Saturday, July 15, 2006
Meet TFL #2 - They Call Him Mister Gusset
In our continuing crusade to bring you news, gossip and stupid commentary from the movie world, there is sometimes a lot of downtime where there's not really a lot of juicy stuff to post. This is one of those times, so we might as well introduce another one of us to you. Be warned, he's English.
Andrew Clarke
Favourite Movie: Evil Dead 2 I suppose. Grumble.
Favourite Director: Miyasaki I suppose. Favourites are for kids. More grumbling.
Favourite Quote: "Fuck!"
Who I Am: Musician, writer, film-maker, lover, buyer of Van Helsing. Fuck.
Where I Live: London.
If you fancy actually hearing his angelic tones, you could do worse than visiting his MySpace page.
Continue reading Meet TFL #2 - They Call Him Mister Gusset
"Halo Halo" Says Writer
It was only the other day that we told you of the rumour going round about Sir Denzel of Washington possibly donning the helmet to play Master Chief in the Halo adaptation, and now we have an update on the production with some slightly surprising news, at least to me. Apparently, writer Alex Garland is no longer working on the script, with scribe DB Weiss taking the reigns. Yeah, I'm with you when you say "DB who?"
DB Weiss is apparently a novelist who wrote Lucky Wander Boy, a book about video games which is supposedly critically acclaimed. And now, according to an interview at GameSetWatch, he's been tapped up to rewrite the adventures of Master Chief.
What are you working on at the moment?
I write for film now, mostly – appropriately enough, I’m currently adapting Halo for producers Mary Parent, Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh. I’ve got another novel finished that needs a second draft – and maybe someday, I’ll be able to work in games. I certainly hope so.
That's pretty exciting - I know you mentioned being a fan of the game's multiplayer mode a few years back, but were you attracted to the storyline of the single player game back then?
Yeah, I’m pretty excited about it. And I did always think there was a lot more to the Halo universe than most games -- I remember switching to “Easy” mode on the first game, so I could plow through it more quickly and find out what happened next.
How did you become involved with the project? It wasn't anything to do with an interview you did where you said:
"Far more work went into the LWB screenplay excerpt than any other section of the book, except possibly the end. I think someone ought to hire me to write terrible, techno-mystical action screenplays. I think I have a knack."
Was it?
That’s pretty damn funny – I’d forgotten about that. Let’s hope that, except for the “terrible” part, I was right!
Actually, it came to me in a far more prosaic way – producer calls agent and mentions project, agent sends sample script to producer, I go meet producer and we really get along, etc.
How far along with the screenplay are you?
Just starting in on an entirely new second draft.
I have to say, I don't see the attraction most people seem to have to Halo. It's a fun game, but it's not like there's some untapped goldmine there. Like most games, it's a pastiche of Hollywood movies slapped together with some new paint. Then again, that describes most Hollywood movies these days.
In case you're wondering about the picture, it's from a UK sitcom called Allo Allo. It's only there because it was one of the first things that came up during a google search for Halo, and I thought it was funny. Also, it's 4.54am.
Source: GameSetWatch Continue reading "Halo Halo" Says Writer
Review: Superman Returns
It’s hard to separate objectivity for nostalgia, especially with sequels. I don’t see nostalgia as that much of a bad thing, on the contrary, it’s refreshing to look back over the years and see what inspired you, what you loved, and how it’s changed. A lot of movies are built on nostalgia. Dazed and Confused for instance, an incredible film which has nostalgia at its core, while telling a brilliant self-contained story. Superman Returns is also built around nostalgia, both in the filmic world and in every aspect of its creation. Bryan Singer’s film has taken 1978’s Superman: The Movie and used that now-classic portrayal of the Man of Steel as a template for the pseudo-sequel. I can’t really blame him, to be honest. That film has been indelibly imprinted into the hearts and minds of people for generations, and not paying tribute to it would be like a Led Zeppelin compilation without ‘Stairway To Heaven.’ Sure, you can do it, but it would never feel completely right.Many have called Singer’s film a remake. I wouldn’t go that far. It definitely shares a lot of things, and Singer homages Donner many times, from specific lines to parts of the structure. But as far as I’m concerned, Superman Returns is its own beast. But is it any good?
Superman Returns opens with a pre-credit title card that explains in a nutshell what has happened. How he came to Earth, how they accepted him as their champion. And how, unexplainably, he left six years ago. Now he’s back, after searching for Krypton’s remains, and his world here is just as destroyed as his homeworld. The world has moved on, and so has Lois Lane, now a mother, who recently won a Pulitzer Prize for her article ‘Why The World Doesn’t Need Superman.’ But while Lois has moved on, Lex Luthor hasn’t. Released from prison because Superman failed to show to give testimony, Lex is determined to get back into the world of real estate and continue his crusade to take over the world. And he isn’t going to let a little thing like Superman get in the way of his dream.
There’s one little moment in the film that really captures something I’ve always wanted to see explored with Superman. He’s hovering high in the atmosphere, and all you can hear is the wall of noise that comes from below. Screams. Police sirens. Gunshots. Cries for help. What follows is him singling out one sound to follow, which eventually leads to a foiled bank robbery, but that’s not important. It’s about Superman’s role in our world. In one scene, Clark sits in his Smallville home flicking through the channels, seeing news story after news story, all presenting the horrors that news television thrives on. Murder. Disaster. War. It’s a sobering image, one that conjures up our thoughts of how much our world could do with a Superman, and inevitably, it’s impossible not to think of September 11th in that context.
This is where people are probably going to be split into two camps (I don’t know if they have already, I’ve been avoiding all reviews and interweb chatter). I’ve heard it described as ‘emo Superman,’ and that’s probably not far from the truth. But I don’t mind that, in fact, I embrace it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pushing for the sequel to be an all-out giant robot-fighting superhero epic. But that’s because the soul-searching story has now been told, and it’s that story I really wanted to see. I don’t know, it’s probably down to my own personality. When I write myself, I tend to write a lot of emotional turmoil, a lot of soul-searching, as opposed to a great deal of action. Maybe that’s just the person I am, but it’s what I’ve wanted to see from Superman for a while.
This is also the first portrayal I’ve seen of Superman since the first two movies that has really nailed down the fragile side of his soul. The human side. There are few things in the world that are worse than discovering the person that you loved - that you still love – has moved on. And despite the fact that in the end, we know she hasn’t moved on completely, because Lois and Clark are always going to be connected in some way, it’s still a painful experience, for Clark, and for the audience. This is a Superman who still has no trouble pulling planes out of the air and flying faster than a speeding bullet, but whose inner soul is fractured. As we see Clark watching Lois outside her house, it should be creepy, it should seem like a stalker moment. But it doesn’t. Like John Cusack in High Fidelity, who also spends lots of time outside his lost love’s home, this is a man who has lost his heart. He knows where it is, but he can’t get it. But it doesn’t stop him dwelling on every little moment. And all of us who have love and lost have done that.
However, there’s one aspect of Clark’s new life that I’m conflicted about. And this is where spoilers will apply, so if you haven’t seen the movie, I’d skip the next paragraph if I were you.
I’m talking about Jason, his son. Firstly, I like that it’s never explicitly explained. It seems like it’s such a personal thing between Lois and Clark, and it’s undoubtedly what she tells him as she whispers into his ear when he’s in hospital, but it’s something that’s so personal, especially with Richard and the people around him, that we shouldn’t hear it. Another aspect is how it affects Clark. Here is a man that – despite Lois – has always been an outcast, an alien in both the literal and emotional sense. Jor-El knew this, and Clark knows this, and this leads to one of the most touching scenes in the film, as Clark gives Jason his version of the speech Marlon Brando gave as he prepared to send his son into space. But on the other hand, where does this leave Clark? I hope that Singer and co haven’t painted themselves into a corner with this aspect of the film, but I’m not sure how they’re going to go with it, assuming a sequel follows. One thing that makes me glad is the portrayal of Jason himself. I was afraid that when he and Lois were locked in the pantry, he was going to rip the door off and go all Superboy, and thankfully, that doesn’t happen.The scenes where we do see Superman in action are pretty damn good, with the shuttle/plane sequence quite astonishing, both visually and editorially. It’s here where we finally see a Superman that takes advantage of the huge leap in visual effects, as we originally saw in 1978. The only bit that didn’t really work action-wise was the bullet time during the bank robbery. Again, maybe it’s just me, but that technique always takes me completely out of the movie.
But amongst the action, one of the things that I wasn’t sure I was going to get from the movie is emotion. The aesthetic of the film – beautifully shot on hi-def digital video – has a quality that people could see as sterile, but within that is buckets of emotion. Most of it, as expected, is borne out of Clark’s inner turmoil over Lois, but one of the most highly-charged emotional sequences was – and there’s more spoilers here, folks – when Lex finally gets his way with Superman. What we’re treated to is another portrayal of Clark as a fragile human, albeit via exposure to a lot of Kryptonite. Clark is punched, kicked, thrown around, and every blow is utterly heartbreaking as we see our hero, who we’re so used to seeing go through his enemies like they’re made of paper, ruthlessly beaten within an inch of his life.
Lex himself takes up a huge amount of the film. Spacey’s performance is superb, straddling the line between Hackman’s campy child-like villain and the more menacing and ruthless character from the comics. You got the sense that, even though Hackman consigned millions to die with his plan, he never had the menace and absolutely ruthless streak that Luthor has. Spacey never attains that completely, but brings a nice balance to the character. In fact, the performances are very good across the board. Brandon Routh does the impossible, he gives us a Superman that – while paying homage to Christopher Reeve – never feels like he’s completely emulating him. I think it’s fair to say that, well, the torch has been passed, and Routh is Superman. Kate Bosworth was the person I was most worried about, but she’s a fine Lois Lane. It’s not the same character as before, rather someone who has mellowed a bit through time, but in the context of the film, she works, as does James Marsden as Richard White who, while wasted in the X-Men movies as Cyclops, gives a very good performance here. The same goes for the kid who plays Jason.People always say that music usually provides much of the heart and soul of a movie, and that’s very much true here. John Ottman’s score is brilliant, striking a fine balance between John Williams’ original themes, and his new material, which is very good. The benchmark of a theme to me has always been its hummability, and I’m already humming at least two of Ottman’s new themes.
From what I can gather from the few people I’ve heard from about the movie, the general consensus is that it’s too long, and while it never, ever felt like two and a half hours while I was watching it, I definitely think it could lose half an hour. The flashback to his days as a boy, while fun, is unnecessary, and some of Luthor’s material could have been excised, as could some of the denouement. However, I did like the scenes in the hospital, mostly because it brought the film full circle in proving Lois’ article wrong. The legions of people standing outside the hospital, waiting for any news on their hero, reminds me of the train scene in Spider-Man 2, to an extent. Like Aunt May said, people love a hero.
As I said earlier, a lot of people’s opinions on the film will come down to this interpretation of Superman. And of course, that’s what it is, an interpretation. As much as I like to deny it, it’s the same with Batman Begins. That portrayal of Batman is an interpretation. It’s an interpretation I may not agree with, but it’s still a valid interpretation. Superman Returns is the same. But while I think back at the film, there’s a sense of gratitude inside at this moment, the same way as when you see an old friend for the first time in a long time. Superman is back.Welcome home, son. You’ve been missed.
8 and a half Ursas out of 10 Continue reading Review: Superman Returns
Pirates 2, Wallets 0
Disney executives are hoisting the mainsail and battoning down the hatches with glee as Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest continues to dominate in theaters across America. After the most successful opening week of all time, the current claim of booty for the monster sequel stands at an estimated (and unprecedented) $214.4 million in a single week of release.
After a few years of utter doom and gloom about box office receipts in Hollywood, with everything from DVD releases and internet piracy blamed for lackluster ticket sales, it's pretty amazing to see a film like this take theaters by storm. I'm sure nobody was expecting Pirates 2 to fail, but I don't think anybody expected this kind of audience reception, especially after the critical panning it's been receiving from most sources. (Read Andrew's review here.)
The question on my mind is why? Personally, I thought the movie was great fun, one of my favorites of the year. But what chord has it struck with the public to receive this much freaking money? Is Johnny Depp the new big box office draw? Do people love Keira Knightley as much as I do? (By the way, I saw her first.) Does this prove that pirates are officially much cooler than ninjas? (By the way, pirates are much cooler than ninjas.) Who knows, at this point. It may forever remain a mystery.
We're now entering the crucial second week of release for the film, so it remains to be seen whether the movie truly has legs, or if it's going to sink to the bottom of the sea like so much undead Stellan Skarsgård. Still, with its current momentum, and another sequel on the horizon for next year, it's hard to imagine this being anything less than one of the biggest blockbusters of the past decade.
In the meantime, expect to see Dead Man's Chest reappear in Beijing for 2008, where it plans to break the records for the long jump, pole vaulting, and women's synchronized gymanstics events.
Source: Showbiz Data, Everyone on Earth Continue reading Pirates 2, Wallets 0
Trailer: The Science of Sleep
The Science of Sleep, one of the most visually rich and imaginative films of the year, has finally got its trailer up. It's by Eternal Sunshine helmer Michel Gondry. Need I really say more?
This is a really wonderful trailer, although the film does give the sense of it perhaps being a pretty pretentious wank fest like many of the indie arthouse flicks of the late '90s (though admittedly, none showed this kind of visual muscle). Gondry has earned the benefit of the doubt in my mind, though, thanks in part to his exemplary work on Eternal Sunshine - a film that's easily among my all-time favorites - as well as his most recent, Dave Chappelle's Block Party. At the same time, The Science of Sleep doesn't have the benefit of a Charlie Kaufman or Dave Chappelle, but I guess we'll see soon enough if Gondry is as good with a pen as he is behind the donut.
So far though, I love what I see.
Source: Apple Continue reading Trailer: The Science of Sleep
Friday, July 14, 2006
Poster: Spider-Man 3
Update - Sony's Daily Bugle website now has a Quicktime version of the teaser up, so you can see it in all its lenticular goodness.
It seems like the best news stories always crop up while I'm trying to get some sleep. Superhero Hype landed a nice, big, juicy image of the first real poster for the upcoming Spider-Man 3, and it's a real beaut. Simple, iconic, and nary a floating head in sight. But are mainstream audiences going to get what it's all about?
Click here for the full image!
I dig this poster quite a bit. It's instantly recognizeable, and at the same time, you can see that something's off-kilter with our beloved webspinner. The comparison between his standard spider emblem and the more vicious, wicked-looking symbiote emblem is striking, and makes for a really cool visual.
I've got it on pretty good authority that the third outing for Spider-Man is going to be the most exciting, and everything we've seen so far has been leading up to one hell of a ride next May.
Source: Superhero Hype, Sony
Continue reading Poster: Spider-Man 3
Top Five Superhero Films - Part 1
The Fakers of TFL are back with another all-encompassing list that should certainly be viewed as definitive and never ever wrong. Ever.
Shall we begin?
Charlie Brigden says...
1. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm: The best Bat-flick by a long way.2. Hulk: This isn't your daddy's Hulk, but I still love it regardless.
3. Superman: It drags occasionally, and Luthor could be a bit more serious, but as comic book movies go, it's hard to find one this enjoyable.
4. X2: Jackman's Wolverine is incredible, the emotional stakes are raised much higher, and with the origins out of the way, the movie is able to bring us a higher dose of action and great character beats.
5. Spider-Man 2: It's a credit to the quality of the rest of the movie that the overbaked and underwritten romance with Snaggletooth didn't kill it. A joy to watch.
Brad Millette says...
1. Spider-Man 2: While the first film was flawed, Raimi proved that he "got" the character of Peter Parker. With the second film, everything is taken to the limit. Fantastic villainy, staggering effects and setpieces, and probably more fun than we should be allowed to have. Even a so-so romance can't bring this movie down from its peaks.2. Superman: Richard Donner's first Superman feature will likely remain a classic of the genre long after comics are dead. It's a joyous depiction of the Man of Steel, bolstered by a career defining performance from Christopher Reeve, and some of the best scenery chewing Gene Hackman has ever managed. Despite some aged effects work, it still makes us believe a man can fly.
3. The Incredibles: Beautiful, heartwarming, and full of action, Pixar's sixth feature wowed us with some of the best superhero adventure we're likely to see. A great voice cast and some spectacular staging rounds out one of the best superhero flicks out there.
4. X2: Before Singer jumped ship for a man in blue tights, he was imbuing this band of losers and misfits with charm, heart, and something to say. Heavy on characterization, and featuring one of my favorite scenes from a film ever (Magneto's escape), it picked up the ball from the first film, and ran all the way to the goal.
5. Fantastic Four: While not an excellent movie by any stretch, it's a near pitch-perfect recreation of the feel of the Marvel Silver Age. Hampered more by a lack of ambition than poor execution, it provides a fine setup for a franchise that has loads of potential to be fun.
George Merchan says...
1. The Incredibles: The best. Funny... moving... and absolutely NEVER dull. Plus, I think I'd do Elastigirl. Hard.2. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm: Definitive, you sons of bitches. It's the one Bat film to really get all the elements which make the man what he is right right right. Detectiving... duality struggle... all that. And holy shit, an onscreen relationship that actually works?! Go home, Batman Begins.
3. X2: Way better than the first and featuring incredible performances from Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, and Patrick Stewart. The attack on the mansion is still dope, yo.
4. Hellboy: Suprisingly touching, great vision on a small budget, and a wonderfuly charismatic performance from the man that's all jaw, Ron Perlman.
5. Superman: It's the one that started it all, and it has one of the most iconic scores ever composed. Plus...
MISS TESCHMACHER!!!!!!!!! Continue reading Top Five Superhero Films - Part 1
A 24 Minutes Darkly
Today, A Scanner Darkly will be opening wide(r) all over the country. So what should you do? Spoil the first 24 minutes for yourself in the comfort of your own cubicle!
The dudes over at IGN Filmforce were cool enough to somehow get the opening 24 minutes of the Philip K. Dick adaptation in good hi-res digital formats. Oh what an age we live in! There're also some video interviews there that are worth a look.
So, check out the footage right here. And after that, come back and read our own Chris Oliver's take on Dick.
Source: IGN Filmforce Continue reading A 24 Minutes Darkly
"...'cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."
The ridiculous lack of happenin' movie news on the internets has prompted me to search elsewhere to make you clowns hopefully chuckle just a lil' bit. And as the header describes, it certainly is Friday, and since we ain't got shit to do, here's a little baked Owen Wilson, courtesy of the chiseled bodes over at Defamer...
I also hear You, Me and Dupree is fucking shit. So don't you dare go see that.
Source: Defamer Continue reading "...'cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."
Prestedigitalation
After the success of Pirates 2, Disney, the home of Mickey Mouse, family entertainment and all things wholesome and good, bought everyone in Hollywood enough coke to get them through to August. As a result all movie news has stopped. While we wait for the hooker bills to come through, here's the trailer for Christopher Nolan's upcoming The Prestige.
I'm not going to go the usual route of giving my impressions of the trailer and expectations for the film. This is because I respect the ability of TFL's readership to think and judge for themselves and definitely not because my computer's media software is playing up. I will say that I hope Nolan films the magic tricks a bit better than he filmed Batman Begins' fights.
I will leave you with a picture of Christian Bale, who everyone here is gay for.
Source: Apple Continue reading Prestedigitalation
Thursday, July 13, 2006
A Sip From The Fountain
Best film of the year?
Our friendlies over at CHUD.com are among the very first to have reviewed Darren Aronofsky's upcoming sci-fi opus The Fountain, a film that I sorta forgot about for awhile (out of sight, out of mind kinda thing) but am fully aware of now and am absolutely delighted to hear is a brilliant piece of adult filmmaking. It's now my most anticipated film of the year next to Martin Scorsese's The Departed. Bravo, Darren. Bravo.
Check out Herr Faraci's review right here. And if you haven't yet, be sure to watch the trailer here.
Source: CHUD Continue reading A Sip From The Fountain
300 Reasons to Hate Moviefone
300 is one of those movies I completely forget about for awhile, and then a video journal or just general information flies by me and I get interested in it all over again. Take that picture for example, which reminded me a few weeks back about the film. This time it's a clip of the next video journal that takes a few quick looks at some behind the scenes content. It's not much, but it still warrants a glance I would think. It's also unfortunately in the format of the devil's spawn, also know as Moviefone.
The footage follows Lena Headey, who I've never seen before, and whom I assume is the female lead, as she explains a bit of her character. Also featured briefly is Dominic West from the The Wire. Mentioning his name is the equivalent of lighting the Shane Yaroch symbol, so I'm sure he will be along to remind us all just how good The Wire is.
The film is a retelling of Frank Miller's comic of the same name about the Battle of Thermopylae. I've heard good things about 300, but have not read it myself. I'm sure I will soon enough as all the footage and stills of the movie does get me at the very least curious. However, I'm hesitant to touch any Frank Miller in the wake of his All-Star Batman and Robin run, which features a hardcore Batman with terrible dialogue and molasses for pacing. Sorry, Frank, I don't think you will ever get your Dark Knight Returns fame again. Stick to writing Robocop sequels and riding on Rodriguez's back for the time being.
You can battle Moviefone to the death in order to view the clip here. 300 is directed by Zack Snyder, who makes things look very pretty, but whose direction of narrative is questionable. I still have a good feeling about this movie, so my eyes will be fixed upon it until its release in March of next year.
Source: Moviefone
Continue reading 300 Reasons to Hate Moviefone
Trailer: Beerfest
The boys at Broken Lizard have unveiled the trailer for their latest "comedy" masterpiece, and you can find it at Maxim Online, in glorious... well, in streaming .WMV, anyway.
I don't "get" Broken Lizard's comedy, obviously. I found Super Troopers to be a cliched, obvious attempt at creating a cult hit, and Club Dread was about as entertaining as taking a piss in the Amazon. With this, they're doing nothing to sway my opinion of them. It looks like Dodgeball, except with beer. Hey, ever heard a joke about how people from different countries have funny accents? These guys sure have!
On a side note, my Norton Antivirus blocked a grand total of twelve medium risk worm attempts from Maxim's site while I was watching this trailer. I don't think I can really blame Broken Lizard for that, but I don't much believe in coincidences.
Source: Maxim Online Continue reading Trailer: Beerfest
Superman Might Return... But He Needs To Make More Money
An interesting bit of news from TMZ.com, who I confess I've never heard of, which is apparently stating that Superman Returns will earn a sequel - but only if it reaches the $200 million mark.
The site states that Warners boss Alan Horn - who sounds like a character from Bonanza - has said that the iconic character will get another flick if it breaks 200mil, but even if it does, the budget will be significantly less. Considering that the press was full of stories of Returns' huge budget, with some putting it as high as $250m, that's not a huge surprise. But the biggest question is: will it actually make it past the required number?
It hasn't exactly done spectacular business. Pirates 2 is doing a storm at the moment and doesn't look like stopping anytime soon, and Superman's money is already been taking heavy losses from The Devil Wears Prada. Add to that the fact that there's Little Man, the new Wayans Bros movie opening this week, and we all know a lot of dumb people will line up for that, and it doesn't look good for the Man of Steel. But it should be able to limp past 200. Or you'd think, anyway.
Source: TMZ Continue reading Superman Might Return... But He Needs To Make More Money
The Woods: Explored
The good thing is that they like it a lot. They compare it to Dario Argento's classic surrealist nightmare Suspiria, and that for me is a very good thing as I love that flick to death. Here's some interesting snippets:
Director Lucky McKee has acknowledged Argento as an influence on THE WOODS, but there are moments where he and cinematographer John R. Leonetti seem to be taking their cues more from the work of DP Sergio Salvati for fellow Italian shock-maestro Lucio Fulci. In several shots, small pools of light isolate pockets of a widescreen frame otherwise suffused in darkness; this is one of those laudable horror films that makes night truly look like night, dark and threatening instead of lit up with blue "moonlight."
this is a movie that makes its strongest impression through the style in which it is told, and not just in the way McKee conjures up visual frights. He also, as he previous demonstrated in MAY and MASTERS OF HORROR's SICK GIRL, is a horror director who seems especially attuned to the psychological world of young women, and isn't just focusing on them for demographic reasons.
At the center of it all is a solidly affecting performance by [Agnes] Bruckner, whose Heather is as distinctive as her part in last year's VENOM (don't ask me to remember her character name there) was generic. Clarkson makes an efficiently chilly impression as her nemesis, and among Ms. Traverse's right-hand women, Marcia Bennett (also seen in SICK GIRL) has a number of funny, twitchy moments. Most notable for horror fans, though, is the presence of Bruce Campbell in a rare dead-straight role as Heather's father.
Sounds like good stuff! At this moment, it appears The Woods doesn't have a distributor (it was part of United Artists before it all went tits up) so let's hope someone steps in and allows this movie to be seen by a wide audience, instead of being left to live amongst the shelf-trash like May.
You can read the rest of Fangoria's review here.
Source: Fangoria Continue reading The Woods: Explored
Daywalker. Gallowalker. Same Shit.
So Production Weekly is reporting that Wesley Snipes, one of the sultans of DTV, will be starring in a movie that will not only be shown in actual cineplexes, but one that essentially sounds like Blade with zombies.
Gallowalker is the name of the flick. Below is its rundown. I'm bolding and italicizing the parts that make me giggle.
"Snipes will play mysterious gunman Kaos, the son of a nun who breaks her covenant with God to ensure his survival. This act brings a curse upon Kaos - all those that die by his gun will return. Hunted by a gang of his undead former victims, led by the vicious Kansa, Kaos enlists Fabulos, a new young warrior to fight by his side."Wait... the son of a nun? Already this is anti-Christian. Kaos? Kansa? Fabulos? Those handles are enough to make Dar and Maax cower in shame.
Filming is scheduled to begin in Namibia, South Africa next month. I'll be sure to put on a chicken.
Source: Production Weekly Continue reading Daywalker. Gallowalker. Same Shit.
Action Crap
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, while actually taking money out of your pocket as you read this, is great fun, but it does have many of the flaws that plague modern blockbuster entertainment. The one that hacked me off the most and, by extraordinary coincidence, the one I am writing this article about, is its use of Action Crap.
These are the shots of general mayhem in an action scene when extras run about and get shot, impaled, defenestrated and immolated. They serve no narrative purpose other than to say 'Attack is happening!', 'OMG!' and 'Look at how big our budget is!'. Crucially, if you removed the Action Crap, the film would play exactly the same, as these shots do not develop the story, resolve any conflicts or even have any of the main characters in them. They are there to spice up the scenes, bulk up the action, and to add a bit of spectacle and good old-fashioned senseless violence, not that there's anything wrong with that in itself.
The problem is that action scenes should be the parts where the audience is most keenly sensitive to the fates of the characters, as these are the parts where the conflict comes to a head and, on a base level, where these people who you care about are in the most danger and yet, by stuffing them up with Action Crap, the film-makers distance the audience from that narrative pulse, turning the scene from being breathlessly exciting to merely gawpingly spectacular.
The Action Crap has a long history. The stunt shot has always been around. The stunt man has been falling out of windows, getting dragged behind horses and running around on fire since the beginning of film. The stunt man is reported as 'being a bit tired now'. Action Crap is great fun when used correctly. The problem has come in the modern age of blockbuster entertainment, of b-movies being given a-movie budgets, digital technology allowing endless and immense scale, and of Steven Spielberg. There are no straight lines in history, especially movie history, but I'm going to start with Saving Private Ryan.
Private Ryan sparked the trend for longer and longer battle scenes after its mostly awesome and much ballyhooed opening 25 minutes of bits of Americans. Jerry Bruckheimer seemed very proud to tell us that Black Hawk Down's 'action scene' lasted over 90 minutes. Private Ryan's battle was also notable for deliberately not being narrative, but experiential - doing away with plot and character almost altogether in favour of a disorienting yet immersive account of what it would be like to be there. It's not just an action scene, you see, and the violence is not gratuitous - this style informs us that this is history, this is important and this is about the event, not just the pretty stars in the foreground. Since then we have had lots and lots of gruesome historical battles - see Troy, Alexander, et al.
This all leads up to the kraken fight where we have several seperate attacks in a row, with many, many lovingly detailed shots of the kraken killing random pirates while the leads run about in between. Why have one shot of a tentacle whipping someone overboard when you can have several dozen? It will prove that the battle is serious! It will make the climax epic! It will show that we have more money than anyone else!
The result is that the scene becomes choppy and difficult to follow as the momentum is constantly upset by these narratively non-existant shots. You will either get terribly annoyed by the scene as you impatiently wait for the hero to get back on screen or it will get boring, as you start to lose track of what is and is not narratively important, and the scene simply becomes a blur.
During the editing of The Two Towers, Peter Jackson and his collaborators realised that if the action moved away from a hero character for more than about 3 shots, the battle became boring, so they kept cutting it down and cutting away to Frodo or the Ents. I remember reading about these cut-aways and cut-downs with mounting horror in the months before the release. I wanted 45 minutes of uninterrupted carnage. I can only thank the god of movies (hey Stan!) that Peter Jackson was a much better film-maker than I was back then. I'm catching up though.
A good use of Action Crap, to use an example I've seen recently, is From Dusk Till Dawn - when the film goes entirely apeshit with the vampires. There is a good thirty seconds of nothing but wide-shot Action Crap and the disorienting effect of having no narrative to follow adds to the effect that all expectations given by the first half of the movie are now entirely out of the window. And that there's vampires.
Equally there's a shot in Godfather 2 when the gang war finally erupts and the mobsters spill out onto a New York street shooting indiscrimintaley. It is only one shot and lasts only a few seconds, and it perfectly demonstrates to the audience that the situation has now grown out of control.
There have, of course, always been crappy action movies and yes, I grew up watching Schwarzenegger films, but I do believe the problem has been getting worse recently. The escalation in budgets and technological facility is fueling a cock-waving arms-race of increasingly bloated movies filled with increasingly boring Action Crap. The idea that action scenes are there to put your characters in danger is getting lost, replaced with the idea that characters are there to get you to the next action scene. Mind you, calls for a return to character always sound so fucking prissy, so I'm going to resort to insults:
Sweety, who cares how big it is if your stomach is blocking the view? Continue reading Action Crap
Angelina Jolie Has Heart
Not only is Angelina Jolie stunningly hot, she's also a pretty good actress, which is why Paramount Vantage (which I assume is a branch of the studio with the mountain) has tapped her to star in A Mighty Heart, the ludicrously-titled story of the murder of Daniel Pearl.
In case you don't remember, Daniel Pearl was a journalist working for the Wall Street Journal who was working in Pakistan when he went missing. It turned out he was kidnapped by a militant group who believed he was a spy, and who subsequently sent photos of Pearl with a gun to his head with a set of demands. Unfortunately for Daniel and his family, the US stayed firm and refused to do anything, and the journalist was murdered.
The film will be based on the memoir about Pearl by his wife, Marianne Pearl, who Jolie will be playing. It's being produced by Brad Pitt's Plan B, and Michael Winterbottom (The Road to Guantanamo) is in talks to direct.
Source: Variety Continue reading Angelina Jolie Has Heart
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Holy Shit! The Old Guy From The Lost Boys Is Dead
Apparently he was in Tron, too.
Barnard Hughes
1915 - 2006
Source: IMDB Continue reading Holy Shit! The Old Guy From The Lost Boys Is Dead
Trailer: The Ant Bully
I'm serious. They look EXACTLY out of the aforementioned CGI ant pictures. As far as I can tell, this involves someone getting shrunk down to ant size, eventually helping the ants escape a flood. This involves "cute" jokes such as the invalid old granny with her escaping false teeth, copious uses of the word 'butt' and the device of using events such as rainfall which seem normal to us, but are like New Orleans times ten to the ant world.
The trailer is fucking excruciating, and I couldn't make it all the way to the end. The animation looks a straight rip from Pixar (the opening scene looks like an actual scene from The Incredibles) the comedy looks awful, and the whole thing seems ten years too late. If you're that desperate for some ant-related fun, either buy a magnifying glass or go hunt down a copy of Them! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT watch this movie, or this trailer, for that matter. It's just better that way.
Source: Apple Continue reading Trailer: The Ant Bully
Natalie = Not Nude
Egotastic has spilled the beans that, while you will see nudity involved in the sexiest of situations that is torture, it will in fact be a body double as opposed to Ms. Portman. Natalie has long been a stickler for this kind of thing, and sexuality in general it seems, even going so far to say she felt like a whore when she had to kiss Hayden Christensen in Attack of the Clones, but if it makes you feel better Nat, we felt like whores watching it.
I've never seen all the fuss about her myself, but one million nerds can't be wrong. However, the scene will supposedly also be having her character getting raped, so that's still pretty hot, right?
Source: Egotastic Continue reading Natalie = Not Nude
Adventures in Redundancy
I sometimes do news stories just for the sake of their comedy value. I'm a bit picky when it comes to what I post here, mainly because I know that actual trailers and proper news are usually a bit more entertaining than "X star is starring in Y movie, which will be out in two years." That's why I posted that Case 39 story, because despite it being exactly that, it was an excuse to make jokes about Ian McShane and his mullet. But now I have a story that really needs no extraneous words, a story which proves that not only has the remake craze truly jumped the shark, but it went home and jumped in Pinky Tuscadero's bed afterwards.Here's the skinny: Disney is remaking Adventures in Babysitting. Now just sit back in your comfy chair and ponder the absolute brilliance of that. Adventures. In. Babysitting.
For those not in the know, Adventures in Babysitting (or AiB as the cool kids call it) was an 80s comedy starring Elizabeth Shue, notable only for being Chris Columbus' directorial debut (thank god he's gone on to better movies) and having a kid in a viking helmet. I know that sounds like the makings of an absolute classic, but I'm afraid it's just your standard teen gash - and not in a good way. The flick is being written by David Stem and David Weiss, who have scribed such great movies as Are We There Yet? and that ultimate classic of artistic cinema, Shrek 2. It'll star Raven Symone, who apparently has her one TV show, but she only comes to my mind as either one of Bill Cosby's five million kids in The Cosby Show or the main reason Hangin' With Mr Cooper went to shit.
Either way, I'm sure this movie will be out in two years.
Source: The Hollywood Reporter
Continue reading Adventures in Redundancy
Pixellated Rebellion - 7/12/2006
SONY HATES BLACK PEOPLE
Hitler apparently revealed where he's been hiding all these years. In the last couple of weeks the villainous "fuehrer phantom" created evil, evil advertisements and video game characters for the sake of Sony. Said evil prospects have ruffled the feathers of the sensitive gaming community. Every blog from here to no one cares threw in their two cents when Sony's advertisement campaign (click the picture for all three) for the new white PSP started showing up. The first ad released depicted two hot women battling each other for supremacy of my pants. In response to this ad most of the gaming community became angered beyond recognition when they found that sex was possible and that gamers weren't really getting all that much of it themselves.
They were also pretty pissed because one was white and the other black. In the most offensive of the three ads the white lady seems to particularly be in control of the battle. The caption also doesn't help things, stating, "Playstation Portable. White is Coming."
Uh oh.
Mixed with all this some random guy on a gaming blog professed his discovery that the new PSP game Loco Roco contained racially offensive characters for the villains of the game. I'm not sure how he came to that conclusion, but maybe the picture will shed some light:
Ah shit.
This created a lesser amount of ruckus that was more centralized in gaming blogs than the above advertisements. Most sane and civil people own a Nintendo DS anyway and don't sully their hands with the clunky PSP, racist or otherwise. The Loco Roco problem has been thoroughly argued but not officially addressed. On the other hand the advertisements have been apologized for and pulled by Sony. The apology was probably prompted from when the NAACP stepped in and spoiled all the hot lesbian fun. This humble writer simply wishes that the battle for dominance between the two young women finishes, and that their clothes are gratuitously ripped and their flesh exposed. The only people who would get upset about that are feminists, and no one cares what they think.
"I SWEAR TO GOD WE WON'T CHARGE $2 FOR A HORSE EVER AGAIN!"
On a lighter note, many of the Goth gaming community will rejoice today seeing as how Bethesda is releasing another one of their official mods for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. This one involves vampires, and will probably be the closest thing you'll get to reliving Stuart Townsend's earth shattering performance in Queen of the Damned. It will also be a welcome addition for those of us who had to jump through Bethesda's fucking hoops to get the cure for vampirism before the patch.
The add-on simply entitled "The Vile Lair" creates an additional hideout for the game that focuses on the god Sithis and vampirism. It provides evil yet colorful looking plants, a fancy place to sleep and read, and an even fancier place for what would seem to be the aimless groping of intestines. The full list of features can be found here.
Coming hot on the heels of Bethesda's other mods; this one seems to be a welcome improvement to some of their previous affairs which included everything from a useless ten minute quest to two lavish yet pointless horses that cost two dollars to get. Luckily, they've toned down their pricing (The Vile Lair costing $1.89 for a lot more content) and if they don't waste their opportunities for modding they'll get to the point that Bioware did with Neverwinter Nights, where modifications both official and unofficial kept the game alive and profitable four years after its release.
The Vile Lair arrives tomorrow, so clutch your Anne Rice books in anticipation!
YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH WHORES NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY
Look and marvel at what is shown before you. They're women. Women with small electronic devices. And not just any electronic devices, no my dear friend. These devices are controllers and gateways to interactive simulations of such things as shooting and pet care. Video games my good sir. Video games.Their fake names are Siren and Vixen and if you didn't notice they're hot. They're also a splinter group that was originated from the ultra whoring that is Frag Dolls. Frag Dolls is a brothel/promotional team of gaming girls created by Ubisoft so they could shill with the power of tits. I believe these two are from the UK contingent in particular, thus making me demand Mr. Clarke or Mr. Brigden to steal me one now so I can keep her in the closet next to my old Neo Geo.
Well, these classy ladies decided not to be bound by the promotional gimmick that is Frag Dolls, and decided instead to create an independent and opinionated duo of women gamers called VersuS. Siren (previously known as Voodoo), the one that escaped the groping clutches of Ubisoft, seems to know what she is talking about:
"Although we may have strong opinions, you can be sure of one thing; we're not here to endorse any product or sell you anything. If we say it, it's because we mean it, not because it pays our wage. We’ve both seen the perils and pit falls of "selling out" and have learnt one vital lesson; if you love something then honesty, independence and freedom are the best path to take."
I immediately was skeptical and questioned to myself why they had a gallery in the first place, but they seem to want to use it because they are "proud of themselves" and for archiving their exploits and so forth. All this seems very nice, but it is truly my opinion that no matter how hard they try they are pretty much just going to be defined by their gender in the gaming world. It's not really their fault, but their well rounded bosoms will be far more regarded than there game choice. At least for now.
If one thought the world of film was a wild stage show propelled by horny adolescents and money, then the world of video games is some sort of anonymous interactive whorehouse where the youngest and most anti-social of the male sex can emit their machismo without much of a care or consequence. Such an attitude results in what can be considered an awkward and self- deprecating mating call when one finds a woman is a gamer or the gamer is a woman. I often imagine it similar to a sound a hippo would make, or perhaps a wounded hyena.
With that said, take a look at their gallery and undress them with your eyes. It's not creepy if they don't know.
WE'LL HAVE OUR WII OUT BEFORE YOU KNOW IT
The duality of the above title and the sentence before it is unintentional. I promise.
Anyways, this rumor has been run about all over the place, but it seems so numerous that it's hard not to think it at least partially true in that speculative gamer way. For awhile now, at least since E3, Nintendo has never really suggested when the Wii would be freed upon the world but has stayed pretty faithful to a Q4 2006 release date. Now, just so someone can punch Sony even harder in the testicles, it seems that the Wii has been narrowed down to being released sometime in October or November.Rumors of Nintendo pushing its manufacturers and developers to get the job done seem abound and not too unlikely. If Nintendo really wants an edge with their console they would do well to get it out far before the PS3 with a handful of good games and at a reasonable price. All that seems likely, and with Sony still unsure how much their games will cost (and at one point giving a wide and what one would consider near insane margin of somewhere between $50 and $90 for games) Nintendo could end up doing better compared to their last two consoles. Apparently we'll know everything in September when Nintendo will give an official date for the console, and probably a price as well.
Until that time continue to insult Sony, much like you would insult and taunt that bizarre one-eyed janitor at your high school because of his wacky "innovations" in scrubbing toilets.
WORTHWHILE RELEASES OF THE WEEK
Chromehounds (XBOX 360) - July 11th, 2006
Chromehounds seems to be one of the next big Xbox Live contenders to come about, so I can see why so many Xbox owners are anticipating it. It could also probably have to do with giant mechs shooting loud things. Not being an Xbox 360 owner or keeping up to date on its development, it's hard for me to judge. However, from general word of mouth and from reading a few of the reviews and comments on it, I can see that its strong suit is multiplayer and not much else. Unfortunately, I can't help too much with deciding to get this or not, but it never hurts to rent before you buy anyway.
Prey (XBOX 360, PC) - July 11th, 2006
If you want my definitive and long opinion on Prey just read my review here. The only reason I put the game here is because it's sort of like putting a Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich film on a summer preview list. You may not want to because it'll be "I'm easily distracted by loud noises and boom!" fare, but the very popularity and expectancy of it requires you to anyway. If you have better uses for your 49 (or 59 if you're getting it for Xbox 360) dollars, like buying food to live or filling up you gas tank, I'd use it for that instead.
GAMES OF UNHEALTHY ANTICIPATION
Okami (PS2) - September 12th, 2006
Trailer
Clover Studios is one of those development companies that makes you really like the simple appeal of having a fun, no strings attached experience while playing video games. Games like Viewtiful Joe shows a want to just present effective interactivity along with pure fun. Clover Studio games never take themselves too seriously when it comes to the narrative (a plague of many video games nowadays) and instead just wants you to be entertained and at the same time give something new to the gameplay formulas already present. With the Viewtiful Joe games behind them they've set their eyes on making two more of what looks like compelling gaming experiences.
Okami is one of the two games (with the bizarre action game God Hand the other) and shows off some mildly innovative gameplay, primarily the ability to "paint" spells into the world. The innocent attractiveness to the story of a god trying to put color back into the land, along with the old Japanese painting art design that the game is given, makes it something I readily anticipate until its release by way of Capcom (who’s knocking them out of the park this year it would seem). The game's site is entirely in Japanese, but you can still go to it by clicking the box art above.
Well that's it for this edition of Pixellated Rebellion. Come back next week when I dive into the bubbling cesspool of the gaming world and hope to find dignity deep within its recesses somewhere. Continue reading Pixellated Rebellion - 7/12/2006
More Star Wars On DVD Crap
Update! - Hey, I was right for once. This makes me feel very scared, like Homer Simpson when he predicted the outcome of the comet that would destroy Springfield. It turns out our faithful French Fox guy was talking about the Special Edition versions of the films, as opposed to the original versions, so we can all go back to hating George Lucas now.
It's possible this also puts a recent controversy in perspective.
Zidane: Hey, you know the OT DVDs are non-anamorphic?
Materazzi: Really?
Zidane: I think. Oh wait, they were talking about the SEs. But there's a new TPM coming.
Materazzi: You got my hopes up, and then try and comfort me with that?
Zidane: What's wrong with TPM?
Materazzi: It sucks, monsieur.
Zidane: I'LL KILL YOU!
I don't know whether this is bullshit or not, but seeing as it apparently comes from 20th Century Fox, albeit the French branch, it could be true. Remember how everyone who was as happy as a pig in shit that the original unaltered Star Wars trilogy was being released on DVD? Remember how everyone suddenly began spouting venom when it was announced they'd be non-anamorphic? Well, that venom might have just made ol' Georgie Porgie change his mind.Materazzi: Really?
Zidane: I think. Oh wait, they were talking about the SEs. But there's a new TPM coming.
Materazzi: You got my hopes up, and then try and comfort me with that?
Zidane: What's wrong with TPM?
Materazzi: It sucks, monsieur.
Zidane: I'LL KILL YOU!
According to The Digital Bits, who - let's face it - are pretty damn reliable, the DVDs will be anamorphically announced, at least in France, as confirmed by the French offices of Fox. So what does this mean?
A: They will be released worldwide with 16x9 transfers
B: They'll be released in France with 16x9 transfers
C: They got mixed up with the SE versions which are also on the disc.
Christ, who knows? Let's hope the Star Wars panel at Comicon reveals something. Come on Sansweet, no one wants to hear you talk about C-3PO bubblegum wrappers all day.
Source: The Digital Bits
Continue reading More Star Wars On DVD Crap
Master Chief on Fire
Good news for you whores of Halo (which is made up of more than 50% of the kind of guys who beat up most gaming nerds), they might have found the choice for Master Chief in the new Peter Jackson produced Halo flick.Bad news for you bitter neo-Nazis, it just so happens that person might be Malcolm X.
Dark Horizons says that its been thrown around Hollywood that Denzel Washington might be donning a suit of cyber armor and blowing away cliché alien invasions. The rumor probably derives from the report that Washington went to meet with Peter Jackson not too long ago in New Zealand to discuss the aid of WETA for a movie of his own. This news story has probably sent more than a few gamers into a frenzied rage since it might suggest Master Chief would reveal himself at one point, being that there is a famous actor behind the helmet. It also probably ruffles some feathers because of race, but I can't imagine that being warranted since no one knows what the cool looking character with very little development but awesome guns that shoot things actually looks like.
Whether this is true or just random assumption is yet to be seen. Halo currently doesn't have a director, but was written by Alex Garland and of course produced by Peter Jackson. I'm sure more information will come along in due time. Until then go play some XBOX Live Halo 2 until reality becomes an annoying afterthought and the line between hygiene and dignity begins to blur.
Source: Dark Horizons Continue reading Master Chief on Fire
Black Panther Said Knock You Out
Jamie Foxx, Oscar winning star of Ray and Stealth is kicking up the rumor mill for Marvel's constantly in development Black Panther feature. But he's not campaign