Friday, June 02, 2006
Zombie Takes On Myers? - Updated!
Update - Rob Zombie reveals his intentions with the Halloween franchise on his MySpace blog:"Okay here's the real deal for those of you who are confused. As I said yesterday - I am not making Halloween 9. That series is done, complete, over.
But what I am doing is starting totally from from scratch. This the new Halloween. Call it a remake, an update, a reimaging or whatever, but one thing that for sure is this is a whole new start... a new begining with no connection to the other series. That is exactly why the project appeals to me. I can take it and run with it.
I talked to John Carpenter about this the other day and he said, 'Go for it, Rob. Make it your own'. And that's exactly what I intend to do.
Any questions? Go ahead and ask'em."
Most, if not all of us here at TFL are big horror fans, and when it comes to horror, there aren't a lot of movies that come close to John Carpenter's legendary Halloween. Now, many of us thought that when series guru Moustapha Akkad passed away into memory last year, that meant an end to the seemingly endless legion of sequels to the 1978 classic. However, some of us knew better, and with Dimension Films unwilling to let an established brand character like Michael Myers go, it seems we're going to get another one. But it may not be as bad as it sounds.
According to man-mountain Ryan Rotten at Fangoria, the director Dimension is tapping for Halloween IX is none other than the living dead man himself, Rob Zombie. Rumoured to be bringing an adaptation of his Bigfoot comic to the screen, co-authored by 30 Days of Night writer Steve Niles, Zombie is - in this writer's opinion - responsible for the best horror movie in a long, long time in The Devil's Rejects, a film that I cannot believe isn't liked more by people.
So, is this just a rumour, or is there truth to it? I don't know, but if they're going to keep on making more Halloween movies, they might as well get someone good to do it. Maybe he'll do it like the underrated Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which used the title as a jumping-off point to make the franchise a Creepshow-esque anthology (which unfortunately never became reality after that movie's poor reception). Hell, someone like Zombie deserves carte blanche. Ad it can't be any worse than Resurrection (Alien or Halloween)...
Source: Fangoria, MySpace Continue reading Zombie Takes On Myers? - Updated!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Superman Really Returns
Whatever you say about the Superman trailers, one of their main successes - apart from showing some kickass action and actual intrigue - is that they're using the original 1978 John Williams theme. Well, if you loved that, get ready for more as Soundtrack.net has an exclusive first listen to the soundtrack to Superman Returns!
All the old themes are here (the march, the love theme, the Kent farm, the planet Krypton) and from the soundclips online, it sounds like John Ottman (who delivered the last really good superhero score with 2003's X2) has really done well to pay homage to the original, but also bring a new sheen of glory to those beloved notes.
Just listen to track 15, "Fly Away/Reprise," and tell me you don't get a lump in your throat. This is the final sign, after Nicolas Cage near-misses and dozens of aborted projects, that Superman really is back, and if this is anything to go by, he'll at least sound fantastic.
Source: Soundtrack.net Continue reading Superman Really Returns
…and Gwen Stacy’s Marvelous Two
Spider-Man 3 is on location in NYC with more and more photos from the set cropping up. Today brings us a batch of Spidey rescuing the alarmingly hot Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard…the only worthwhile thing Ron Howard has ever produced) care of AICN.
I’m not as rabidly anti-Dunst as some of my cohorts here, but the girl is painfully malnourished. Ms Howard eats her Wheaties, thank Richie.
The word is central casting has snapped up all the eunuchs in the five boroughs to play Spidey in costume. Ahem.
And hey, here’s a snap of Topher Grace giving us his Venom face. A Stunt Tongue, played by Gene Simmons, will be added in digitally in post.
BREAKING NEWS!!!! SuperHeroHype has just posted a snippet from former Marvel CEO Avi Arad, and it's a big one. Our Avi confirms that Venom, Sandman and Harry Osborn aren't the only villains in SM3... there is another:
iF: There are four villains this time, Venom, Sandman, and Green Goblin and when is the fourth going to be revealed?
ARAD: Right we have four villains. Pretty soon [we'll reveal the fourth villain] I believe. Maybe around Comic Con we'll reveal something and the madness will begin.
Does this mean Gwen Stacy is the Black Cat? Will we have a special appearance from Mysterio? Stay tuned, Spider-Fans!
Source: AICN, SuperHeroHype
Continue reading …and Gwen Stacy’s Marvelous Two
Weinsteins Want to Start Riots and Shatter Your Dreams
This is the reason I write news posts, because of fucking crazy shit like this.
If you had told me yesterday that the Weinsteins might be considering remaking Seven Samurai the Akira Kurosawa classic, I would have probably just said, "No shit? Whose gonna be in it?" Then if you had told me Donnie Yen and Zhang Ziyi, I would have shrugged and kind of nodded, "Alright, that's pretty typical." Then if you would have told me George Clooney was being considered for the role of Kambei, I might have paused and waited for your voice or facial expressions to signify a joke. If it didn't I would have shook my head and simply said, "Well that's just kind of too stupid to be true."
And I still think that after reading the update at Monkeypeaches about this. It seems way too wacky and silly to be an actual possibility. I don't even think the Weinsteins are that insane, and if they are, I imagine Quentin Tarantino would stop them. Much like how he saved Hero from being pushed into oblivion by the Weinsteins ever inaccurate release dates, I figured he'd do the same to stop some fucked up crazy pitch of Seven Samurai that would have Clooney in one of the leads and a whole bunch of CGI battle scenes.
Now, if this is some sort of strange contemporary update of the classic (like a handful of films have already done) then that would be a different story and I would be rather intrigued. If this, however, is still set in feudal Japan then it's pretty dumb. And not just because of Clooney, but also because Hollywood is seemingly unable to address any Japanese stars save for Ken Wantanabe, who usually just ends up wasted in Hollywood films (see Batman Begins). I really don't care if there is a remake of any kind to be honest, because the original will always have a special place on my DVD shelf, and it certainly won't disappear if they make an updated version of it.
This also comes hot on the heels of the Weinsteins and Tarantino announcing their "Dragon Dynasty" company that would release DVDs of modern and classic kung-fu and Asian action movies that have otherwise been overlooked. This leads me even further to believe that the Weinsteins, whatever may be said of them, aren't really that incompetent or ridiculous to do something like the aforementioned casting of Clooney.
Now if there was some mix up and they were considering Clooney to direct, I might be changing my tune and be at least a bit curious. As is I think this is just crazy conjecture and overheard nonsense.
Source: MonkeyPeaches Continue reading Weinsteins Want to Start Riots and Shatter Your Dreams
People Will Be Shitting on Coats for the Rest of Eternity
Dane Cook is overrated, but still has some funny stuff in his routines. Most of our wonderful internet culture has a way of making things much, much worse or much better than it actually is. They do this by various tactics, one of them being repeating the same fucking catchphrase, joke, or all around memes over and over and over until finally it leaves a dirty stain on reality and another one comes along. I believe our resident Mr. Clarke is working on an editorial about some of this nonsense, and has probably hanged himself whilst trying to finish it because of the latent stupidity found in online discussions.One of the jokes that I always hear someone repeat is one of Dane Cooks' lesser routines of "Someone shit on the coats!" People say this often enough that I really just can't stand it. It gives me headaches at this point. It is only preceded on the "please don't mention it again" list by Chuck Norris nonsense and "I'm the Juggernaut bitch!" This has also kind of caused me to like Dane Cook less (along with other praised unfunny moments like his Tom Cruise impersonation). However, he still has genuinely good comedy here and there.
Apparently, Cook is popular enough to warrant his own starring vehicle entitled Good Luck Chuck. The film centers on Cook as a dentist who discovers every woman he dates finds her soul mate after they break up. Cook uses it to his advantage to date as many women as possible until his plans are foiled and clichéd when he finds his true love. The story is written by Josh Stolberg (who also wrote the upcoming Evan Almighty please God no stop it) and is directed by Mark Helfrich, who seems to be nothing more than a minion of Brett Ratner, which is about as impressive as a stale piece of bread.
The film, which probably won't be very good, will start shooting sometime in July.
Source: Variety Continue reading People Will Be Shitting on Coats for the Rest of Eternity
Editorial: DVD - What's Left? Part 2
Ralph Bakshi, a veteran animator best known for the X-Rated feature Fritz the Cat, was trying to pitch some new cartoons to CBS, but the network was uninterested in developing new characters. "Not really interested in developing new characters," he was told. "Do you have any established properties?" He didn't, but decided to bluff. "SHORE! I got MIGHTY MOUSE!"
Bakshi, for the most part, handed the reigns of the show to a young animator named John Kricfalusi, who produced a cartoon completely unlike anything that had been produced for television over the previous 20 years. The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse didn't look like an animated sitcom, it looked like a cartoon. Characters' eyes bugged out, their bodies contorted into impossible shapes, they exploded out of the screen. And it was genuinely funny. Like, laugh-out-loud, piss-your-pants funny. One recurring character was Mighty Mouse's friend, Batbat, a mild mannered bat who dressed up like a bat to fight crime. Another episode featured supervillain The Cow taking on The League of Super Rodents, an army of superhero spoofs, with "Three legs tied behind my back and my tongue taped to the ceiling."
Its run didn't last long. The cancellation after one season is generally chalked up to a conservative watchdog group that objected to a scene where Mighty Mouse snorted the powdered remains of a crushed flower, a visual drug gag that lasted maybe 2 seconds and which would have flown over the heads of any kids watching, but which was enough to send parents into a caring frenzy during the height of Just Say No hysteria. But the truth is, something this weird probably didn't have a long life expectancy on a network schedule in the first place. It probably survived as long as it did by having PeeWee's Playhouse, a similar adult-comedy-disguised-as-a-kid's-show, as a lead-in, but PeeWee's career was about to be cut short by scandal itself.
Although a second season was apparently completed, only a single episode aired, featuring a Scooby Doo parody that ended with Mighty Mouse being "unmasked," only to reveal "nothing in here but some veins and tendons." In a freak screwup of marketing, Mighty Mouse and The Cow action figures showed up at Burger King 6 months after the show had been cancelled. Now all that's left are sketchy memories, although you can get a glimpse of the greatness, preserved in low-resolution for posterity, here.
Ignored though the show had been, its influence could be felt throughout the cartoon world over the next few years, as Kricfalusi went on to birth Ren & Stimpy, changing the face of TV animation, and shows like Animaniacs and Freakazoid at least made Saturday mornings better than they had been in the days of Smurfs, Snorks and Shmoos. Soon, Cartoon Network would be developing a stable of twisted cartoons, Fox would have it's biggest hit with an animated sitcom, and Batman: The Animated Series would prove more satisfying to most fans than the live action movies it spun off from.
Kricfalusi, for his part, hated most of the new breed. "Tiny Toons took everything we tried in Mighty Mouse that didn't work," he said in an interview with the Onion AV Club. "They took all our mistakes, and created their own style around them." This writer would have to agree, but the generation of kids that got to watch Tiny Toons instead of the thousandth reworking of Scooby Doo might not. At any rate, there is a definite line that can be drawn at The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse. Before TNAoMM, TV animation was a uniform wasteland. It is difficult to look at the timeline and not see TNAoMM as a turning point, the Nirvana of televised animation. And although Ren & Stimpy is undoubtedly more popular, I still prefer the more chaotic Mighty Mouse cartoons, which are free of the "gross-out" humor of most Ren & Stimpy episodes.
And as such, you would think a DVD would be in the works somewhere. For its historical significance, for the popularity of John Kricfalusi, for the increasing popularity of bizarre cartoons, a DVD release seems like a no-brainer for the folks at CBS, Viacom, or whatever company owns the rights (and I can't find any evidence online that it is a rights dispute that's holding it up). There is, of course, an internet petition, if signing one of those makes you feel better. But we need a release of this series badly. A barebones collection would be fine, and at this point it's more than I expect, but when you've got two characters as outspoken as Bakshi and Kricfalusi involved, it would seem an enormous waste not to get them in a room together to record a commentary track.
Sources and Resources:
Onion AV Club interview with John Kricfalusi
Harry McCracken interview with Kricfalusi from 1988
New Adventures of Mighty Mouse episode guide at TV.com
ASIFA-Hollywood Biographies on Ralph Bakshi and John Kricfalusi
Ralph Bakshi's Official Site has a gallery of Mighty Mouse images
And John Kricfalusi's blog is always a good read! Continue reading Editorial: DVD - What's Left? Part 2
Fantastic Ass Speaks
Thespian extraordinare Jessica Alba (and by thespian extraordinare, I obviously mean hot ass mama jama who can't act) spoke to USA Today and revealed a little bit of info about the upcoming Fantastic Four sequel.
"We start Fantastic Four 2 in August," said Alba. "The four of us learn that there are other people out there with superpowers, and the Silver Surfer appears as a villain/hero. And another villain comes in as well. My character, Susan Storm, has another love triangle and may use a power people haven't seen before. She's the most powerful of the four.""A power people haven't seen before" huh? Nerds everywhere will unanimously clamour for a "hard R rating" now. Wait. They would've anyway.
The extent of my knowledge of the Silver Surfer is that he's not made of gold, he probably enjoys The Beach Boys, and that Tim Roth's Mr. Orange from Reservoir Dogs had some man-child love for the character before getting capped in the gut by some gun-tottin' Angelino bitch. Comic fans, what's he do on the page? Is he a viable villian? Hero? What? Teach me. I'm too lazy to Google.
As for Ms. Alba, she'll next be seen hosting the MTV Movie Awards, a show so ridiculously stupid that it literally lowers IQ points and sperm counts. Neither of which are required to ogle at her sumptuous visage, thankfully.
Fantastic Four 2 is currently slated for a June 15, 2007 release.
Source: USA Today Continue reading Fantastic Ass Speaks
Geek Pin-Up #2: Ornella Muti
She'll save every one of us...
#2 - ORNELLA MUTI
I'll be perfectly honest, I don't really know today's fine specimen from anything other than the 1980 camped up remake of Flash Gordon, where she played Princess Aura, daughter of Max Von Sydow's Ming, boyfriend of Timothy Dalton's Prince Barin (who charmingly refers to her as "lying bitch!"), and generally a space-nymphomaniac, trying to work her way through everyone on Mongo.
According to IMDB, she's mostly been in Italian movies, with the occasional foray into misguided Sylvester Stallone comedies (Oscar) and the recent Asia Argento movie, The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things. But we - and most of you, I'd judge - love her for Flash, and thus, we show our appreciation. Just a tip, when you have a chance do a Google image search for her appropriately smokin' daughter, Naike Rivelli. But back to Ms. Muti. I actually had trouble finding pictures that weren't NSFW, which just increases my love and respect for the woman.
All I can say to sum up is, I'd definitely give her the bore worm. Continue reading Geek Pin-Up #2: Ornella Muti
Summer Preview 2006 - Part 5
Miami ViceThe Cast? Colin “Just One More Drink and I’ll Act Better” Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Gong Li, and lots of awesome speed boats.
What's It About? I was born late in the 80s, so from my generational perspective this is about a sweaty unshaven Irishman and the guy from Booty Call as detectives in Miami infiltrating a Florida drug ring. This drug ring happens to be run by a hot Chinese-Cuban drug lady. It also has something to do with a show that starred that dude who sang Heartbeat. All of it is directed by Michael Mann who probably just forgot Michael Bay and himself aren’t the same person.
Will It Suck? This question holds an interesting and complicated dichotomy in it. On one hand you have the man who directed The Insider and Heat. This is the same guy who seemed to have written the book on realistic action and drama. On the other you have a man who understands the meaning of the word foreboding and who hasn’t done good acting for about six years now. Then you have Jamie Foxx, who seemed to just figure out what acting is and that doing it well is possible. (Although if you remember the last time Mann remade a TV project for the cinema, we got Heat. -- Charlie)
Much like a drunken hobo in flames juggling milk jugs full of nitro glycerin, this can either be incredibly entertaining, a recipe for disaster, or both. Personally, I would take a bullet for Michael Mann, especially if it was shot by Al Pacino wanting his good career back. So no matter how bad I think this idea is it’ll always end in. “At least it has awesome speed boats and shotguns.”
Deep down in my heart of hearts I think badness is happening right now.
The Science of SleepThe Cast? Gael Garcia Bernal, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Alain Chabat, and Miou-Miou (Yes, this name sounds like a delicious French cuisine involving condescension and berets to me too.)
What's It About? Since everytime I try to really find out what it's about I get either vague melodramatic descriptions like, "It's about a man struggling with a world of dreams...and he dreams because he can't love," or I get Michel Gondry unable to say anything but "dreams" for about eight sentences, I'm going to go ahead and assume this is about a guy having wacky dreams and dealing with it somehow. I have no idea who these people in the cast are, but upon further investigation find that they're mostly Mexican and French. I know you're expecting a horrible untimely joke involving burritos and/or lack of bathing, but I'm not a monster.
Plus I can't think of a good one.
Will It Suck? Michel Gondry is pretty incredible when it comes to imagination and all around visuals. That said, I can't be positive what will happen when you give him the pen as well as the camera. The only actual films he's ever done were written by Charlie Kauffman, so it's not like Gondry has ever had to tackle a narrative questionable in quality. This is also probably one of the biggest geek friendly plots I have ever heard, that being of a man who has problems with a woman because his dreams are too fantastical. All he'd have to do is throw bad internet clichés like ninjas and Chuck Norris in the mix and you'd have every fanboy this side of a disgruntled talkback getting all fuzzy inside.
Judging from this clip, the film is either genius or insanity. I've always been partial to the whole "whimsical dreams" or "wild imagination" angle films like Millions or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind have taken, but I also realize that right around the corner of something like this can be a lot of pretension and annoyance. This film also won't work unless the lead is either very charming or just down right pathetic, and without much knowledge of Gael Garcia Bernal I can't be sure what to expect.
I'll probably see this film as soon as I can, if not just to wonder at the crazy stuff Gondry comes up with in terms of the dream sequences.
FearlessThe Cast? Jet Li, Nakamura Shidou, Dong Yong, and Colin Chou
What's It About? Jet Li kicks things! Well, that's not what it's all about, but that's the primary plot point. The secondary one is that he kicks things while pretending to be someone important and who is strangely similar to Fong Sai-Yuk and Wong Fei-Hung (you know they all look the same, don't act like you don't!) . This time around Jet Li plays China's somewhat famous martial artist named Huo Yuan-Jia, who kicked a whole bunch of foreigner's asses when China was getting invaded by a sudden cultural shift from people like the bloodthirsty Dutch. Meanwhile, Masato Harada plays his exact same character from The Last Samurai and tries to be a super evil Japanese man that, like all Japanese, tries to cheat his way to victory, ultimately attempting to pearl Jet Li's harbor.
Will It Suck? I was already able to take a gander at this flick, and considering this is Jet Li's last outing into the world of martial arts on film, it's not a horrible note to leave off on. For the first forty minutes Jet Li does what he does best and beats the living hell out of people. Somewhere in between it takes a hard 180 from playful and upbeat to absolutely dismal and serious. I'm still not sure if this was actually a good thing, but by the time this happened things were almost over anyway. The plot and story is rather thin and the movie as a whole moves very quick, but Woo-Ping Yuen's always great action choreography covers most of that up with what is probably some of his best work. I'm not sure if you can credit Ronny Yu for making any of this interesting, but I suppose the film looks rather sharp. I'm just slow to thank him for anything after the incredible back to back presentations of Freddy vs. Jason and Formula 51.
If you're also expecting some of the acting Jet Li portrayed rather subtlety in Danny the Dog then you're probably going to be a bit disappointed. I think the most acting he did in this was laugh really loud, get really jealous, and be really mournful and quiet for the last thirty minutes or so. Still, the film ends on a good beat that would be hard to top for his last kick and punch flick.
If this is truly his last go around, I guess we'll all be staring at Tony Jaa leaping between elephants and doing crazy shit for the next couple of years instead.
What does the rest of the TFL crew have to say?
Andrew Clarke
Miami Vice: Remove the title and this is one of the most exciting prospects of the year. Remove Michael Mann and you have one of the worst ideas in history. As it is Colin Farrell has terrible facial hair.
The Science Of Sleep: Gael is sexy and Gondry gets my vote after Eternal Sunshine. But this time he's without writer Kaufman and so, because I'm hungover, i predict this will be a pretentious mess of wank.
Fearless: People punching people. People who care will argue as to whether that punch was better in this or Unleashed or Once Upon a Time In China or Once Upon A Time In China 2 or...
George Merchan
Miami Vice: Michael Mann... Collateral... Heat... The Insider... If you don't know, now you know. The rumors of Vice's troubled shoot have been swirling, but if X-Men 3 can miraculously come away as an entertaining piece of fluff after its own plagued production, than hope remains for the tropical crime drama. In the plus column, Vice has the added benefit of having one of today's best working directors at the helm. Don't disappoint me now!
The Science of Sleep: Michel Gondry and Gael Garcia Bernal team up to make me salivate. Andrew might be right about the pretentious wank thing, though. But still, these guys have earned the benefit of the doubt from me.
Fearless: Asians hitting each other with more grace than Kelly are usually never dull. Unfortunately, I have little else to add. The people at IMDb seem to like. That might not be a good thing, though.
Bill Nolen
Miami Vice: What is the target audience for this? The middle-aged men and their unlucky spouses who watched the show in its original run, or the youngsters who like Farrell and Foxx but have no idea that the brand name should mean something to them? I like Michael Mann films in my gut, but not in my heart.
The Science of Sleep: Heady sci-fi/fantasy movies usually work better at home, where multiple viewings can make the overall experience more rewarding. The days of seeing a film in the theater more than once or twice are over, high gas prices and all. That reminds me, I keep meaning to go back and watch Director Michael Gondry's previous effort, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, because I want to figure out why people liked it so much.
Fearless: Jet Li stars in his last film and Ronny Yu directs. If I need to say any more about the amount of ass this movie will kick, I'll...I don't know. It would just really suck if I had to say any more about it.
Katanga
Miami Vice: Mann doing tough, off-the-rail cops is pretty much a sure thing. The only thing is there is no such thing as a sure thing. The dialogue, the badly-coiffed Irish, and the use of Linkin Park tell me something silly is afoot.
The Science of Sleep: Looking at this lineup of films...pretentious wank will be a sorely needed antidote.
Fearless: I was really hoping this was Fearless 2 with Jeff Bridges reprising his role as a traumatized airplane crash survivor...OUT FOR REVENGE. Against airplanes. And he punches them.
Charlie Brigden
Miami Vice: My most anticipated film of the summer. Love the trailers, love Michael Mann, who I think is as close to a sure thing as they come these days. All I can think of is the last time Mann converted his TV property into a movie, and we got Heat.
The Science of Sleep: I'd like to see this. As long as it's not quirky.
Fearless: Jet Li made his best non-Chinese flick with Unleashed, so I'm eager to see what's coming from him. Continue reading Summer Preview 2006 - Part 5
Nerd Gets Angry About Portrayal of Toy
Ain't It Cool News has scooped some photos of some of the cars that will be used in Michael Bay's Transformers. They include Bumblebee as a Camaro, Bumblebee as a pimped out Camaro, a Decepticon police car and a tank. TFL's official reaction to these photos is 'Fuck Snakes On A Plane'.
There's just too much in these photos alone to adequately convey how awesome this film will be.
First up, and probably the only time I will ever get pissy about deviating from the source material, Bumblebee is a Volkswagan Beetle. He's a Minibot. But Bay has made him a Camaro. What exactly is Bay's idea of small that a Camaro is a minibot?
Next up, Bumblebee apparently gets pimped up (see above pic) during the course of the film - an event just bursting with subtext. After all, it's Bumblebee himself that's getting pimped, not just his ride. It's like a comment on plastic surgery addiction, identity-as-surface, and the violence of fashion. Well, it would be if Michael Bay dealt in metaphors. The only metaphors in Bay movies are 'this Lambourghini is my cock', 'see that explosion? that's my cock' and 'my latest cock cost $120m'.
The Decepticon police car carries the inscription 'To Punish And Enslave' next to a big decpeticon logo. This is an example of Michael Bay being subtle. Because it involves reading.
No word yet on whether the logo is heat sensitive.
That every vehicle seems like a swaggering custom built penis extension seems to get in the way of the idea that these are 'robots in disguise' and so are trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. But then that would get in the way of the cars being penis entensions, wouldn't it Michael. Then again, maybe in Bayworld, swaggering custom built cockcars ARE inconspicuous.
It goes on and on, and as more and more media is released over the coming year before the film's release, it is only going to get better. This is the meeting of a film-maker who only includes characters in his films so they can drive cars and a property where the cars ARE the characters. It is the Gatekeeper and the Keymaster. It is future-Ron Silver and past-Ron Silver. It is whatever the hell it is that happens to that kid at the end of Akira. It is entirely fucking awesome and will show minor-league chancers like Snakes On A Plane what Hollywood stupidity really is. Transformers is the real deal: a tent-pole picture, obscenely expensive, drowning in A-list talent and utterly, utterly dumb. What puts it over the top is that many will be taking it very seriously. As if it might, you know, be good.The Fake Life promises to keep covering Transformers however we can, if only to prove that the only difference between Hollywood satire and Hollywood reality is $100m.
Source: Ain't It Cool News Continue reading Nerd Gets Angry About Portrayal of Toy
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Aronofsky. The Fountain. October. It's Happening, People.
And it's about goddamn time!
Darren Aronofsky, mastermind behind Pi and Requiem for a Dream will finally get to unleash his sci-fi epic, The Fountain, on Friday the 13th of October. If word of mouth is to be believed, this should in fact be a very lucky day for sci-fi fans and film buffs alike.
For the unfamiliar (shame on you), from IMDb: "Spanning over one thousand years, and three parallel stories, The Fountain is a story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of our existence in this world."
And for those who haven't seen it, or would like to see it again (it is pretty neato), here's the trailer in multiple delicious Apple flavors.
Source: Warner Bros.
Continue reading Aronofsky. The Fountain. October. It's Happening, People.
Who Are You Again?
You know, I pretty much forgot Michael Myers even existed anymore. Somewhere between Goldmember and Cat in the Hat he just kind of shifted into obscurity for me. The only reason I remember him after the Austin Powers flicks, was because his makeup in Cat in the Hat reminded me that there is no God. Look at that picture and prove me wrong. That image is the thing of nightmares.
Well, even though I hoped Myers had simply been swallowed by his own mediocrity and obscurity, he has apparently been able to live on and even get taken in by a few movie deals. The latest is reported The Hollywood Reporter as being a "self-help comedy" about a self-help guru, played by Myers, that tries to fix a couple's relationship. Apparently the character was made in the same process that Austin Powers went through. I care about absoultely none of this, by the way. I remember seeing Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and being amused the first time, but culture and the internet has its way of running this stuff into the ground. By the time the third one had come out my tolerance level for all things Austin Powers was in the negative.That's not all for Myers, though, as he is also doing an adpatation of the book How to Survive a Robot Uprising, which is a book that really doesn't need a film adaptation. He'll also be making us wish there was a God for a change and that he would just stop all this crazy shit when he reprises his role in the animated horror Shrek the Third.
Alright, I'm done with this post. I need to have a drink after realizing Mike Myers is still getting work and my best accomplisment to date is eating 25 chili hot dogs in one night.
Source: The Hollywood Reporter Continue reading Who Are You Again?
Yay! We Can Anticipate Comic Movies Again!
With Superman Returns right around the corner, geeks really don't have much of anything to drench their lavish, obsessive, and ultimately unneeded attention over until its release. What's everyone going to look forward to, Ghost Rider?
Well, don't worry true believer, because you can now meticulously obsess over the simple set pictures for the ever interesting Spider-Man 3 that Dark Horizons has gathered up from all over the place. Look! Sam Raimi's wearing a suit! And Tobey Maguire looks really sleepy while wearing shorts. Bryce Dallas Howard looks kind of cute, and James Cromwell is slowly melting. I'm sure a lot of the more enthusiastic fans of the series will start putting together ridiculous theories because of what seems like otherwise straightforward set pictures. "Tobey Maguire's wearing shorts, so he must be going to the beach! This means sand! Sandman! There's no doubt he'll be in the film now!"Really, the only thing that the set pictures might show is that production is really in full swing, and that is rather encouraging. After the slump that X3 has put everyone in, it's nice to have a little hope in what superhero films might bring. Superman Returns and Spider-Man 3 will probably keep things alive for the superhero genre. What happens after those two, however, is yet to be seen. I for one am kind of ready for the huge superhero film thing to slow down for awhile while everyone gets their senses back together. That won't happen, but hey, one can hope.
Spider-Man 3 is currently set for a May 4th, 2007 release date here in the states, and sports a fancy cast. So mark your calendars and wear the movie out with your discussions before it even gets here!
Source: Dark Horizons Continue reading Yay! We Can Anticipate Comic Movies Again!
Hey Everyone! He's Fucking Crazy!
Remember the good old days when Mel Gibson was just a crazy bastard who looked really mean next to Danny Glover and fought midgets and Tina Turner? Those were the amusing days before he decided to torture Jesus. They were full of love and fun, and a lot of blood and punching. Why, I remember as a young boy watching Gary Busey and him square off and growl and act crazy together. How I mourn for those times.Now we have psycho director Gibson, which isn't really as fun. He has his moments, but most of that wacky charm has kind of worn off. Though pictures like the one featured here gives me hope. It also gives me hilarious images, like a bearded Mel Gibson laughing manically and dancing on set for no discernable reason whatsoever and yelling, “They take it up the ass!”
Does this have anything to do with this news piece? No, not really. But Mel Gibson’s new film Apocalypto doesn’t seem to be mustering an opinion out of me at all, mostly because of the little info about it, so I’m forced to think of some sort of inane filler in order to keep your attention. The premise of the film sounds interesting, but has a little bit of a pretentious flair to it. I like historical dramas as much as the next guy (Go get the Kingdom of Heaven: Director’s Cut right now! And hey, why don’t you do it through TFL?) and don’t mind reading a whole host of subtitles, but the idea of doing a film in the native language of the Mayans sounds a little more annoying than authentic. I hope to be proved wrong, though.
While you wait for the film and its story of a Mayan man adventuring and actioning his way through the last years of his civilization, you can look at this pretty one sheet. It’s better than most but it’s not exactly leaping out at me.
Source: Touchstone Pictures Continue reading Hey Everyone! He's Fucking Crazy!
News Round-Up: 5/31/06
We love all movie news here, even the really crappy stuff no-one gives a shit about. So for all the news no-one can be bothered to write a whole story about, here is The News Round-Up!
First up, Uma Thurman is wasting her life again making another romantic comedy. This one is called The Accidental Husband and will not involve her showing her tits, killing people or acting. The film is about a pyschologist who forgets she is married and will hopefully be directed by werewolf-dinner Griffin Dunne, which at least gets the interestometer flickering. This film isn't even listed on IMDB yet. Take that how you will.Source: Variety
Chris Tucker will be starring in a film that isn't Rush Hour 3 that is about a gangster that hides his naughty lifestyle from his mother by pretending to be a doctor. This really couldn't get any worse unless the mother was played by Martin Lawrence. The one single interesting thing here is that it is an adaptation of a Bollywood movie, which is the first time Hollywood has ever done such a thing. This is not to say it will be any good: Bollywood films, like video games have, once you strip away their idiosyncracies, pretty crappy stories, more often than not ripped-off from crappy hollywood films in the first place. It would get points if Chris started a song and dance number in the middle of a shoot out. The name of the film to avoid is Gangster MD.Source: Times Online
Unfunny funsters Broken Lizard will take another pay day by making Take My Wife..., a movie about wife swapping and celebrity and, now, a lot of unfunny jokes. The only reason to see Dukes of Hazzard is to see that woman's fantastic rack and the only reason to see their other films is the ego-stroke from realising you are funnier than people who make actual movies. The one interesting thing about this story is that untalented people continue to get work, so giving us all hope.Source: Variety Continue reading News Round-Up: 5/31/06
Please, Die Hard, NOW
I don't know if it's just me, but I think a new Die Hard is a really bad idea. For a start, Bruce Willis is just too long in the tooth to make it, although it would be damn fun if they set it in a retirement home where he has to get over his incontinence and Alzheimer's to combat terrorists.However, the prospect of another adventure starring John McClane just got a lot worse, at least according to The Hollywood Reporter, who are towing the line that Len Wiseman is in talks to direct Die Hard 4.0. Len. Wiseman. Let me just say that again: LEN. WISEMAN. For people not in the know, Wiseman is the genius who took the shallow-but-fun RPG-esque concept of a war between werewolves and vampires and managed to fuck it up in his two awful celluloid shitstains Underworld and Underworld: Evolution.
If he takes it, Wiseman - who is married to Kate Beckinsale - will direct the film based on a screenplay by Mark Bomback and Doug Richardson, two guys who have between them written very few good movies, but then again, when has that ever stopped Hollywood?
Still, just for the sake of it, here's Kate Beckinsale!
Source: The Hollywood Reporter
Continue reading Please, Die Hard, NOW
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Geek Pin-Up #1: Caroline Munro
It's high time for a new feature here at TFL, so let me introduce the latest addition to the group marked "things we don't update,": the TFL Geek Pin-Up of the Day.
#1 - CAROLINE MUNRO
A Bond girl, a Hammer horror vixen, and a low-budget sci-fi queen rolled into one, Caroline Munro has long been famous in the geek world for her long black hair, her ability to appear in quite a lot of crap, but is mostly widely known for her cleavage. Beginning as a walk-on actress, she hit it big as the poster girl for Lamb's Navy Rum, appearing in a variety of tight costumes in print all around the world, and while she appeared in non-speaking roles in Vincent Price's Dr. Phibes movies, she started to get notice in cinema in her Hammer movies, such as Dracula A.D. 1972 and the glorious Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter.
This led on to her appearance in a big geek favourite, 1974's The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, before taking on the role which would cement her in the history of cinema, as Naomi, the bikini-wearing helicopter-flying chick who gets blown up by Roger Moore in The Spy Who Loved Me. This unfortunately didn't lead to bigger things - unless you think Starcrash, with David Hassellhoff - is a big thing.
Still, we salute her, as you all should, thus why she's today's Geek Pin-Up of the Day. Continue reading Geek Pin-Up #1: Caroline Munro
Thank You, Avi. Thank You.
After I saw X-Men: The Last Stand, my friends and I were quite fearful. The film, not being very good, leaves off on some horrible notes that suggest a sequel of some sort. Knowing Hollywood being the hungry vending machine that gives you a really pretty box with nothing inside for about 7 dollars, I was sure that the film would make enough money to rationalize a sequel. Then again, the film is shorter than some TV specials and costs about a gajillion dollars, so the gamble might not be worth it.I had of course heard earlier that this was the last movie, but anything will be made if it seemed somewhat profitable (and it probably will be on DVD). It had also been mentioned that the producers could envision it as being a trilogy and that, much like Star Wars (because that worked out really well), another trilogy could be made later with a whole new story arc. Consider myself releaved when Avi Arad says that the studio and everyone else is sticking to keeping the wacky adventures of the X-Men finished...at least for now.
Dark Horizons reports that "Savvy" Avi Arad won't be pushed to make another X-Men flick, and instead will focus on the two spin-offs from the series. "The first reaction, which we should discard, is here comes 'X-Men 4'. We're working on 'Wolverine,' which is definitely a continuation, and we have a very interesting script about a young Magneto."
Both those projects could be intriguing, but if Wolverine still involves Len Wiseman then we'll all be in a lot of pain. And I hope when they pitched the Magneto movie Arad confidently stated, "It's like Schindler's List...but with mutants," and then gave a thumbs up and pointed at his X-Men: The Last Stand hat.
Source: Dark Horizons Continue reading Thank You, Avi. Thank You.
Bay Excited About Giant Robots and Huge Explosions, No One Really Surprised
There is something about Michael Bay's enthusiasm with the big and loud that makes me all warm inside. Much like a frantic child opening his Christmas presents filled with toys of the bombastic variety, Bay praises and gives quick frantic descriptions like, "They look so deadly and mean," or "They fly like aliens dropping out of the sky!" The playthings he seems so excited about are a lot of the military aircraft that'll be in Transformers: The Movie ( also rumored to be called Transformers: Prime Directive, which sounds pretty bad, but I'm not expecting the greatest film ever here).Bay posted all this information on his blog. The post consists of little bits of knowledge on the first week of shooting. Along with informing us of the military involvement, he also mentions Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel are playing NAVY Seals. Overall the post is pretty general and only gives us the obvious inkling that there will be a lot of big flashy things and missiles and shit. And that it will be awesome.
I’m not a Bay fan, but I find him rather harmless except to the really, really dumb who for some reason would think his films are good artistic expression. Yes, I’m surprised these people exist, but they do. Michael Bay’s movies are the kind you watch on rainy Sunday afternoons when you don’t have anything to do. The Rock will blare onto the screen and you’ll say, “At least Ed Harris is in it,” and give it a go before you take a nap. You’ll have fun, but forget about the experience until next time it comes on and you’re bored.
I actually think this only applies to one or two of his films, because Pearl Harbor is insultingly bad and The Island is hilariously bad, mostly because Bay is trying to impatiently hold his explosive load, and when he finally is able to let it go it blindly spews for something like 45 minutes.
I don’t expect Transformers to be something revolutionary, but being a fan of the toys and cartoons when I was younger allows me to expect to enjoy myself to some degree. Big robots stomping things will have a lot of amusement to it, but no more insight thematically or artistically then most Godzilla flicks. Bay will probably be able to pull that off, because it’s what he does best, but like all his other films it will be quite forgettable and glossy.
Source: MichaelBay.com Continue reading Bay Excited About Giant Robots and Huge Explosions, No One Really Surprised
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Cannes you dig it?
After a little over a week of screenings, wacky Frenchness, and "Jean Reno" scaring people silly with his sudden nationalistic love of rape, the Cannes Film Festival has come to a close. With that, the winners have been announced and the losers sent a package of crepes.
Palme d'Or: "The Wind That Shakes The Barley" by Ken Loach
Grand Prix (runner-up): "Flanders" by Bruno Dumont
Prix de la Mise en Scene (Best Director): Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for "Babel"
Prix du Scenario (Best Screenplay Award): Pedro Almodovar for "Volver"
Camera d'Or (For best first feature): "A Fost sau n-a fost?" (12:08 East of Bucharest) by Corneliu Porumbolu
Prix du Jury (Jury Prize): "Red Road" by Andrea Arnold
Prix d'interpretation feminine (Best Actress): Ensemble female cast of "Volver" by Pedro Almodovar (Penelope Cruz, Carmen Maura, Lola Duenas, Blanca Portillo, Yohana Cobo, Chus Lampreave)
Prix d'interpretation masculine (Best Actor): Ensemble male cast of "Indigenes" by Rachid Bouchareb (Jamel Debbouze, Samy Naceri, Sami Bouajila, Roschdy Zem, Bernard Blancan)
Court-Metrage (Short Film): Palme d'Or (short film): "Sniffer" by Bobby Peers
Prix Du Jury: "Premiera Nieve" by Pablo Aguero
Special Mention: "Conte de quartier" by Florence Miaihe
----------
UN CERTAIN REGARD
Prix Un Certain Regard - Fondation Gan Pour le Cinema: "Luxury Car" by Wang Chao
Prix Special du Jury Un Certain Regard: "Ten Canoes" by Rolf De Heer
Prix d'Interpretation Un Certain Regard (acting award): Dorotheea Petre for "The Way I Spent the End of the World" (Cum Mi-Am Petrecut Sfarsitul Lumii) by Catalin Mitulescu
Prix d'Interpretation Un Certain Regard (acting award): Don Angel Tavira for "El Violin" by Francisco Vargas
Prix du President du Jury Un Certain Regard: Patrick Grandperret for "Meurtrieres"
----------
CINEFONDATION
Premier Prix: "Ge & Zeta" by Gustavo Riet
Second Prize: "Mr Schwartz, Mr. Hazen & Mr. Horlocker" by Stefan Mueller
Third Prize (shared): "Mother" by Sian Heder and "A Virus" by Agnes Kocsis
Source: AICN Continue reading Cannes you dig it?
Spidee Pikchurz!
A scooper for AICN got some on-set snaps from Spider-Man 3. There's a peek at Capt. Stacy, Gwen Stacy, and Topher Grace looking all Brockish.
Head on over there for more pictures of the crazy filmic happenings.
Source: AICN Continue reading Spidee Pikchurz!
