Friday, April 07, 2006
New Movies Up In Your Grill
By KatangaThe Fake Life will try to give you the heads up on movies you should be seeing and movies that will earn you nothing but scorn and ridicule for seeing. Seriously, if you go see The Benchwarmers this weekend, we at The Fake Life hope you get herpes. If you already have herpes, we hope you infect your mom with it.
Brick (limited)Director: Rian Johnson
Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lukas Haas, Emilie de Ravin
The word is this is a by-the-book film noir set in a high school. I gotta say I love the concept. Every thing I’ve heard from credible folk indicates this is a big cult film in the making. It’s good to get in on the ground floor with these kinds of flicks so you’re no Donnie Darko-Come-Lately.
Lucky Number Slevin
Director: Paul McGuigan
Stars: Josh Hartnett, Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu
GIANT magazine gave this big ups. For whatever it’s worth. Apparently it’s a zany misplaced identities comedy that turns dark. Solid cast (Ben Kingsley notwithstanding). Director McGuigan helmed Gangster No. 1, which was a tight little flick, although the advertising makes it hard not to think of Guy Ritchie's epics [but then again that goes for most of British film nowadays. - Ed.]
The Benchwarmer
Director: Dennis Dugan
Stars: David Spade, Jon Heder, Rob Schneider
Jesus. “From the director of Beverly Hills Ninja and Problem Child!!!” I could go on and on about how awful this looks and what kind of person enjoys this crap, but really, if this is your thing – we may not be the movie info-tainment site for you. Enjoy the searing hot flames of hell, mouthbreather.
Editorial: Realism Is For Retards
By Andrew Clarke
I am a giant nerd. As such, I've been playing The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion a lot recently. I've also been reading a lot of forums about Oblivion and the main topic of conversation seems to be the graphics. This is just another occurance of this bizarre use of 'realism' as a judge of 'quality'. This idea infects games and movies and is entirely daft. Let's get rid of it.
The best graphics I have ever seen in a game belong to Outcast, made in the 20th century, without the aid of hardware acceleration (remember when that was the new big thing?), and created by the use of voxels, which are apparently 3-Dimensional pixels and not small cars.
The reason why it has the best graphics is because, behind all the aliasing and lo-rez textures, it gave the impression that there was a world it was trying to show. It was only the shortcomings of the technology that was stopping the game showing it better. The graphics were like a filter between you and this other world. Compare this with newer games that have a more literal approach and claim that they are 100% photo-real (Max Payne 2's marketing was full of this talk) - that what the screen is showing IS the world. But of course, it never is photo-real, and the so world the game creates is that much poorer.
And that's the difference. Outcast's graphics manage the trick of being representative of a world. The graphics are not the world itself, but merely the thing in the way of seeing that world clearly. The magic is, of course, is that the world does not exist - it was created. It is the distancing from the world that implies that there is a world to be distanced from and, therefore, sells the idea of this created world existing all the better.
Art, by its nature, is representative, not literal. It is never about what it is, always about what it is about. In this way the sfx of Star Wars are better than the sfx in The Phantom Menace, the fakey gore of cheap horror movies is often more effective than the slick blood effects in studio horrors.So stop complaining that Neo looks cartoony in the Burly Brawl, stop chasing after the meaningless and entirely illusory goal of 'photo-realism', and stop looking at the texture resolution of the fucking mountains. Fucking nerds. Continue reading Editorial: Realism Is For Retards
Thursday, April 06, 2006
He'll Be Back... But Does Anyone Care?
By Charlie Brigden
Once upon a time, Australia was home to crocs, convicts and Paul Hogan. But some smart guy decided they could shoot movies there, and now Hollywood has taken the land of Oz into its filthy arms, with seemingly every big event movie being shot there, notably the Matrix films as well as the last two Star Wars movies, and this summer's Superman Returns. But according to producer Andy Vajna, the just-won't-die-thus-emulating-its-title-character Terminator franchise is possibly going to take its latest venture down under, although sources refuse to confirm it's because he thinks the country looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland (hey, it worked for Mad Max).Vajna says he has a script ready by writers John Brancato and Michael Ferris, both of whom wrote the mildly-entertaining Rise of the Machines and superhero shitpile Catwoman, and is looking for a director to take on what he says is a "real sci-fi picture." We're hoping he means real sci-fi as in 2001 or Blade Runner as opposed to Judge Dredd, but then again we're also hoping for an actual watchable film after looking at Vajna's last project, Basic Instinct 2. But will everyone's favourite Californian Governor return as well?
"There is a very interesting role for Arnold if he decides he wants to do it," says Vajna, although admittedly it's a cameo and depends very much on where he goes with his political career. For the safety of the world, I'd advise he signs him up for a twenty-picture deal before Demolition Man starts to come true, but in any case, a Terminator of some sort will apparently be appearing in theaters in 2007. Thankfully, I think it's safe to say Eddie Furlong won't be.
Source: The Sydney Morning Herald Continue reading He'll Be Back... But Does Anyone Care?
