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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

DVD Review: James Bond Ultimate Collection - Vol. 1

The most successful (longevity-wise, Darth Jerk) franchise re-invents itself again this week with its 21st entry, Casino Royale. A “Year One” style reboot of an increasingly predictable formula was much needed. To commemorate and capitalize, Sony has graciously (re)re-released the entire oeuvre in 4 handsome new sets. In completely random assortments similar to a sampler platter at Benningan’s (Lazenby = fried mushrooms) each volume gives you a nibble of each era. The films gets two discs in thinpaks (handsome, but cheap) with restored video and DTS, while the 2nd disc carries the motherlode of extras.

GOLDFINGER (1964)

The third film in the series became the die from which the majority of the series was cut. Goldfinger is fantastic. Breathlessly paced. And Connery earns his distinction as being the best of the Bonds with his effortless cool. The plot concerns a greedy fatfuck, Goldfinger, trying to break into Fort Knox. Bond is swept along to exotic locales such as Baltimore and is almost castrated by laser. Director Guy Hamilton brought a lot to the series, keeping the action coming while maintaining a light, frothy atmosphere. It’s masterful entertainment.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)

Diamonds Are Forever marks Sean Connery’s first return to Bond after George Lazenby replaced him (and he’d be back again only puffier). It’s essentially Bond in Vegas with Blofeld building a space laser with diamonds. I lost track of the plot on this one. There’s a ton of buildup with diamond smuggling and then James Bond is in in a lunar lander being chased across the Nevada desert? Sausage King Jimmy Dean plays Howard Hughes? Ok.

The series seems to be spinning its wheels here. On the upside, we have a Bond girl called Plenty O’Toole (Natalie Wood's little sister!) and a pair of gymnast/interpretative dancers/henchwomen called Bambi and Thumper that fuck James Bond up. We’re also treated to the murderous stylings of Mr. Wint (OMG, that’s Crispin Glover's dad!) and Mr. Kidd, a couple of gay assassins (they leave a job holding hands!).

THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1971)

Holy shit, kids… this is possibly the weirdest Bond yet. I’m thinking it may have something to do with dropping acid being a British middleclass leisure activity. The pre-credit sequence is the best of the series. Instead of focusing on Bond, we get the villain (Christopher Lee) Scaramanga and his diminutive manservant Tattoo, er, Nick Nack brushing up on their assassin skills with a mob hitman. Oh, and this all happens in a funhouse on Scaramanga’s fantasy island lair. It it awesome, sirs.

The plot veers into the familiar comic book-y world of 007 with something called a “Solex Agitator” that harnesses the power of the sun so Scaramanga can make a killing (ho!) during the energy crisis. I believe this may be the first time the Bond films have touched on real world global crisis (like the all too real possibility of a microchip shortage in A View to a Kill). The real treat is Lee as Scaramanaga (a name so great I will continue typing it all out in lieu of common pronouns). Finally, a villain that’s not a paunchy Euroslob! Scaramanga is the world’s highest priced assassin ($1 million bucks!) and he’s got three nipples too. See? Acid.

The 70’s Bond flicks are just so weird and great. Giving themselves over to the pulp nature of their origins instead of keeping it real is my preferred vintage of Bond.

THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987)

Oh man, if this isn’t a much needed palette cleanser after A View to a Kill… Bond returns again. And he’s not a geriatric! He’s also entirely humorless and a flop with the chicks! Timothy Dalton takes on the role in the 1st of his 2 outings. He’s great even though the film's kind of aren’t. A holdover from the Moore run, John Glen directs with all the style and panache of an A-Team episode. The flick is overly long and short on the playfulness that separates Bond from DTV pap.

I do have to point out how hilariously dated it is. Bond teams with the noble Mujahiddeen in Afghanistan during the Afghan/Soviet war. An Osama Bin Laden figure plays ally to Bond in his fight against a rogue Soviet jerkoff. I love it.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999)

This is one of two of the Bond films I hadn’t seen before this review. I was never really a fan of Pierce Brosnan after Goldeneye and Tomorrow Never Dies so I ignored his last two outings. Thing with Brosnan is he always seemed like my mom's idea of Bond, charming in a cover to a Harlequin Romance kind of way and totally unthreatening. But I have to have give credit, he’s the very best part of The World is Not Enough.

Surprise, another ludicrous plot! The villains are bores. Which is a shame since Robert Carlyle is a better than decent actor and the backstory of his Renard is kind of cool, yet nothing comes of it. Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist is greatness, however.

The familiarity of a film series into it’s 20th movie, doesn’t help. We’ve got a skiing bit, a submarine bit… shit, this is like the 3rd time I’ve seen the inside of a pipeline! It’s not at all unreasonable to see how necessary a reboot was.

Special mention of the nature of the AV presentation must be made. It’s not something that’s usually a dealbreaker for me. I’m a film lover, not a DVD lover. But this is a goddamn gorgeous, resplendent restoration job. I am positive the team at Lowry Digital has sworn their souls to Satan. The oldest film in the set, Goldfinger, looks like it was released yesterday. You have never seen Gert Fröbe projected on a gilded woman’s ass in more stunning clarity.

The DTS isn’t to be fucked with either. One thing I hate is when they remix an older film and throw random jarring sound effects out of the rears to impress and/or vacate your bowels. This is more like they just opened up the field. Great work. The Dolby Digital is, I’m sure, quite serviceable.

There are more extras on board than I was willing to watch (I know, I’m dedicated). From a quick perusal of all the internets, some stuff was ported over from the old sets and some stuff is new. I will say that if you haven’t yet purchased the 007 movies, this is really a no-brainer. If you have, well Mr. Drummond, what are you waiting for? NEW TRANSFERS AND DTS!

Ben Miro Will Return in “DVD REVIEW: JAMES BOND ULTIMATE COLLECTION - VOL. 2”