Monday, August 14, 2006
Timewarp Review: M Night Shyamalan's M Night Shyamalan (2019)
Directed by: M Night Shyamalan
Written by: M Night Shyamalan
(2019)
One of the pre-eminant film-makers at the beginning of the century, M Night Shyamalan has had a rough few years. M Night Shyamalan’s Shrek 5 ended the series when audiences did not respond well to Shrek’s daughter whispering directly to camera for two hours, nor the climax where the main antagonist, a crippled old mouse, is savagely beaten to death by magic books for thirty minutes. I personally thought M Night Shyamalan’s cameo, as the writer of the magic books, was very organically included, but the audience spoke , the studio balked and M Night Shyamalan had to suffer the indignity of becoming a director for hire.
M Night Shyamalan's Shocker was certainly an original take on Wes Craven’s 1989 classic, and many thought his decision to spend 90 minutes in wordless slow motion following the prisoner’s last meal, walk to the electric chair and last rites brave. He was praised too for his role as the executioner who, after the death, spends 90 minutes driving home, eating dinner and going to bed. Audiences, however, thought the film was ‘shocking’ and the golden boy of modern horror sunk even lower.
The final nail in his coffin came the year after when he helmed the Zucker produced M Night Shyamalan’s Twist Movie, which consisted of M Night Shyamalan sitting on the toilet reading the script to Stuart Little.
After five years of silence from the great director we now finally approaching the release of his latest film, M Night Shyamalan’s M Night Shyamalan.
I was privileged enough to be one of only two online journalists, along with Dave from FilmCunt, invited to the advanced screening of the film a week ago at an undisclosed location. Upon having the hoods taken off, we found ourselves in a beautiful old cinema with the calm, unpresuming figure of M Night Shyamalan himself standing before the screen. In typically humble and understated fashion he only said a few words before the film began:
“You will enjoy this film”
Then the lights went out.
The film begins at sea, just outside Philadelphia. The screen stays entirely black with only the sounds of huge waves, heavy rain hitting metal, high winds and deep, roaring thunder. A lightning flash reveals a speck of a boat lost within the raging storm. The next flash reveals the prow of the boat, tilting wildly with the swells. The next reveals destroyed boxes on the deck, torn rope, and blackened dents in the panelling. The next reveals the captain, Dakota Fanning, descending from the cabin to the crew quarters. There the crew sit huddled in the shadows, starting at every crack and boom.
“Captain,” says one. “Tell us a story.”
The captain gives a rueful smiles and says...
And to say anymore would be to ruin one of the most intellectual, visceral, personal and universal thrillers of the last decade, and violate the terms of the contract I signed before the screening. But to hell with my fingers, some of this needs to be shared.
Let’s just say the boat is not named M Night Shyamalan for no reason, nor is the film being set entirely at night. There are layers to this film that will take a dozen viewings to uncover.
M Night Shyamalan, through the course of this film, strips away the empty plot machinations of most Hollywood fare to show them as the cynical mcguffins they are. Then, even more boldly, he strips away characters to show them as the twitching puppets they can only ever be. Dialogue is shown as contrived grunting that only acts as a barrier to communication. It too is removed. I believe that M Night Shyamalan is not just attempting to tell a good story, but to express the pure and beating heart of Story itself, naked, beautiful and unsullied by the lies and distractions lesser film-makers would clothe it in. The project of this film is nothing less than to move in from the shallow and illusory surface and to seek out the very centre of things.
The repeated motif of all the actors looking directly to camera nodding solemnly as points are made becomes haunting and wildly affecting.
Towards the end, the twist of having no twist is twisted brilliantly here as the ship, stuck in a whirlpool, circles the same point over and over.
And M Night Shyamalan’s cameo? Let’s just say it is heavenly.
And that’s all I can give you. I want to give you more but, seriously, I would ruin it for you. I believe M Night Shyamalan has finally found his perfect story with M Night Shyamalan’s M Night Shyamalan and I recommend you all to seek it out when it opens in selected cities next month.
This review has been approved by the estate of M Night Shyamalan. The writer agrees that it was written without supervision or enforced revisions and that no physical violence was threatened either to the writer or to his family. The estate of M Night Shyamalan reserves the right to threaten physical violence towards the writer and his family. Any publication that uses the name or likeness of M Night Shyamalan shall be henceforth considered the property of M Night Shyamalan. The concept of Story has been copyrighted by the estate of M Night Shyamalan and, as such, any use of narrative, character, dialogue or creepy whispering children shall be considered to have been written by M Night Shyamalan. Reading this sentence constitutes acceptance of the terms of agreement, violation thereof will lead to punishments including, but not limited to, physical violence against the person or the person’s family, between three and five fingers, not including thumbs, one pound of flesh and the eternal damnation of your immortal soul. Your bank account has been charged with the price of two tickets to M Night Shyamalan’s M Night Shyamalan. You were not expecting the twist. You were not expecting the twist. You were not expecting the twist.
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Damn that is funny!
Das ist gut, ya!
You left out 2010's powerful documentary, "Shyamalan on Shyamalan," where the director/writer/actor/producer/caterer/NASCAR-pit-stop-mechanic interviews himself on the power of himself.
Someone MAKE this man shoot a script he didn't write.
Seriously. Make him. I advocate for a combination of Chinese water torture and the threat of exposure to critical opinion.
Apparently 'attack of the show' did M Night Shyamalan's M Night Shyamalan's Diaries by M Night Shyamalan, making me a dirty thief.
what is 'attack of the show'?
A terrible "geek oriented" show that seems to never really know what demographic it's targeting. One of the co-hosts is terribly hott, though.
I wonder if she'll play Mario Kart with me?