Thursday, August 24, 2006
Tits In PG Movies
Life is no fun anymore. The thrill is gone. Now that we're adults, the main reason for watching films - to see what we are not allowed to - has been cruelly taken from us and the world is hollow and grey. Well, we've found a way to get the thrill back: Tits in PG movies.
Needless to say, the following is NSFW.
King Kong: This was before the days of the MPAA and so something of a cheat, but its a classic, it's been played countlessly on saturday afternoon tv and it contains Fay Wray's tit coming out while swimming away from Skull Island. The black and white film-stock lowers the thrill, but the wetness compensates. (Thanks to Hammerhead at www.chud.com for the image. Positive rep for you!)
The Rescuers: The artists at Disney had to do something fun while animating rodents 20 hours a day and, as the chains made masturbation difficult, they put some tits into the background of this half forgotten cartoon.
Return of the Jedi: I know everyone is supposed to have turned heterosexual becuase of Leia's gold bikini, but the pan&scan videos most of us grew up with actually denied us the one genuinely sexy shot - of her sleeping on Jabba's belly - in favour of the muppet on the right hand side of the screen. What could not be denied us, however, is the nip-slip of the green dancing girl just before she is dropped down into the Rancor pit. The boob is green and the nipple possibly obscured by a pastie, but then who is to say what alien nipples look like? Either way, it makes the godawful musical number actually worth watching. Who says Lucas isn't a genius?
And the close up:
Diamonds are Forever: The Bond franchise's opening sequences are infamous cockteasers of naked ladies hiding their bits behind guns and blue filters, but the opening shot of Diamonds are Forever has Bond whipping the bra off a woman and trying to strangle her with it. Sex and violence together as God intended.
And the close up:
Logan's Run: Jenny Agutter was introduced to the movie world in The Railway Children, playing a very nice, plummy-voiced girl with a big hat. She then spent the next twenty years playing very nice, plummy-voiced girls who got their tits out (Walkabout, An American Werewolf in London), giving a generation of sweaty young men a fetish for recieved pronunciation. She even got them out in silly (yes it is) sci-fi movie Logan's Run. I am amazed Bryan Singer turned out gay.
The Outlaw Josey Wales: This is also kind of a cheat as everywhere else in the world gave the rape'n'death filled Josey a restrictive certificate. Not America though. America knew Clint meant it all in good fun and gave it a nice rough and tumble PG rating, ensuring it played on afternoon tv all through the 80's so parents, dismissing it as just another cowboys and indians flick, could let it babysit their kids while they popped valium.
Sheena: Here's the motherlode though. Sheena was the female Tarzan and, what with being one with nature and everything, bathed in the nude. Maybe the monkeys did her boob job.
Read or Post a Comment
I haven't seen it for years, but I have a distinct memory of not one, but two boob shots in Clash Of The Titans. Can anyone confirm or deny?
Yeah...I think you got to see Medusa's bazonga's! Whoo-hoo!
Hott.
I promise to do more. All suggestions and independant research welcome.
I only remember Andromeda's heart-shaped hinder. Were there boobs other than Medusa's?
You get to see the Cracken's penis!
That's "Kraken". If he was a white southerner with four arms, it would be "Cracken".
Whatever. Kiss the Cracken of my ass!
I do apologize, you are right. For a complete definition of my spelling of Cracken, please follow the link below:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cracken
Yeah, Clash of the Titans had tits. Nice ones too, and totally random. It's just some establishing shot of an island and there's this girl walking around with giant bazooms. And then they're gone and we get to spend an hour with Bubo. :(
You must have boob-dar because I dont' remember that!
The original Airplane had a large pair of bouncing breasts in full screen during the chaos when the stewardess asked over the PA system: "By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
The original Airplane had a large pair of bouncing breasts in full screen during the chaos when the stewardess asked over the PA system: "By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"