Friday, June 16, 2006
Stan Winston Produces Groundhog Day: The Horror Movie
Stan Winston is a cool cat and has been a touchstone of geek moviedom for quite a long time now (Terminator, Predator, Pumpkinhead). His production company, aptly titled Stan Winston Productions, is going to be tackling a new horror mystery called The Death of Ians, which totally sounds like Groundhog Day (hence the above picture - LOL, I'm so clever!) minus all that feel good stuff and life lessons crap.
"Mike Vogel (Poseidon) has been tapped to star with Dario Piana at the helm. Vogel plays the title character in the story about an all-American guy who is murdered only to wake up each day in a slightly different life and experience another terrifying end. Winston will produce with Brian Gilbert and Ralph Camp. Piana is directing from a script by Brendan Hood."
The film is being budgeted at $10 million, which is such a nice and refreshingly low number to hear nowadays.
The last film that fell under Winston's production banner was Wrong Turn, a flick worth watching solely for the one-two hotness punch of Eliza Dushku and Emmanuelle Chriqui. The next film to be seen under that banner will be Skinwalkers, which already reminds me of Teen Wolf. WTF? Continue reading Stan Winston Produces Groundhog Day: The Horror Movie
It Really Should've Been Called Doom
And I now suddenly wanna buy a million copies of Sky High.
"ComingSoon.net has your exclusive first look at the one-sheet for Columbia Pictures' Zoom, hitting theaters this August. Directed by Pete Hewitt, the superhero comedy stars Tim Allen, Courteney Cox, Chevy Chase, Spencer Breslin, Rip Torn, Kate Mara, Michael Cassidy and Ryan Newman.
In the Revolution Studios film, Allen plays Jack, formerly Captain Zoom, an out-of-shape former superhero who has lost his powers. Jack is reluctantly called back into action to turn a ragtag group of kids into a new generation of superheroes and save the world from certain destruction."
Die, Tim Allen.
Source: ComingSoon.net Continue reading It Really Should've Been Called Doom
Fond Memories Of Fantasy Movie 'May Have Been The Weed'
AICN has posted a promotional flyer for the sequel to 'great if you're eight' hippy fantasy The Dark Crystal, called The Power Of The Dark Crystal, which at least doesn't have a '2' in it, I guess. So let's get the important things out of the way first: yes I really like the film. I believe it understands the timeless quality of fairytales as well as the metaphorical underpinnings of fantasy in a way that Labyrinth utterly fails to, regardless of the Connelly and Bowie bumps on show. Just to make clear: anyone you encounter, including yourself, who says they prefer Labyrinth to The Dark Crystal should be slapped firmly but unnaggressively until they understand. If they think Crash is better than Magnolia too then just kill them. Right: on to the sequel!
It's being directed by Genndy Tartovsky, which is awesome news for anyone who's seen the Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoons and they are still using actual physical puppets, which is awesome news for anyone who's seen the Star Wars prequels. The story is set quite some time after the original and revolves around a mysterious young gelfing who must remove a shard from the now-restored Dark Crystal in order to save a dying sun. This is made interesting because the original was specifically about making the shattered crystal whole.
Because fantasy stories are always metaphorical. The Ring of Power is a catch-all metaphor for any number of potentially corrupting influences, from industry to nuclear energy to plain old greed. The problem comes when imitators merely see that there's this powerful thing that everyone is after and just put a random thingy in their story to drive the plot - to save the kingdom of 'pretty name with lots of vowels' we must destroy/return the thingy of 'portentious name with too many consonants in'. Meaning is lost, replaced only with detail. The obsession with detail irrespective of context is, unfortunately, a symptom of certain types of autism.
The Dark Crystal's metaphor was the pleasantly woolly ying/yang one of the trouble you get into when you try and enforce arbitrary divisions upon life (and this can be mapped onto good/evil, mind/body, Capitalist/Communist and so on). Peace and harmony comes from accepting that we are all part of the same whole. Dude. The sequel now seeks to seperate the dark crystal again, so possibly undermining the entire point of the original film. Is this a deliberate reversal to reflect upon the current need for goodies vs baddies in this climate of 'the war on terror'? Is the dying sun a metaphor for industry and the film a call to give up inner peace and work selflessly to keep the furnaces burning? Or is it the result of someone desperately trying to come up with a plot after the perfectly self-contained original?
'Hey,' they thought. 'The first was about healing the crystal, right? So in the sequel the heroes have to break it! What a twist!' - thus making the crystal just another thingy to hang a tedious plot around.
At the moment I'm just hoping they spend enough time on it to make it look like more than just a glorified tv movie. But let's be upbeat and hope for a pleasant surprise come Spring 2008 or, for those with kids, a film with the same dreamy pace as the original to put the little fuckers to sleep after the ADD hysteria of most modern kiddie fare.
Source: AICN Continue reading Fond Memories Of Fantasy Movie 'May Have Been The Weed'
Boaz Be Yakin All Up On Crom
I love Conan the Barbarian. Love it. It's not a great film by any means, but it's one of the few films from my childhood that I can still enjoy immensely now as an adult and still get something out of. Namely, tits. And a wonderful musical score. But mostly tits. Conan the Destroyer, not so much. But I still own it. And watch it. Often.
Anyway, evidently Conan the Barbarian is gonna get the redo treatment courtesy of Warner Bros.
The sounds you're currently hearing are the lamentations of nerds.
"Warner Bros. Pictures has set Boaz Yakin to write and potentially direct Conan the Barbarian, a new take on the Robert E. Howard-created character."Boaz Yakin is probably best known for the film Fresh, which I hear is pretty good. But since I haven't seen it, I'm going to instead point out his other, more recent works like Uptown Girls and Remember the Titans. He also wrote The Punisher (the one with Dolph Lundgren), The Rookie, and From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (DTV). And I guess he was supposedly going to direct the feature version of Batman Beyond back whenever that was apparently a good idea. Here's more:
"The studio is eyeing an early 2007 production start for the film, which will be produced by Irving Azoff, Jon Jashni, Richard Alexander and Akiva Goldsman. Peter Sederowsky and Fredrik Malmberg of Paradox Entertainment, the intellectual property company that controls rights to the Howard estate, executive produce."
Assuming this "new take" doesn't go the way of the Dodo like the projects involving John Milius, the Wachowski siblings, Robert Rodriguez, and of course, our current California governor, it'll be interesting to see who WB seriously considers worthy of wielding the Atlantean sword. Vin Diesel? The Rock? Karl Urban? Marc Singer? Only time and many, many restarts will tell.
I will own that sword, by the way. If for no other reason than to strike a pose like in the pic above.
Good Lord I'm gay.
Source: Variety Continue reading Boaz Be Yakin All Up On Crom
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Summer Preview 2006 - Part 7
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's ChestThe Cast? Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley-Merchan, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgård, and Jonathan Pryce.
What's It About? Pirates! Doing piratey things! What'd you think?
Will It Suck? Most likely not. But here's the thing for me. I really didn't like the first Pirates of the Caribbean. Apart from Depp's magnetic (if a bit overrated) performance and Keira's breathtaking visage, I found the film to be tedious and overlong. It had its fun moments, no doubt. But there was still something missing there that kept me from embracing it the way most of fandom apparently did.
What does this have to do with Dead Man's Chest? Well, in my eyes, it's gonna have its worked cut out to impress me and/or keep me entertained this time around. Fortunately, the latest trailer for the film DID impress me with its pretty spectacular effects, witty and fun dialogue (Swann: "There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing." Sparrow: "I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by."), and of course, a hint of the almost always awesome KRAKEN.
So basically, I have no clue whether it'll suck or not. I like what I saw in the trailer, though. I heart Johnny Depp, I want Keira Knightley, and Orlando Bloom has gone from a "just sorta there" actor to someone I actually really enjoy watching (thanks to Elizabethtown and Kingdom of Heaven).
I'll be there opening weekend. Arrr?
Harsh TimesThe Cast? Christian "RACHEL!!!!!!!!!" Bale, Freddy "Hi, I fondled Anne Hathaway's rack" Rodriguez, and Eva "Hi, I want George Merchan to fondle my rack" Longoria.
What's It About? Christian Bale (Empire of the Sun, Batman Begins) stars as an ex-Army Ranger who finds himself back in Los Angeles where he begins to slip into a life of petty crime after a job offer from the LAPD evaporates. Freddy Rodriguez (Six Feet Under, Havoc) plays his best friend and Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives, The Sentinel) plays Rodriguez's girlfriend. The times are, apparently, a bit harsh as well.
Will It Suck? Interesting question. My hopes are that it won't (and really, if you're any kind of a genuine film fan, you'll never actively hope for a film to suck... though I do recall saying that I hoped Snakes on a Plane would suck... so yeah, I'm a giant hypocrite) but I could very well be totally wrong. On the one hand, you've got Christian Bale, possibly one of my favorite actors working today. And then, you've got my little hometown as the backdrop... Los Angeles. In fact, here's a part of a quote I read from writer/director David Ayer that really prompted my initial interest for this film: "I want this to be as authentic as possible and let the streets and people speak for themselves. This is a movie about the guys I grew up with and about the L.A. I know."
Though Ayer was born in Illinois, he evidently spent many of his younger years growing up in South Central Los Angeles, an area of L.A. that's become infamous for crime and overall shadiness over the years. I know I'm biased, but I can't not be completely interested in films that explore the cultural and/or social elements of Los Angeles. It's a place rich with so much variety that it's a perfect setting to explore the more subversive elements of what makes the inhabitants what they are, especially in relation to the rest of the country. Of course, I'm jumping the gun here. I may be giving Ayer too much credit, 'cause I honestly don't know what the hell he chose to explore with Harsh Times. But there's a nice potential there, and that excites me.
Now, on the other hand... it's David Ayer. Best known for writing "the not as good as everyone makes it out to be" Training Day (Narc is an INFINITELY better film that deals with the same themes). He's also responsible for U-571, The Fast and the Furious, Dark Blue, S.W.A.T., and an impending remake of Sam Peckinpah's classic The Wild Bunch (?!). I don't know. That filmography is suspect in my eyes. Also, word from last year's Tornoto Film Festival was rather mixed, with everything from people proclaiming it to be the BEST. FILM. EVAH. to those saying it was a travesty against celluloid. How can I compete with such hyperbole? I don't. The way I see it, it's got three things that interest me: Christian Bale, Los Angeles, and Eva Longoria's ass. And that's enough for me.
World Trade CenterThe Cast? Nicolas Cage, Micheal Pena, Jay Hernandez, Maria Bello, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
What's It About? 9/11. Duh.
Will It Suck? What can I say? I think a film that tackles a subject still so fresh in the minds of so many Americans is going to face heavy scrutiny no matter what. United 93 faced it, but it ultimately walked away a success, and in turn, a victory for filmmakers. Critically, it did great and is among one of the best films of the year. The film's quasi-documentary approach to telling the tale of the people who died aboard Flight 93 did a lot in assuaging the concerns some people had with how the film would handle the subject matter.
But the problem with WTC is a little more complicated than that. What United 93 faced was essentially skepticism in why that story should be told, especially when told in a semi-factualized fashion. WTC is approaching the events of 9/11 as a full-on dramatization. At least, that's what the early word has led people to believe. And judging from the recently released trailer, it's definitely angling for sentimentality in a very overt and conscious way.
The real question is: Is there anything wrong with that?
Forget the fact that this is a film by Oliver Stone (a director notorious for toying with conspiracy theories and alt. history in his films) for a moment. What makes World Trade Center an important film, like United 93, is that it calls out the following: What responsibilty does film as an artform have towards its audience? Is it merely a reflection of cultural times and the ideas and beliefs therein? Does film have a responsibilty to explore human themes by whatever means necessary? People might be singing the praises of United 93 while touting WTC as maudlin pap at the moment, but I wonder if a film taking that approach is really such a bad thing. Lest of course it goes the route of, say, Pearl Harbor... but I'm gonna give Stone a bit more credit than that.
World Trade Center, whether it's a failure or not, will undoubtedly be one of the more important films of the year. And though I think it a somewhat irrelevant element in the grand scheme or in the broader implications, WTC does have the added benefit of having one of the great directors of the last 20-25 years at the helm (despite of what you may have thought of Alexander).
If that isn't enough reason to see this, than I honestly don't know what to say.
Oh wait. Fuck you? Yeah, that's it.
What does the rest of the TFL crew have to say?
Bill Nolen
POTC - Dead Man's Chest: The only movie I'm really excited about this summer. I'll see Superman, probably, but this is the one I'm prepared to enjoy completely. Bring on more drunk-acting Johnny Depp!
Harsh Times: After watching Bale's well-worded and earnest acceptance speech at the MTV Movie Awards the other day and realizing that it was probably all sarcasm on his part, I'm now dedicated to watching everything the man does, film-wise. Preach on, brother Christian. I'm listening. This guy IS Batman.
World Trade Center: The trailer looks so anti-Oliver Stone. Is the hashish finally melting the man's brain? I expect political monologues from Stone, not heartwarming disaster films. I hope I'm wrong about this one.
__________
Charlie Brigden
POTC - Dead Man's Chest: I'll see it, but nothing has got me interested so far. The trailer looked so artificial, but then I seem to be in a minority about this.
Harsh Times: This sounds terrible. I've liked Bale in everything he's done bar Batman, but this sounds like grade-Z Hollywood bullshit. And don't give me that 'but he wrote Training Day!' shit, because that movie is half as great as everyone thinks it is.
World Trade Center: Remember when Nicolas Cage and Oliver Stone made good movies?
__________
Andrew Clarke
POTC - Dead Man's Chest: Without Johnny Depp, the first film would not be noticeably better than Cutthroat Island. With Johnny Depp it is awesome. And Gore Verbinski is one of Hollywood's best mainstream film-makers. Any qualities this film does have, however, will have to be balanced by all the obnoxious marketing overkill and wankers saying 'ARRR' we'll get when it's released.
Harsh Times: Dude, Training Day had Eva Mendes naked in it.
World Trade Center: The more crass and deeply mediocre movies we get about 9/11 the less sacred and politically manipulable an event it will be. Honestly, I'm hoping this will be a truly tasteless unintentional comedy of cliches, stereotypes and happy endings.
__________
Shane Yaroch
POTC - Dead Man's Chest: I don't need to tell anybody how fun the first movie is. Everybody saw it, and everybody is going to see this, and it's probably going to be very fun. How's that for commentary?
Harsh Times: This has a really good cast, and I'm really glad that Freddy Rodriguez is getting more jobs, because his work on Six Feet Under is really stellar. Bale is one of the best actors of any generation, and though Training Day was weak and the story here sounds weaker, I'm actuallly going to trust his script-picking decisions on this and I'll probably catch it in theatres. He's one of a very very small set of actors that warrant that kind of faith.
World Trade Center: This movie looks very very bad, and its problems will only be magnified by the excellence that is United 93's portrayal of the events.
__________
Katanga
POTC - Dead Man's Chest: This looks like completely fun (and benign) summer fare. I love the look of the various monsters. Verbinski is doing a fine job on these.
Harsh Times: I hadn't heard of this so I hit up IMDB for the info. It marks the film directing debut for Ayer who has written such box office hits as Training Day, U-571 and The Fast and the Furious. Um, yeah, pass.
World Trade Center: Very interested in what Oliver Stone could bring to this. I have a hunch this might be his "Stay Out Of Movie Jail" ticket for Alexander, though.
__________
Carlton Stevens
POTC - Dead Man's Chest: Great monster designs, Verbinski is always a reliable director who usually turns out something enjoyable (except The Mexican, which we'll just forget about) and I do miss some simple and fun fare outside of the superhero mold. Only problem is Orlando Bloom is usually very boring in these, but that's probably because Depp overshadows him and I'm always paying attention to Keira Knightley's hotness, so I just get really upset or bored when he shows up.
Harsh Times: I didn't know about this either until now. I perked up at the mention of Bale, and then frowned with Katanga's brief description there. I barely even remember U-571, and Training Day was made by Washington's CRAZZZY (hey everyone, someone's playing a wacky character! Revelation!) performance. Let's not talk about The Fast and the Furious.
Yeah, this might not be too good.
World Trade Center: I really was never that in love with Oliver Stone, at least not to the degree of everyone else. I like his work of course, but I was really, really let down with Alexander. I haven't seen United 93, but I'm going to take a gamble and say Greengrass probably did it better.
Man, this summer sucks ass. Continue reading Summer Preview 2006 - Part 7
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Geek Pin-Up #3: Tanya Roberts
Let there be no doubt that Tanya Roberts is one of the most beautiful AND sexy women to ever stand in front of a movie camera. Beautiful because of striking blue eyes like slivers of topaz and lips that look like two heavenly curves of crushed velvet. Sexy because of the way those eyes burn through the camera lens, then through you, and a voice that resonates like the purring of a contented cat. Then there is the rest of her, which I won't be able to describe with ordinary words.
Tanya first entered my consciousness through an evil little horror film called Tourist Trap. Her part in that film was as one of a few expendable babes, but she was definitely the one I wanted to survive Chuck Connor's maniacal wrath. Then Ms. Roberts spent a couple of years as a second stringer on the TV show Charlie's Angels before catapulting into a million geek hearts as the spunky slave girl Kiri in The Beastmaster. Of course, most of you probably know Tanya best as that golden goddess of the jungle, Sheena. I have to say, even though she made a good impression in that movie (and elicited more than a few joyous "expressions" from male viewers), the movie was not that great. Ted Wass co-starred, after all. But it probably stands as one of the last PG movies to show full-frontal nudity (in the infamous "pond scene"), so that's a positive.
Tanya continued her "clothing optional" crusade in the early 90's with starring roles in a string of erotic thrillers, including Night Eyes (with the vertically-smashed face of Andrew Stevens), Inner Sanctum and Sins of Desire. From there her filmography became a bit foggy until she popped up in the late 90's as Midge Pinciotti (Donna's mom) on That 70's Show.
What an amazing woman. Tanya, my puberty thanks you. Continue reading Geek Pin-Up #3: Tanya Roberts
Indiana Jones And The Inevitability Of Death
The latest rumour to spread about Cocoon 3: Nazi Punchers is that Indy's father, Henry Jones, is being written into the script and Sean Connery is being approached to play him again. This whizzed about the Net late last week after George Lucas mentioned it at an awards dinner in honour of Connery. Nothing new has been added to this rumour over the weekend apart from another 4 days to the gap between Harrison Ford and anything good, but Indiana Jones and Lucas always stir up discussions, So I thought I'd poke my stick in too.
To my great surprise it turns out I am supposed to hate Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. It's just played for laughs you see, Sallah has turned into a buffoon and the father/son stuff is cheesy. It ruined the trilogy and was a completely unnecessary sequel, apparently. These opinions are all very, very wrong.
Indiana Jones is pure pulp. He was, just as Star Wars originally was, created as a harkback to the serial adventures of the 30's. They were designed to be simple, obvious, breakneck and cheesy with cliff-hangers every 15 minutes and predictably drawn characters we know to root for or despise. They weren't about over-arching storylines or secondary world creation as works like Lord Of The Rings were, they were the mischievious little brothers of 'real' dramas.
But where Star Wars committed the terminal sin of starting to take itself and its increasingly detailed world seriously, the Indy films continued in the true serial fashion of delivering fresh and different adventures with only the most basic elements in common. It is a good thing that he wasn't fighting nazis in the 2nd one. It is a good thing that the 3rd one has a much lighter tone. It is OK that they are different.
The problem is that Indiana Jones created it's cheesy pulp hero so perfectly and so iconically that a generation totally fell for him and, fatally, took him seriously. It's this attitude that is leading to all the griping about Lucas not respecting the characters, and it is the same attitude that led to the tedious back-story mongering of the Star Wars prequels.
It is the fans themselves that destroy their most beloved stories, through demanding that weight and profundity be placed on worlds designed to be light and frivolous, rather than watching films that are actually designed to have some meat on them.
We should be happy that Lucas and Spielberg managed to keep Indiana Jones a little bit daft, and we should be happy that there's a chance that there'll be another one, whatever it turns out to be.
That said, Harrison Ford is a crippled old souse. Continue reading Indiana Jones And The Inevitability Of Death
Monday, June 12, 2006
Ratatrailer
With Cars out of the way, the still brilliant animation studio along with always brilliant animation human Brad Bird will now focus their attentions on making fun of the French via vermin in Ratatouille. This is already a mazillion fajillion times better than Cars, people. Seriously.
Ratatouille is actually a joint directorial venture between Brad (The Incredibles, The Iron Giant) Bird and Jan (A Bug's Life) Pinkava, who originally pitched and wrote the ratacular tale. All we know about the story is that it's about a rat named Ratatouille (Patton Oswalt) who lives in an upmarket Parisian restaurant run by an eccentric chef (Brad Garrett).
Anyway, here's the first trailer. It's funny, cute, and clever. So enjoy it, fucker. Continue reading Ratatrailer
Bad Psychic Predicts Bright Future For Himself
FemaleFirst seem to have a scoop on Peter Jackson's next film project. According to a website that leads with the news that 19 year old Lindsey Lohan is 'too young to settle down', Peter Jackson met famous psychic Uri Geller last month and expressed an interest in the rights to Uri's novel 'Ella'. I'd also like to point out that the first section in their navigation section is for their lingerie shop (www.femalefirst.co.uk).Uri Geller is very much like the David Blaine of the 80's - handsome, mysterious and given to playing magic tricks that he pretends are real. Uri's particular schtick was that he was a psychic and could bend spoons. One English newspaper printed Uri's hand and told the nation to touch it at a particular time. Thousands of broken clocks apparently started working again, thus proving that the law of averages and the law of 'most people are incredibly gullible' still holds.
Anyway, now he's a shrivelled old relic given to leeching off what few celebrity friends he has (he was in Michael Jackson's entourage for a while) and desperately trying to keep what sliver of a career he has going. I imagine Uri accidentally bumped into Jackson in a hotel lobby and before Peter could back away Uri thrust a copy of his book into the Kiwi's hands. Peter's natural politeness made him say 'Oh thank you, I'll definitely read this' and Uri immediately ran to every media outlet he could find to tell everyone that Peter Jackson is going to make a film of his book.
The tragic thing here is not that Uri Geller is a desperate and slimey parasite insinuating himself into the lives of the rich and famous, but that there are thousands of these one-hit wonders, novelty acts and other side-show freaks wriggling around just underneath the celebrity radar. Uri Geller just happens to be slightly better at getting parts of the British media to play along with his bullshit.But hey, maybe Peter Jackson just really loves bending spoons. In the meantime, did I mention the website had a lingerie section (www.femalefirst.co.uk)?
Source: FemaleFirst.co.uk
Continue reading Bad Psychic Predicts Bright Future For Himself
