamous disaster of a film, and still rebounded to become the juggernaut he is today, or was a while back. Oh well, such is the strangeness of the entertainment industry.
Dirty, thieving supplements inclu...HAVE BEEN STOLEN!
More Spending Opportunities:
Closing Words:
I really recommend Fortress to those who have not seen it. It's a nice little suspense thriller from the 80's starring Rachel Ward as a school teacher in Australia who gets abducted along with her entire class by men in Halloween masks. Ward and the kids must use their survival instincts to escape their captors, and it gets pretty violent in parts. It's a real sleeper from my cable-stunted childhood. Check it out. Also, however good the movie may be, the blurb on the cover of Asphalt Wars proclaiming it to be "In the tradition of The Fast and the Furious" is just plain hilarious. That's a tradition I'd like to see end. Fast.
Read or Post a Comment
Brad likes Hudson Hawk.
Final Destination is terrible. I have to idea why that piece of shit goreporn franchise gets so much love.
People have no fucking taste.
*goes back to watching KRULL*
Don't you say anything bad about my Krully, George. Don't.
Don't worry, Bill. You and I may be the only active members in the "Glaive of the Month" club.
Krull, ah the nostalgia! Is Glaive of the Month still accepting members, I want my commemorative Glaive lapel pin, and complimentary tunic, along with a years worth of rides on flaming hoofed steeds!
-Rob
Anyone who likes Maximum Overdrive is in no position to question Final Destination's fanbase.
He must be talking about one of you guys.
Don't let him lie to you boys...I know for a fact that Bill used to make me watch Maximum Overdrive all the time!!!