Saturday, April 22, 2006
Steve Perry in 3-D? Alas, no.
Terribly underrated actor Brendan Frasier (Watch Gods and Monsters and The Quiet American and you'll agree) has joined forces with New Line Cinema and Walden Media to star in a modern remake of the Jules Verne classic "Journey to the Center of the Earth" entitled simply Journey 3-D.
At the helm will be visual effects supervisor (The Abyss, Total Recall, The Day After Tomorrow) and first-time feature film director Eric Brevig, whom you probably have never heard of, but did have a big hand in the eye-popping visuals of Michael Jackson's in-your-face extravaganza Capatin EO. Wait, you don't remember Capatin EO? With Angelica Huston starring as "The Supreme Leader"? Yeah, I vaguely do either. But I know I still have those 3-D glasses somewhere in my house.
Journey 3-D, which has been scripted by D.V. DeVincentis (High Fidelity), will tell the tale of "a scientist who is stuck with his nephew as they embark on a trip to Iceland to check on a volcanic sensor. During a storm, they get trapped in a cave, and the only way out is through the center of Earth." The film will be shot in live-action "with the otherworldly landscapes and creatures supplied by high-definition, photo-real 3-D technology."
I'm not sure whether I should be excited about this or not (I'm currently not), but I have become more and more interested in 3-D technology within the last year or so what with so many of our favorite big-time directors really embracing it as a new tool in storytelling. Whether it'll turn out to be more of a gimmick than anything else remains to be seen (and I guess that largely sits on how audiences will receive it). But damn, the idea of seeing a film like say Lord of the Rings in legitimate 3-D certainly warms these bastard's loins.
Journey 3-D begins lensing in Montreal on June 10th.
Source: Reuters Continue reading Steve Perry in 3-D? Alas, no.
Are you asking me if she can act? Dude, seriously, I don't really care.
I hate to differ with my friend and co-editor Charlie Brigden, but Eva Longoria is hot. Maybe it's the Mexican in me or simply my own man-whore impulses, but whatever it is, the girl just sorta does it for me. And she didn't at one point, but... well, hooking up with her apparent twin at a club will do wonders in swaying your opinion.So is there a news item in here somewhere? I guess so (but don't mistake this for good, relevant news... it's definitely an excuse for an exploitative pic or two... and you can thank me later).
Longoria is teaming up with Touchstone Pictures and will be doing a new picture in her homestate of Texas, aptly titled Deep in the Heart of Texas. The story centers on "a spoiled Beverly Hills diva (Longoria) who becomes a fish out of water when she is relocated to San Antonio to run the new Latin division of an ad agency." I'm praying this'll be a straight up drama because that's the only way this shit's gonna be funny. But wait, there's more: "Being completely out of touch with her Mexican roots and speaking not a word of Spanish, she has to win over the gringo urban cowboy who is her new boss, speaks fluent Spanish and is more in touch with her heritage than she is." OMG RACIAL INSENSITIVITY LOL!
You can currently see Longoria doing a whole lot of nothing in the Michael Douglas snoozer The Sentinel. As for Deep in the Heart of Texas, no tentative release date has been set, but if you're planning on seeing this for reasons other than maybe getting a glimpse of Longoria's fine backside... well... I hope you get shot. In a drive-by. By Mexicans.
One more for the road...
Source: THR Continue reading Are you asking me if she can act? Dude, seriously, I don't really care.
Friday, April 21, 2006
The Not-So Final Frontier
As we learned in 1984 when everybody searched for Spock, despite having kicked the Vulcan bucket in the previous movie, even the final frontier is never really final in the Star Trek universe. With the franchise seemingly left to drift aimlessly in space like a Klingon bird of prey after a few too many dates with photon torpedoes following the poorly received (both critically and commercially) Star Trek: Nemesis and the show nobody watched, Enterprise - which was the first Star Trek series since the original to not run seven full seasons), nerds everywhere have been given a shining ray of hope, in the form of Alias and Lost honcho J.J. Abrams, currently getting plaudits ever for Mission: Impossible III.
Apparently, Star Trek XI: Oh So Tired will go into production under the helm of Abrams for a 2008 release date, and if you're a nerd, the concept they have will probably sound familiar. According to Variety, the film will "center on the early days of "Star Trek" characters James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, including their first meeting at Starfleet Academy and first outer-space mission." In case you didn't know, this already came close to happening a decade and a half ago, so I hope Abrams and co. aren't trying to pass this off as their own concept.
In 1990, as Star Trek was gearing up for its 25th anniversary, producer Harve Bennett - who'd pulled the franchise out of the doldrums after The Motion Picture (although I love that movie) - had an idea to reinvigorate the series, which was then seen publically getting long in the tooth, especially after the disastrous Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Bennett proposed a prequel, where we would see the early days as Kirk joined Starfleet, became friends with Spock, and eventually Bones as well. The film would be bookended with old Kirk and crew as they reminisced. But as with all things, people get scared of news ideas, so Paramount decided they'd rather stick with the tried and tested, and went through with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
I don't know if they'd have the bookends now, especially as Deforest "Bones" Kelley is, well, dead, but it's essentially the same idea. I think it's an interesting one, providing it doesn't turn into Star Trek: The College Years. I think the franchise needs a real good kick in the warp nacelles, and while I think there's still mileage left in the TNG crew, or at least Picard as a character, this sounds interesting. I just hope they don't try and reboot the whole franchise, Battlestar Galactica-esque. I'd miss the old Jim Kirk.
Source: Reuters Continue reading The Not-So Final Frontier
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Editorial: Victims of Stupidity?
Humans are essentially big learning computers. We take in information, process that information, then find conclusions based on that information that most suit our knowledge, philosophy, and experience.
Our experience.
Most of us past our twenties are starting to build up our own experiences, made up of whatever they still remember from school, their fragmented teenage years, and what they've learnt since then. We gain more experience, thus we gain more knowledge, and thus we become wiser and smarter. Or so we think.
One of the things that pisses me off the most is when you relate something traumatic or painful to someone, and they say 'I can imagine.' I don't blame them persay, because when faced with someone who has gone through a terrible experience or loss, it's hard to find the words that really sound the right thing to say anyway. My experience of this comes from losing my mother. Whenever I explained to someone what had happened, a lot of the time, people would say 'I can imagine.' And while I'd be all polite and smiles and thank-yous outside, my inside would be jumping up and down shouting 'No you fucking can't! Your parents are still fucking ALIVE!'
And this leads me to horror movies. Horror movies are almost like participation events, like pantomimes essentially. The young buxom wench of a leading actress is walking up to the dark shack after the power just went out, and we're there shouting at the screen that Jason or Freddy or whoever is behind the door. Of course, in good horror movies he won't be behind the door, but instead he'll jump out of nowhere to give our heroine - and ourselves - a huge shock.
But one of the biggest things people complain about in horror movies are the 'stupid characters.' Of course, this was focused on in a huge way in Wes Craven's Scream, although the irony of that film being chock-full of dumbbell characters surely can't be lost on someone as learned as Craven. But it's what people like to do; they like to shout at the characters on screen, then they like to complain about how stupid the characters were, and what they would have done.
This of course ranges from simply running out the front door to getting a knife and slicing the murderer's head off while performing Neo-esque acrobatics to escape whatever sharp implements he/she is trying to kill you with. Add a snappy wisecrack to the camera, followed by said person grabbing the hunk/damsel in distress and taking off into the sunset, roll credits.
Which of course, is usually a dumb solution. The fragility of the male ego is obviously apparent here - and it is mostly males who do this - and we have the usual 'I'm such a badass' complex come up. It's the same with the cheesy line syndrome. People don't like to hear cheesy lines, because they like to think of themselves as being as cool as a cucumber and being able to spout Shane Black-esque dialogue at any suituation that demands it, instead of being, y'know, human. In the same vein, people don't like to think of themselves as not being in control, as not being able to deal with a situation such as the ones presented in horror movies.
The fact is that I don't know if I could handle myself in a fight on a street, let alone beat the odds against Leatherface. This is why in real life, the number of people actually getting away versus the number of victims who die horribly, is probably at a 4-1 margin. Of course, in horror movies, we like to say they're dumb and stupid and shout at the screen because we know what's coming. As an audience, we're almost always treated to exclusive knowledge about where the killer is, and when he's about to strike, and where the victim should run.
Of course, life would be easier if we had that option. But then life would be a video game. Every time we'd look for a new job, we'd look on our Konami-programmed radar to discover which of the jobs is likely to lead to a successful career, and which one is likely to throw a red turtleshell at you. If we were about to be mugged, a warning sign would appear followed by a position of said mugger on the map in relation to you, allowing you to avoid the mugger with the greatest of ease.
But life is far more unpredictable than that. I'll now relate to you my own personal tale which has relevance here. In August of 2003, I was living on my own in an apartment in the North of England. One particular night, I was sitting at the computer nerding away on the internet when I heard several loud noises outside, on the landing. My first initial thought was that the guy in the flat upstairs was pissed. However, I soon realized that thought was very, very off the mark as someone proceeded to kick my door in.
Now this is where the horror movie starts. I was frozen in fear. Completely. I tried to call the cops, but I couldn't pick up the phone and dial. Someone was smashing my door in and all I could do was stand there unable to comprehend anything other than the fact that I was scared fucking shitless. The guy came in, and attacked me. Again, I was pretty helpless. Luckily, he was so out of his brain on whatever drugs he'd been taking that night, that by the time my adrenaline eventually rose to the point where I could do something, he wasn't much of a match for me. I mean, I'm a big guy and all that, but I'm not a fighter.
Here's the thing, though: I didn't go for a knife, even though there was one right there on the counter, that he could have picked up had he the inclination. He could've picked that knife up and sliced me into little bits if he wanted to. The only reason I got out of that situation was to get the fuck out of there. I went for the door, he grabbed me, I wrestled with him, I pulled him around, and I eventually got him outside where I managed to throw him down the stairs that lead to my apartment. After that, I grabbed my cellphone, ran out of the house down the street where there was a Subway and a nightclub, and thus lots of people, and called the cops.
I never spent another night in that house.
But this is what I mean about thinking how you would react in a horror film type situation - and believe me, that situation was a million times scarier than any horror movie - and how you do actually react. I was watching Wolf Creek the other day, and a lot of people criticised that movie for having stupid characters. Sorry, but if I was being chased by a psychotic loon with a Paul Hogan hat and a sniper rifle, I wouldn't know what the fuck to do.
Of course, there is that adrenaline point, where you sometimes are finally able to do something about the situation that is happening. But in a state like that, you won't be able to load up two pistols with maximum bullets, spin around the room like Spider-Man and then blow the guy away while shouting 'Hasta la vista, baby!' No, if you try that, you'll just die.
I'm not saying all horror films are thus excused from having dumb characters. Some really do have utterly dumb characters, that don't even act anywhere near how they should in situations like that. Others use characters as simple avatars to move the plot along, without even thinking about how the characters should act but instead worrying about how their story will fit.
But a lot of the time, horror movies are a lot more realistic in these situations than you might think. And having been there in some way, I think maybe it's time to reassess what we see as dumb.
After all, what you may think is dumb might save your life some day. Continue reading Editorial: Victims of Stupidity?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Editorial: I Don't Want My Donkey Verbatim
I’m going to try and explain this to the best of my abilities.
See the giant monkey climb. Make the giant monkey climb.
Watch the brooding anti-hero’s night vision. Look through the brooding anti-hero’s night vision.
Be ashamed of Mace Windu’s dialogue. Be ashamed of Mace Windu’s dialogue while moving him around.
Let me make it clearer.
Film is the Mexican salesman. Video games are the pack donkey he rides around on.
The donkey you could ride, control, and basically bend to your will and whim. It’s simpler to understand how to manipulate the donkey. Donkeys also don’t live very long, especially if you use him a lot. Eventually the weight will wear him down and the donkey will die and ascend to the heaven of the donkeys. This is, of course, tragic, but all things good last only so long. You might have one of the most exciting experiences on this donkey and your misadventures with him, but it is all so very bittersweet.
That wacky Mexican salesman is a little different. Not knowing Spanish you often don’t know what the hell he’s trying to say. Most of the time you have to figure it out, understand the intricacies of if he is either selling you burritos or wants to know where the bathroom is located. Sometimes the salesman is so incredibly frustrating, you might want nothing to do with him. Sometimes he’s not very nice, and in fact rude and obnoxious. Rarely, he seems like the nicest and most refreshing gentleman you’ve met. Luckily, your Mexican friend, perhaps named Santiago or George, is around for quite some time. He might even be a Highlander, but that’s very rare I would suppose.
It wouldn’t be very likely you could make one of them look like the other. Sure, you can dress that donkey up like a Mexican salesman, complete with greasy mustache. I guess you could put that salesman in a donkey costume. It would be real hot in there, and he'd probably be very upset, but you could do it. Neither will ever really be like the other. In the end it will always be a sweaty Mexican guy in a donkey suit instead of a real one.
I doubt you get it. That analogy might have been too long for the both of us.
Let me try again.
They won't be the same. Ever.
Video games are trying to be more like movies here recently. Along side that films are trying to adapt things directly for the sake of the fans, who seem content at having their favorite things recreated in a different format word from word and over and over again. Nothing new, really. Geeks in particular have wanted that since the beginning of time. If a lot of geeks had their way Lord of the Rings would have been a 30 hour miniseries on HBO. Complete with narration and untimely songs featuring a pony named Fatty Lumpkin.
With video games it’s even more interesting. People want the same thing with books and comic books that they want with video game to movie adaptations. Clearly, I find this puzzling and distressing. I suppose, if you really wanted, you could adapt Half-Life 2 to the screen verbatim. Complete with randomly thrown bottles and cans at important story intervals. But why would you? The experience of the video game is a completely different beast. In some ways I could maybe justify a comic book being directly adapted, but as evidenced by Sin City the result isn’t that appealing.
Of course the main problem is the interactivity. Emotional resonance and response in a game is always through the player. You may have an avatar, and that avatar may have a name of groan worthy proportions like Cloud Strife (because he’s free in the sky...like true love), Solid Snake, or Revolver Ocelot, but in the end you are controlling him and experiencing most of the events through him as if they happened to you. In fact, as games get more sophisticated with time, the line between avatar and player will surely begin to blur.
Films have their character’s emotion displayed and projected upon the viewer, but in a completely different way. Most of the experiences you’re going to feel in films are through relation or understanding, not interactivity. I relate to that guy in Crash who is really racist, because I am also really racist. See what I mean? Relation.
Indigo Prophecy was a decent game that tried to go the more cinematic route. The story was rather ridiculous, and comparing it to something like The Matrix (things aren’t real; it must be like The Matrix!) is a bit much. It had a problem, though. The more you played, the more you realized you weren’t playing. Eventually it felt like you were just watching and every once and while pressing buttons real fast. The reverse could be said for the big dumb oaf that was Doom. The FPS sequence was unwieldy and awkward because I felt like I should have a mouse and keyboard in front of me, not like I should actually care about what’s going on. Granted, that was a bad example to go off, since there is far more wrong with Doom than that, but it’s all I got.
How does one solve this problem? Roger Avary seems to know. He also knows Tarantino, so he’s automatically right no matter what he says.
“I'd like the movie to be judged by the fans as a movie. Cinema is a passive experience, and the interactivity of a game is an entirely different experience, with its own strengths and weaknesses. The gamers need to remember that they give up control in a movie theater.”
That would be nice, Roger, but gamers are fickle creatures. I’m sure when Silent Hill comes along you’ll gaze upon such classic remarks like:
“The game was better!”
“They should have got a guy to play the lead!”
“Pyramid Head didn’t rape hard enough!”
Then again, Pyramid Head better rape hard, otherwise I’m going to boycott it. By not seeing it…again.
Ultimately, there is a still a sort of hope with all this. Games can be vaguely cinematic in nature, but you have to craft it very carefully and execute it with exceptional precision. King Kong, Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, God of War, these are a few of the games that escaped the awkward clutch of being an interactive movie. With swirling camera angles, captivating stories and adventures, wonderfully fitting music, and the elimination of most HUD displays they were enthralling games that just happened to have cinematic variations in it. Realizing perhaps the most important idea that video games are in all actuality a different art form, and you have to use its own advantages rather than trying to turn it into something else.
Maybe Silent Hill will finally be able to prove the other side of the coin is indeed possible.
Roger Avary Quote: FiringSquad Continue reading Editorial: I Don't Want My Donkey Verbatim
Editorial: Normal People
A Stranger Calls made a $20m splash on its opening weekend. Slither made the kind of splash that means you'll have to wipe your bottom twice. The Internet was invented so I could write: WTF?!?!?!?
Why do shit films make lots of cash while good ones are only good for poopy jokes? And not just shit films, but really fuckingly godawfully shit movies?
The reason is because we are wrong. We started losing the plot around about the time when we argued with our normal friends over which version of Dawn Of The Dead was better. We should have known we were in trouble when we liked Magnolia more than Crash ('When I woke up', our friend said, 'there were all these fucking frogs. Where the fuck did they come from?'). We should have given up when we said The Life Aquatic was funnier than Wedding Crashers, when we said Shaun Of The Dead was a more truthful romantic comedy than Failure to Launch and when we said that Fight Club wasn't advocating punching each other.
We are wrong and it's all our fault. We simply don't know what movies are.
Movies are entertainment, and entertainment means giving the audience what they want. The audience knows what it wants. It wants what it knows.
This is why we get all the 'It's The Next Titanic/Star Wars/Four Weddings!' tags on movie ads. This is why movies get described as a mix between 'x' and 'y'.
When someone says 'that film really touched me', or 'that film was really true', what they mean is 'that film said something I already agree with'. If it says something they don't agree with they say it is a terrible movie, or that it 'did nothing for me'.
Difference is bad.
Quality equals comfort. A movie that tells you what you already know, that your values, opinions and knowledge were right all along, despite what all those horrible, elitist intellectuals say, is comforting. It makes you feel good.
Movies are there to tell you what you already know. People need the world to be a particular way, so you have films telling you that the world IS in fact that way. Films about foreign cultures, alternative lifestyles and other alien worlds will always make those worlds like ours, underneath some surface, cosmetic differences. 'They're just like us', says the hero. The sci-fi cliche of an entire world of one type of person - hippies, fascists, warriors or furious people - is the ultimate expression of this. Heaven forfend that there be things out there that, deep down, are not the same as us AND seem to function perfectly well.
It is no surprise that villains are often the ones who are most alien to us. The happy ending is one where our way of life is preserved and where we, despite forces arrayed against us, are proven right. And it is no surprise, if the film-maker wants to suggest some sympathy for the villain in the third act, that they will make the villain more like us, giving them some motive about being bullied, or having an illness or needing money.
Deep down, the purpose of movies is to be all the same. They have been designed that way. Cliches, formulas and the thousand tricks of hackdom are not accidents of incompetence, they are carefully designed and cultivated tools for making good films. Tired re-treads, unnecessary re-makes and other 100% recycled movies are the goal, not the compromise.
Movies are entertainment. Everything else is just work, and why would you pay for that?
Why? Because we are selfish, lazy, stupid and afraid. Our cultures encourage us to be this way. Our religions tell us we are right and so everything that is different is wrong. Otherness is to be feared. We're still racist, homophobic and sexist. We still fight wars with muslims, shut old people, cripples and the mentally ill away, and we still watch shitty movies.
Too much? Am I going too far? I don't mean to blame the Church or the Government really. After all, they were made by us. And so was Hollywood.
We're different though. We movie nerds aren't like those normal people. We love movies, we often say. If a movie tells us something we don't understand, or do not agree with, we get excited, we are even willing to change our ideas about the world. We want 'art' in our movies.
The 'art' movie will attempt to show you something you do not already know. It will try and show you what it is like for that particular artist to live their lives, what they think about a subject, how they see the world. It is the dreaded 'personal' work. It will, by definition, not be what you are comfortable with and not be what you know, for you are not them.
We are sick.
But it's all right, there is hope. We can be saved. Let's take 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' - everyone speaks in clever, self-deprecating wit, thus telling clever, self-deprecating teenagers that, deep down, everyone is like them really. The ones that don't talk like that are not to be trusted. It is very comforting to clever, self-deprecating types.
The Matrix tells us that pasty Internet nerds will save the world and know Kung Fu. Hooray!
Also we keep calling out for the 'good' blockbuster. The quality Hollywood product. If we were really lost, we would have turned our back on studio product altogether. We would have accepted that a hollywood film is a product, like a Mars Bar, good for a giggle or a sugar rush, but not anything like actual food. But we haven't. We still talk about this mythical beast of the 'good' blockbuster as if it weren't an oxymoron. This suggests that, deep down, we aren't really looking for 'good' films, only another crappy film that will agree with us. All we need to do now is breed sufficiently for our niche sensibilities to become prevalent enough for the business of Hollywood to cater to us.
Internet movie nerds! Get fucking! Continue reading Editorial: Normal People
Lou Gossett, Jr's Box-Office Bonanza - April 17th
When will you people learn? If you encourage the Wayans and their ilk, they will make more damn movies! This is proven by the latest box office success of Scary Movie 4, which bypassed all logic and praying by anyone who cares about good movies to make $40 million this weekend. Thank you, good moviegoers!There's no change at #2 and #3, with Ice Age 2 and The Benchwarmers (again, thank you!) taking $20m and $9.9m respectively. The only other new entry in the top ten is Disney's The Wild, which only pulled in $9.6m, which is probably a lot less than the Mouse House thought it would. Then again, from what I hear, it's essentially a clone of Madagascar. In an ideal world, I'd spend the next paragraph talking about how bad that movie was, but then my fiancee would dump me, and who wants that?
Next week sees the long-awaited arrival (at least by the TFL crew) of Christophe Gans' Silent Hill. Can a video-game movie actually be good? Let's hope so. Along with that, we have American Idol/political satire American Dreamz, which aside from a stellar turn from Willem Dafoe, looks terrible, and The Sentinel, where Michael Douglas tries to pretend it's not 2006 and he isn't seventy-four years old, and tries to foil a Presidential assassination, with the actually-not-as attractive-as-everyone-thinks-she-is Eva Longoria. Let's hope the almighty gets his groove on and allows Silent Hill to a: be good, and b: take the spoils (providing it's good).
1. Scary Movie 4 (Dimension) - $40.2m
2. Ice Age 2: The Meltdown (Fox) - $20m (Overall $147.2m)
3. The Benchwarmers (Sony) - $9.9m (Overall $35.m)
4. The Wild (Disney) - $9.6m
5. Take The Lead (New Line) - $6.7m (Overall $22.6m)
6. Inside Man (Universal) - $6.4m (Overall $75.4m)
7. Lucky Number Slevin (MGM) - $4.7m (Overall $14.2m)
8. Thank You For Smoking (Fox Searchlight) - $4.4m (Overall $11.5m)
9. Failure To Launch (Paramount) - $2.6m (Overall $83.1m)
10. V For Vendetta (Warners) - $2.2m (Overall $66m)
Source: Box Office Mojo Continue reading Lou Gossett, Jr's Box-Office Bonanza - April 17th
X3: Poles Apart
As you can imagine, the X3 marketing is steamrolling along towards its late May debut, and the latest in the promotional juggernaut is this one-sheet from Polish movie site Filmweb.pl, featuring our mutant heroes in all their glory.
Unfortunately, like everything we've seen so far, it pretty much sucks. Wolverine looks like he has arthritus of the spine, Angel looks like he's been pasted in from the card of the inevitable action figure, and Storm looks like her hair has been on the losing side of a fight with Krazy Glue.
Not to mention the fact that Jean Grey in Phoenix Mode - which the last movie spent near its whole running time building up to - is completely in the background, next to Catwalk-Modelling Cyclops. Mercifully, Beast is also back where the eyes can barely see.
The sad thing is that the background image of the Golden Gate bridge going haywire is quite a stirring image, and you'd think it'd be fitting with the whole Phoenix deal and her newfound kickass powers. But that's Hollywood marketing for you. Evidently, it's not certain this poster is the same as what we'll see in North American theaters, but judging by the movie thus far, I wouldn't be surprised.
In a similar vein, the official X3: The Last Stand site is now online. It's your usual Flash-intensive experience, with all the character files you could ask for, but there's a curious, nay, hilarious little section on the left side of the main screen where you can get little images of the characters doing action moves, rather like the selection screen on a one-on-one video game. Let's hope the film is as entertaining as that little section.
X3: The Last Stand is released on May 26.
Source: Filmweb.pl Continue reading X3: Poles Apart
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Teste McTesticles!
OMGBALLS!
Awesome!
Source: hipusa.com
Discuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading Teste McTesticles!
But Superman 64 was one of the worst video games ever made!
And truly, it was. Though I heard the latest incarnation of Aquaman gives it a run for its money.
Anyway, the inevitable Superman Returns video game tie-in is apparently starting to take shape. Pretty much the entire cast (Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, Parker Posey and Sam Huntington) will be taking part in doing voice work for the Returns video game, which is said to be taking inspiration from both the upcoming film as well as the Superman comic books to create an open-ended game much like top hits of its genre Grand Theft Auto and the recent, supposedly decent The Godfather. They don't mention Spider-Man 2 or The Incredible Hulk Ultimate Destruction (probably since they're both Marvel) but I imagine it'll be a lot like those... and a lot less like Superman 64, which again, was one of the worst games to ever spit pixels at a television screen. Ever.
Here's more: "Electronic Arts and Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment -- the videogame division of WB -- will release the game this summer alongside the film... Routh is doing voice work and providing likeness rights as Superman, who is the main playable character in the game. The other actors are only doing voiceovers."
No unlockable Kevin Spacey to rampage willy-nilly 'round Metropolis? FUCK YOU, LIFE!
Source: Variety, Dark Horizons Continue reading But Superman 64 was one of the worst video games ever made!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. Just buy the damn DVD.
Put down that 9th cup of coffee and stop looking at lingerie on Amazon. Big green news care of TVShowsOnDVD.com: The Incredible Hulk Season 1 is finally leaping onto DVD, hitting the streets on July 25th.
Fans of the Hulk (and steroids) will enjoy a kindler, gentler era where sissy-face Bill Bixby would get pissed and turn into a green, bumpy Lou Ferrigno. This usually involved a Dodge Aries K getting punched or longhairs from central casting being thrown around by the emerald brute.
The end credit music is quite possibly the dreariest, most depressing snatch of music ever foisted onto a small child's psyche.
Source: TVShowsOnDVD.com
Continue reading Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. Just buy the damn DVD.
Starbuck Speaks
The new Battlestar Galactica is the primo shit. It's mature human drama, well written and well acted, wrapped in a cold steely blanket of post-apocalyptic sci-fi goodness. Plus, there's the sumptuous Tricia Helfer for your eyes to feast on. So basically, you need to watch this show... OR DIE. There are really no other alternatives.ComingSoon.net was fortunate enough to interview Galactica's Katee Sackhoff (the cigar-chomping, man-looking "Starbuck") who threw fans a few little details on what to look forward to when Galactica returns for its third season on the Sci-Fi Channel later this year. She also talks White Noise 2, but... well... fuck, who really gives a shit about that?
Sackhoff revealed her appearance is going to change a little… well, okay a lot to her. "I just lost a huge battle with the producers as far as my hair and what length it should and should not be. So, it's gonna be gone. Shorter than it was in the mini-series." Like Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta short, we asked? "Yeah, kinda like that," she explained. "So that's going to be happening, and Starbuck finds another man. I'm like what is that? They are mad at me when I called it 'a soap opera' in an interview. She's sleeping with every damn guy on the show, how is it not a soap opera!? So, there is another man that comes into her life, and it is a very unlikely man that everyone is going to be so livid over. Okay, fine, you broke me, it's Adama."
At first, I hated Starbuck since she was easily one of the most clichéd elements of the show during the early parts of Season 1. Thankfully, throughout the course of the absolutely phoenomenal Season 2, she came into her own as one of the more complex characters in the entire series. She also seems to be more of a whore now, which is always nice.
For the rest of interview, click here.
Source: ComingSoon.net Continue reading Starbuck Speaks
DVD Cockfight: 4/18/06 Edition
Tuesday brings another reprieve for your coffers. There’s a nice lull until May and then you’ll be endlessly gouged Ryan Phillippe-in-prison-style for DVD’s. Like Highlander 2 with ball-shattering DTS! Even though it’s a light new release week there’s a few flicks to check out and it’s a good time to go back and pick up some movies you might have had on the holding pattern. I mean there’s absolutely no reason to save money or use it on bills or some crazy shit. Without further ado…
HostelDirected by Eli Roth
Starring Jay Hernandez, Derek Robinson, Creepy Euro Kids
The only movie worth your hard pimped ducats. It's another showcase of the recent return to honest-to-goodness horror courtesy of Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino. Make no mistake that Hostel has QT’s bloody pawprints all over it. I readily admit to being a fan of gore. I think it’s an unsung art, really. There are plenty of shit horror movies that I’ve enjoyed exclusively due to its splat maestro’s. So with that in mind I was prepared to enjoy Hostel on that level. But, lo and behold, it’s a real movie!
Two Americans are backpacking through Europe attempting to wallow in as much debauchery as they can. With a randy Norseman in tow, they are loud, obnoxious, objectifying assholes on the rampage. They pick up on a rumor of a war-torn hamlet where the men have died and the women are climbing the walls for cock. Ok, review time-out…this is the sort of story only dumb American college kids would believe, so see? Realism! Back to it, the three whoremongers trek to this hostel and find some hot, hot, hotties that are willing to fuck their lameasses. Another clue for the discerning, not-wanting-to-be-butchered persons.
Guess what? Really bad stuff happens. On the surface this is a solid setup for what could have been a quickie romp of violence and gore. However, Roth and his large craniumed rewriter have given this movie a heart and a big ol’ heaping helping of political subtext. And it’s surprisingly NOT that gory. I mean it is compared to Krippendorf’s Tribe. Hostel is a fairly moral film. It’s not gore porn and it doesn’t require the audience to contort its sensibilities in such a way to make the violence palatable. But for a movie about torture and suffering and terror, it’s really fun.
The DVD is pretty loaded for a single disc effort. A (metric) ton of commentaries featuring Roth, Tarantino, a couple of the actors (the younger Bellucci looking girl is wasted on an audio commentary, for shame!), editor George Folsey, and Harry Knowles. A couple featurettes and some trailers you’ll never watch. The meat is the commentaries.
Other releases you might want to pony up for:
The Complete Mr. Arkadin (aka Confidential Report) - Criterion CollectionI’ve never seen it but I’m always game for Welles. This is Welles AND Criterion so peanut butter and chocolate.
Bad DreamsI remember this from the wonderful world of late 80’s video rentals. It seems all I rented back then was this kind of cheap horror flick…and I loved them. This is about a murderous hippie, cult leader type who burned up his commune (you better believe I’m laughing as I type this). One chick survived and is tormented by this patchouli reeking Freddy Krueger in her BAD DREAMS. It’s a cheap dvd and It stars the junkie from Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and “Chainsaw” from Summer School in it. That’s about the breadth of its selling strength.
Event Horizon (Special Collector's Edition)I can’t believe self-respecting (admittedly a stretch) nerds like this garbage. I can’t believe Paul W.S. Anderson has a career other than directing siblings of stars like Patrick Swayze and Chuck Norris. However, he is the kitty hanging from a clothesline of motivation in a “If this guy can do it… I can!” kind of way. So, silver lining.
Moonstruck (Deluxe Edition)This is a great movie. I always manage to trip over it on cable and get wrapped up in its old-school sweetness and romance. Cher gives one of her very few good performances (ass hanging out of a unitard on an aircraft carrier notwithstanding) and Nicolas Cage back in the days when he couldn’t be fucked with. The guy was an acting monster back then. I miss that guy. And I’ll say it without fear of recrimination; Olympia Dukakis is GREAT in this movie and I dare say, steals a good portion of it. It’s on the cheap, as well. Continue reading DVD Cockfight: 4/18/06 Edition
