Friday, July 21, 2006
This Fountain Tastes Delicious
I perhaps regret in some way looking at the trailer for The Fountain, because it has been suggested in reviews and peeks at this film that it's best to go in cold turkey. However, if the trailer is any indication of the quality of this film, then the end product will probably be too good for all that to matter.
Mind you, I am not the biggest Darren Aronofsky fan out there. Requiem for a Dream was interesting but over hyped for me, and I thought its ultimate theme and message was forced rather than effective. In the end, however, it would be almost impossible to deny Aronofsky's visual flair and just overall ability to tell a nice and dense story in a refreshingly less time than the usual near three hour films we get nowadays. In the case of The Fountain it seems like he might have hit a thematic stride I'm interested in. Combine that with just the glorious look of this film and my oversized geek ass is going to awkwardly squeeze into those theater seats come October. It is nice to see more of these smart science fiction stories come into fruition. Just hours ago mentioning Children of Men and A Scanner Darkly I can now see The Fountain just might be the superior of these interesting sci-fi films coming out this year.
Go take a look at the trailer if you want to see some truly gorgeous imagery. If you have a stronger will than me you might wait until its release to see one second of footage. Either way I am much anticipating this film's release.
Source: Apple Continue reading This Fountain Tastes Delicious
New Look, Old Voices
This isn't the hugest piece of news, but it's reasonably slow at the moment so I thought it'd be a fun update. This one comes straight from the San Diego Comic Con, as we find out just how faithful Michael Bay's upcoming Transformers movie really is in regards to the classic (i.e. we enjoyed it as sprogs) TV series. Despite Megatron being a tank.
According to SuperheroHype, the voice of Optimus Prime in the blockbuster giant robot (or gestalt, if you're a nerd) movie was revealed at the Transformers presentation, and it'll be none other than Peter Cullen. Before you say "Who?" I'll just say he was the voice of Prime in the cartoon, as well as Transformers: The Movie.
Cullen has had a pretty rich career doing voicework, working on everything from Predator (IMDB said he did "special vocalisation") to The Jetsons to Gremlins. He was even the voice of Venger in Dungeons & Dragons, the only cartoon I'm hesitant to watch because I'm scared it'll be crap like all the others and thus fuckup my memory that it was miles better and much more creative than any of the other shows. It's pretty cool to see Bay give him a job - without trying to sound like too much of an utter nerd, which I have no doubt I'll fail at - I'm not sure it would sound right if Cullen wasn't back behind the microphone.
I just wish Scatman Crothers wasn't dead so we could've had Jazz back.
Source: SuperheroHype Continue reading New Look, Old Voices
This Is Halloween - In 3-D!
You know, The Nightmare Before Christmas gets a lot of crap from people, mainly for inspiring the Hot Topic chain of stores. Now I can understand it in a way, because it's responsible for a lot of wannabe teenage goths. But on the other hand, it's like holding Jaws responsible for Armageddon and its ilk because it was the first blockbuster. And yes, I did just compare the too, mainly because I think Nightmare is in the same class as Jaws, a film that is as perfect as cinema can be, a beautiful and wondrous statement of art that shows time and again that - when the jillions of awful movies have descended upon us and make us feel like movies completely suck now - commercial cinema can be just as profound as the arthouse.
Now as you'll have seen above, there's an actual point to this article besides "I love NBX." It seems Disney are rereleasing the film in "Disney Digital 3-D," which I think is the same thing they did with Chicken Little. It seems everyone wants to do 3-D movies now after Lucas, Jackson and Cameron all endorsed it - and there's still rumours the Star Wars saga will explode back onto the big screen in three dimensions for next year's 30th anniversary.
I never saw Nightmare in the theater, so I'm loving this idea. I'm interested to see how they turn it 3-D, but honestly, just a chance to see it on the big screen is greatness. This is Halloween indeed.
Source: AICN Continue reading This Is Halloween - In 3-D!
No Giant Robots or Peter Fonda Satans Here
Only a few places here and there have posted the trailer for Alfonso Cuarón's new film Children of Men. I'm guessing that in the wake of Comic-Con most of those films that don't involve tights kind of get swallowed by the onslaught of Ghost Rider trailer descriptions and how many mosques Michael Bay exploded just by talking about Transformers (for the record it was 89).
Children of Men is a compelling enough dystopian story of a future generation unable to procreate. Luckily, a girl gets pregnant and Julianne Moore and Clive Owen have to save her. Oppressive societies and a long haired Michael Caine ensue.
I've actually been looking forward to this quite a bit. This is one of two Clive Owen films (the other being ultra set piece actioner Shoot 'Em Up) that is constantly on my radar. It also helps that Alfonso Cuarón is an incredible director. Add to that a rather amazing cast featuring the always welcomed Chiwetel Ejiofor and it provides what could be another interesting science fiction film for this year (A Scanner Darkly seems to be leading the charge. You can read a classy review of that film by our resident Chris Oliver here). The trailer gives you a good taste of the direction and feel of the film, and I'm actually quite glad that this is a world still relevant to ours in terms of look.
The trailer is available by way of glorious Quicktime and you can download it here. The film comes out September 29th and will probably be quite good so go see it. And stop caring about Transformers so much. It'll just make you cry when its all said and done, and that's not because Optimus Prime will die, either.
Source: Apple Continue reading No Giant Robots or Peter Fonda Satans Here
News Round-Up: 7/21/06
You want some entertainment news, hot stuff? I've got some baby. About 14 inches worth. Heh heh. Cue the Billy Squier music, somebody. Here are a few sweet thrusts of newsy love for you. But hold on, cause it's gonna go quick. What's that, sweet thang? No, I don't mean I'm going to "go" quickly.
STOP LAUGHING AT ME!
Mmm. Pizza sounds good. Joseph Fiennes is set to play Canadian pilot Roy Brown (the guy who shot down WWI überflyer Manfred von Richthofen, aka The Red Baron) in Niki Muellerschoen's upcoming, oddly-titled film The Red Baron. Matthias Schweighoefer (who has appeared previously in Feardotcom and a bunch of movies whose titles I can't pronounce) will play Air Baron. Lena Headey and Til Schweiger (one for the ladies) co-star. Filming is taking place in the Czech Republic, where I hear it is best to carry cash. No, really.
Source: Variety
Putting the cart before the horse, or better yet, the Bond before the box office, MGM and Sony Pictures announced today that Daniel Craig will again star as Britain's longest living secret agent in a 22nd Bond flick, set to hit theaters May 2, 2008. Write that in your calendars, kids. The producers of the 21st Bond movie Casino Royale, which will open this November, say they are pleased as non-alcoholic punch with Craig's rougher and tougher Bond portrayal and they want to keep working with him. It sounds like a good plan, but I'm confused. Is announcing a future film before the previous one premieres some kind of innovative marketing strategy, a show of ballsy confidence that will somehow cajole people into seeing the movie this fall, or will Columbia Pictures continue to make Bond movies whether moviegoers like them or not?
Source: Coming Soon
I always heard that it pays to be an asshole, but I'm just not very good at it. Unless I'm driving. Warner Bros. will produce a film based on reformed nice guy Martin Kihn's unpublished nonfiction write-up "A$hole!: How I Got Rich & Happy by Not Giving a F#@% About You". Kihn's manuscript details how he rose through the ranks of a New York ad agency after shedding his passive personality for a more aggressive, take-no-prisoners approach to his work. Apparently the dickhead he became did not help his private life, however. Sounds like Kihn and Harvey Pekar should start a coffee club. Broadway Books will publish Kihn's story.
Source: Variety
Two-dimensional films are becoming SO fucking boring, don't you think? Sony Pictures Imageworks seems to agree with me, because they have tacked on a 3-D stereoscopic production unit to their facilities to be headed by senior producer Buzz Hays (just a good old American name right there). Hays will soon oversee 3-D enhanced versions of Monster House through Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures' animated feature Open Season. Before taking his current position, Hays spent a lot of years doing effects work for various outfits, including a stint as director of engineering for Lucasfilm THX. You can thank Hays personally for making your home theater system look and sound so good. Or you can envy his cool job. Whichever.
Source: The Hollywood Reporter Continue reading News Round-Up: 7/21/06
Fetchin' n' Steppin' for Some Drebin
Since I broke my cherry at TFL with some early Police Squad! DVD news, I figure it is my duty to pass on more detailed information about the impending release. Our friends over at DVDActive (Really, you should be our friends. Do you want to be friends? Just write "Ya" on the note and pass it back to me.) have the scoop from Paramount Home Entertainment about the November 7th debut.
Police Squad!: The Complete Series will feature the criminally short six episode run of the seminal (vesicle?) comedy TV show for the first time on DVD. For those of you who love bare-bones releases, I have two words. Screw. Off. This disc will include a new interview with Frank Drebin himself, Leslie Nielsen, as well as some behind-the-scenes footage, commentaries by series creators (and absurdist comedy masterminds) the Zucker Brothers on select episodes, a gag reel and possibly other fun stuff that has yet to be revealed.
Mouse-finger the picture above to check out the exciting cover art. I, for one, love Leslie Nielsen's mug, and I mean that in the most manly way possible. Isn't it funny that Nielsen used to be a serious actor? Now his image alone is a comedic selling point. Rock on Leslie.
Source: DVDActive Continue reading Fetchin' n' Steppin' for Some Drebin
Movies That Andrew Likes That Everybody Else Thinks Andrew Is Stupid For Liking - Part 1
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Against the opinions of movie critics, everyone on the Internet, two of the major deities and my girlfriend's landlord's pets, I like The Village. I even saw it again recently and felt exactly the same. What could be more entertaining than reading some poor sod destroy his credibility defending a lost cause?
The film tells a simple tale of simple folk living a couple of hundred years ago in a small village bounded by thick woods that are filled with monsters. It turns out (and you've either seen it or just don't care, so please carry on reading through the spoilers) that they are in modern times, the 'elders' dress up as monsters to scare the village into obedience because they all suffered terrible loss in the modern world and so retreated into a faux-utopia of the past, away from the evils of 'the towns'.The context a film is put in and the expectations of the audience play a huge part in how the film is viewed and, consequently, judged. How many people would have forgiven the dialogue and acting in Star Wars if it didn't have laser swords? Equally, how many would be excited by a story of someone dying very slowly if it didn't have sci-fi trappings, as The Fountain does? The Village is cursed with an immense amount of baggage, some brought by the audience, some brought by its advertising and some brought entirely by itself. I believe that much of the negative reaction comes from the baggage, and the act of stripping it away reveals a different film.
I believe that the film is a fable at its heart, which is to say a moral story that comes from the aural tradition of telling. They are stories aware that they are being told and that the reader/listener is aware are fictions, their characters creations to reflect certain aspects of the moral, their actions are 'acting outs'. This is a very different style of storytelling to the modern, naturalistic approach that emphasises realism and identification with the main characters.The Village, however, does not have an obvious main character, and begins with scenes of village life, showing us various characters - William Hurt's heavy-hearted elder, Joaquim Phoenix's soulful young suitor, Bryce Dallas Howard's independent blind girl, people cleaning, farming, eating. The focus eventually settles on to Bryce and Joaquim's lovers and, finally, Bryce alone, but the film's POV remains distant almost entirely up until Bryce's character takes her climactic trip into the woods. It is this observational POV that gives the film its quiet, understated tone, what tips the hat towards this being a fable, and specifically tells us that this is not a 'twist' movie.
The 'twist' structure relies on getting the audience to identify with one character, so that they will implicitly accept that character's worldview. This means that when that worldview is shattered by the twist, it comes as a huge surprise, and the film will play entirely differently a second time as the audience is no longer watching through the character's filter. This can be seen in The Sixth Sense most clearly, but also in films such as Fight Club and Memento.The Village does not do this. Having no main character means we, as an audience, are free, from the start, to question each character's worldview. This has the effect of making all of their actions characters beats rather than a game of second-guessing narrative points and of turning the film into a story about the village itself and, as such, a fable. The distancing of the POV, and the roving around the village to settle on little scenes with different characters, sets up a narrator's voice. It is the narrator's choices that lead you from scene to scene, rather than a protagonist's choices and the film could as well start 'once upon a time there was a village in a woods'. That is doesn't is something that I shall return to.
Why doesn't Little Red Riding Hood recognise the wolf in the bed? How can a kiss wake the poisoned princess? Why would the children wander from the path? These are not questions that we would ask of a fable because we know that the characters are representations rather than people, acting out positions of innocence, wickedness or blooming sexuality. The characters in The Village are the same. Why would the blind girl be sent into the woods, how could they seperate themselves from the modern world so effectively, how could those monsters fool anyone? These questions lose their sting when you watch the film as a morality tale about the fear of loss.
As everyone will tell you, The Village simply does not work as a 'twist' film and, beyond a few tense moments, does not function as a horror or a thriller. On those terms those questions become damning. The mystery becomes obnoxious, the twist becomes laughable, the crises of the characters manipulative and unbeilevable.
But why, ignoring the fools who expected some action-ride horror-thriller, ignoring the elitists and their joy in tearing down and ignoring the monomaniacal, the know-it-alls and the gossips, why would so many see the film one way where I would see it the other?For one, because of the advertising. It is no surprise that the marketing team would try and sell it as the most mysterious, frightening and exciting film possible, nor is it unprecedented for trailers to pretend a film is something entirely other than it is.
Another reason is audience expectation. Everyone knows Shyamalan is the twist guy and so will be watching his films for that twist. That coupled with a growing determination not to get fooled by his tricksy ways means he is damned if he does or does not. There is also an expectation that a summer blockbuster will play a certain way - be thrill-packed, epic, big, important - while his films have always been very small and simple in scope. Against such expectations, dissappointment will always be the result.
The final reason, and by far the most important, is that The Village was written and directed by M Night Shyamalan. Search Defamer.com for his name and you'll no doubt find pages of examples of hubris and self-mythologising. Equally check out Moriarty's review of Lady In the Water when he goes on at length (as is his won't and right) about the crap that surrounds Shyamalan before even beginning to talk about the movie.
Shyamalan is one of the most self-aware of the modern directors, more so even than Tarantino or Kevin Smith, using his films to sell his image as a master of the art. This unfortunately clashes with his genuine desire to make great films and his obvious ability to do so (hey, at least really good ones). He knows he is known as a 'twist' director and so makes sure to put twists in, even when he is aiming at a different type of story. He wants desperately to be seen as an important director and so edits his scenes to give them a slightly heavy significance, even though he also wants to tell a very simple story. He wants to have his cake and eat it. He thinks he can do everything at once. And so The Village becomes a schizophrenic film, moving in several different directions at once.He structures his film to work against the 'twist' ending, then includes a 'twist' ending; he wants to tell a bedtime story, and yet wants the respect afforded adult dramas; He wants to tella simple, emotionally open story, yet includes plenty of slick horror/thriller tricks; he wants to tell a fable, yet doesn't start with a 'once upon a time...'.
So while most focus on the entirely broken parts and ignore that which works, I was drawn to the fable aspects and found myself very taken with the movie, finding those endlessly retrodden faults forgivable, even ignorable.
Is this because I am gullible, am incapable of actually watching a movie or have the same, albeit nascent, megalomaniacal veiw of humanity as Mr Night? These are easy answers and, as such, unsatisfying. More likely is that the film does not judge these characters and their failings. The elders' decision to seclude themselves is foolish and extreme, but bourne of the terrible and understandable fear of the loss of that which they love most. To dismiss them as loons and so dismiss a film that cares for them is to miss the film's point - which is empathy. In this the film is very humane, and far more so than the jokey cynicism of Tarantino, the jokey sentiment of Smith or the sledghammer preaching of Crash and other 'issue' movies. It is in this that his true talents as a storyteller refuse to be swamped by his ego.The Village is a film that takes a very formal, traditional form and manages to infuse its archetypes with very palpable feeling. This, finally, is why I like the film and why, on these terms, I judge it a success.
And please don't take this as a recommendation to re-watch the film. If it wound you up when you first saw it, there's no reason why it won't do so again. The best, perhaps, The Village can hope for is a re-appraisal as the shakey beginnings of his move from the first oh-so-clever 'twisty' phase of career into a later, more mature part where he embraces the simple joy of the act of telling a story. While advanced word on Lady In The Water suggests it does embrace its storytelling more fully, only after it opens will be able to tell if it is a step in towards a flourishing of his true talents, or a step further up his very talented arsehole.
Continue reading Movies That Andrew Likes That Everybody Else Thinks Andrew Is Stupid For Liking - Part 1
Editorial: "X Must Play Y!"
As we all know, the internet changed everything about movies. Every micro-component of every film coming out is scrutinized by "experts," i.e. the nerds, who all think they all know who is the right person who play whichever character, be it the next superhero or the guy under the helmet in Halo. But do they really actually think about them aside from how they look?
Lachy Hulme is a great example. If you're saying "who dat?" you're in the same boat as most people. Hulme has had no real exposure besides a bit part in The Matrix Revolutions, has not shaken the Earth with news of his great acting, but most people have him pegged as their choice for the Joker in the next Batman movie. Indeed, great Bat-site Batman On Film recently had a poll where Hulme beat out Hugo Weaving, Paul Bettany and Jude Law for the role. Christ, the guy doesn't even fucking look that much like the Joker, so where is this coming from? At least we know Bettany and Weaving are both good at playing intense roles.
The next one has to go to Bruce Campbell. Let's be honest, Campbell is not the greatest serious actor in the world. He's a geek hero, but outside the nerds, no one knows him at all. While we were sniggering when he wouldn't let Peter Parker into the theatre in Spider-Man 2, all the other people were telling us to shut up, because they weren't in on the "joke." Nevertheless, Bruce Campbell has been dreamcast millions of times as Superman, Batman, every single Spider-Man villain, and all other kinds of roles. Rumours now persist he will be playing Quentin Beck aka Mysterio in the upcoming Spider-sequel. At least in that role, I think he would work. Beck is a loser, a big fuckup who wears a fishbowl on his head and is a huge joke. Don't get me wrong, I dig Bruce but he's never going to put on the Bat-cowl.
And then there's the others. Christopher Walken in Attack of the Clones. Mel Gibson as Wolverine. Brendan Fraser as Superman. Hugh Jackman as James Bond. We'll never really know if some of these were actual considerations for the roles (legend has it Fraser was when McG was on board) or if it's the downside of sites like AICN, where every rumour has as much chance as being the fevered imagination of a nerd wishing to become an internet "celebrity," as opposed to something with an actual basis in fact.
That said, here's my own unique view of who should play who. Granted, there isn't actually that much to choose from, re-casting aside. But I'm sure there's a few I can pull out of my hat.
Mel as Wolverine art by Don Higgins. I really am sorry for that last one. Really. Continue reading Editorial: "X Must Play Y!"
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Kong Love New DVD!
I'm trying to make Bill cover all the DVD news around here - I just don't have the patience/time/money to go over all that stuff - but here's one announcement I've been waiting for, so I just had to take it on. According to DVDActive, Universal have announced the Deluxe Extended Edition of Peter Jackson's 2005 remake of King Kong. Extended you say? That's right.
This isn't a LOTR-type deal, so don't expect an extra hour on top. Apparently, we'll just be getting fifteen extra minutes, probably of more monsters I'd imagine (there was at least one water sequence that was in the trailer that didn't make it to the final film). Honestly, I think the film needs a trim, but I still love it all the same. It got to me the way so many films tried and failed last year, and as bulgingly fat as it is, it's full of astonishing heart and beauty and true spectacle.
Here's a run-down of what we'll get:
King Kong Extended Edition: Disc One
* 2.35:1 Anamorphic Widescreen Presentation
* English Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Track
* Commentary with Director Peter Jackson & Producer Phillipa Boyens Part 1
* Sixteen Deleted Scenes (Totalling around 40 Minutes)
* English SDH, Spanish, French Subtitles
King Kong Extended Edition: Disc Two
* Commentary with Director Peter Jackson & Producer Phillipa Boyens Part 2
* The Eighth Blunder of the World Featurette
* The Present Featurette
* A Night in Vaudeville Featurette
* King Kong Homage
* Weta Collectables
* Selection of Trailers
King Kong Extended Edition: Disc Three
* The King Kong Archives
* Introduction by director Peter Jackson
* The Origins of King Kong Documentary
* Pre-Production Part 1: The Return of Kong
* Pre-Production Part 2: Countdown to Filming
* The Venture Journey Featurette
* Return to Skull Island Featurette
* New York, New Zealand Featurette
* Bringing Kong to Life Part 1: Design and Research
* Bringing Kong to Life Part 2: Performance and Animation
* The 1996 King Kong Video Gallery
* The Venture Video Gallery
* Skull Island Video Gallery
* New York Video Gallery
* Kong Video Gallery
* Arrival at Skull Island Pre-Viz Animatic
* Bronto Stampede Pre-Viz Animatic
* T-Rex Fight Pre-Viz Animatic
* Kong's Capture Pre-Viz Animatic
* Empire State Building Battle Pre-Viz Animatic
* Ann Disarms Kong Motion-Capture/Animation Comparison
* Kong's Capture Motion-Capture/Animation Comparison
* Kong in New York Motion-Capture/Animation Comparison
* DVD Credits and 1996 and 2005 Scripts (DVD-ROM)
As you'll know from the Rings discs, PJ is great with the extra features, so this should be a sweet package. Apparently, there'll also be a giftset with a Kong figurine, but if you just want the bare discs, it'll set you back $34.98, which in real money is around £25. The disc is released November 14th.
Source: DVDActive Continue reading Kong Love New DVD!
Pan's Poster
The San Diego Comic Con is the best place in the world for nerds to spend four days in the summer, and because of this, all the film companies descend on it like Kiefer Sutherland's gang from The Lost Boys, ready to peddle their nefarious goods to the fat girls in Sailor Moon costumes. We'll try and have a round-up of all the news from there at some point, but until now, click on the picture and gaze at the full greatness of this poster for Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth, drawn by Hellboy-creator Mike Mignola.
And then cry that it isn't available outside of San Diego.
Source: CHUD Continue reading Pan's Poster
Heroes In A CG Half-Shell
Did the turtles ever really leave our collective consciousness? Is there a day that goes by where we don't reminisce about Michaelango's pizza habit, Apri O'Neil's bright yellow jumpsuit with the zip pulled down ever so teasingly, or where the fat robot that carried Krang in his stomach really came from? No, I didn't think so, and luckily they're back in an all-new CG animated feature. And shockingly... it doesn't look that bad
Apple have the teaser for the film, co-produced by Warner Bros. and the Weinstein Company, and it's not bad. It doesn't really consist of more than the turtles running and jumping through the city, but the animation looks cool, and the city looks pretty evocative. Hell, I already like it better than Shrek.
Coming Soon also has the skinny on a few details from Comicon, so here they are with my best cut and pasting:
- Writer-director Kevin Munroe was present and revealed five minutes of footage from the anticipated film, which is set after the second live action movie.
- He said that the film will feature hidden jokes from the comics and animated series.
- Splinter will be voiced by Japanese actor Mako. The other voices will be announced in a month, but they are not well-known celebrities.
- Shredder is not the villain in the story, though he does make an appearance, which might set up the conflict for the sequel.
- Expect Casey Jones and April to develop a relationship.
- Marco Beltrami is doing the score, and they are looking to create a theme for the "Turtles" CG movies, something memorable like the "Batman" theme.
- One of the scenes shown features a turtle dressed up for a kids party, and the kids beat him up, with one of the little girls kicking him in the balls. A lot of action scenes were also shown, like the turtles on skateboards, hang gliders, etc.
- The movie features a bat character and female ninja characters.
- There is a human villain, who may or may not be named Winter.
Shredder not the villain? LAME. I just hope Krang and aforementioned stomach robot put in an appearance. It's nice to see Mako still getting work. You can't live on goodwill from being the wizard in Conan the Barbarian forever. It's just a shame Marco Beltrami sucks so bad.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is released in March 2007.
Source: Apple, Coming Soon
Continue reading Heroes In A CG Half-Shell
The Stargate Trilogy
You just can't get away from trilogies these days. Really, ever since Star Wars came along, Hollywood suddenly thought "wait, this is a new way to approach sequels, and we can make even more money!" Since then we've had the Rambo trilogy, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Star Trek II through IV was essentially a trilogy, and Pirates of the Caribbean is in the middle of a trilogy as we speak. Now Dean Devlin has got in on the act with Stargate, telling us the old George Lucas line, i.e. "we always saw it as a trilogy" and "We wrote the script to the first one, but had the other two in mind" etc etc.
Stargate was always the less mind-numbing of the Devlin and Emmerich flicks. It wasn't bad, despite having a lot of elements from Star Wars - I watched a documentary on the trilogy last night, and it had Devlin there going on about the film like a Christian talking about the bible, so it's no coincidence - but it also spawned a pretty terrible TV series. But Devlin says MGM were reluctant to do more films because of the popularity of the series, which is now in its 10th season, but they've changed their mind.
"We've always envisioned it as a trilogy," Devlin added later when talking directly to the press about the sequels. "'Stargate' was also supposed to be the first part of three. We had written all three, not the script, but the story, when we did the first one and due to the nature of how that film got made, and how MGM has changed so many times, and their commitment to doing the series, they've been very reluctant to do the movie. Well, under this new regime we've been in discussions with them and basically said, 'Look, one doesn't have to hurt the other. The series is doing great. Fans love the series, so much that it got a sequel. They may even be doing a third spinoff they're talking about. So it's alive, well and in good shape. But it would be great to finish telling the story we set out to tell 12 years ago.
Rumours that Jabba the Hutt will be making a cameo are, sadly, false.
Source: Coming Soon
Continue reading The Stargate Trilogy
Breaking News (possibly): The Joker Of Oz?
I'm not saying this is true by any means, but there's some hot news out there that we want to be on the ball about, just in case it is true. In case you need more info to get you interested, it involves an Australian guy, the next Batman movie and a nice big smile.
Yes, according to Latino Review, Aussie hunk Heath Ledger has been offered the role of the clown prince of crime in the next Batflick. Here's what they have to say:
We were first to tell the world that Brandon Routh was going to be the new Superman. Now here we are at it again as we just got word from A VERY TRUSTED SOURCE that the offer last night was officially made to Heath Ledger to star as The Joker in the Batman Begins Sequel!
This is good news. Ledger is an incredible actor, and Katanga was just saying he looks like Tim Sale's depiction of the Joker, and he's right, he does. This is good news. Just don't let David Goyer write it!
Source: LatinoReview Continue reading Breaking News (possibly): The Joker Of Oz?
Pixellated Rebellion - 7/20/2006
Welcome to the second edition of Pixellated Rebellion! I imagine you're gluttons for punishment as I tend to find the more annoying aspects of the gaming world and report them to you. This week we will take a refreshing glance at gamers as racists (again), tell David Jaffe to stop bitching, and possibly all get a terrible headache together because there is not enough alcohol and Mary Poppins songs in the world to make any of this news seem reputable.
SERIOUSLY, THE GAME WASN’T THAT GOOD
Peter Jackson howled with a merry laughter from his ivory throne of Hobbit skulls and platinum geek souls this week when he saw all the rumors and speculations for the new Halo movie explode onto the internet. Everything from the casting of Master Chief to the script getting rewrites and then the swatting of the casting rumors came into his all seeing glare of producer power. I imagine his response was to simply drink pure gold from his jeweled goblet and fall asleep for a few days because he’s been working for ten years straight. Most of the reactions were very fanatic and disturbing. Well, except from those of us not trying to devise an Xbox controller cable that connects directly to our urethra while we play Halo 2. All the people who don’t do that thought it was pretty boring.Gamers of the too-popular-for-its-own-good franchise suddenly became everything from mildly racist to expert scholars of the Halo expanded universe (which I didn’t know existed until three days ago please God help us). This respectable writer often attempts to avoid major fan reactions. Ever since the Browncoat War of 2005 and the preceding event only referred to as The Day the Internet Became Hate a.k.a May 19, 1999 I’ve kept myself locked within a specialized bubble of apathy and indecision. However, for this particular situation I felt obligated to see what you, the gamers, were thinking.
Let’s take a look:
From sd_142 at IMDb:
“isnt it a shame that master chief is white....sorry denzel cant ruin this movie”
From halopro032 at IMDb:
"i agree. if this movie blows, who do you think will do a crappier job? YOU. even if it does blow, they still tried. that's what counts
unless youre uwe boll. then about 5 movies in a row that sucked....sux.
people in hollywood need to listen to what the fans want, not just themselves."
From scorch_117 at Halo Fans
"BIG FU"CKING MISTAKE....DENZELS VOICE DOES NOT MATCH MC"S
SOMEONE else should be MC.......maybe VIN DIESEL or some one else that fits tall and very deep voiced.....DENZel is a good actor but wouldnt fit MC's shoes....ITS JUST NOT RIGHt...if who ever is in charge of the MOVIe would make i big mistake if they went through with this choice...BIG...and arnold suxs ass.....he hates video games soooo FUCK HIM...I hope he gets ass raped in prison"
From Paper_Sun at Halo Fans:
"Sorry to burst your bubble guys but "Denzel" is Black and the "Master Chief" is White.
I'm not being racist but I'm just pointing out a well known fact!
Also this is just a rumor, if anyone Denzel would be playing Seargent Johnson, because Johnson is Black!"
From accumuta at Gamespot:
“Apparently you've never read any of the books. Master Chief is IN FACT...WHITE. Not that we have anything against black people...but how would you like it if we had a white person play the part for Martin Luther King Jr. in a movie. No...didn't think so. It's called mis-casting not racism.”
From rykh at Gamespot:
“No denzel please, we need Bruce Willis, or Chuck Norris!!”
From Sketto at Bungie.net:
"The books said that he looked pale, not albino."
From TYME at Bungie.net:
"Black guys never look pale. That's like an oxymoron."
The lesson to all this? Chuck Norris references have broken the boundary of monotony and could now be considered the internet equivalent of a war declaration. Martin Luther King Jr. and Master Chief are not only both real historical figures, but they are also equal in importance. Also, black people are never pale and Halo fans are almost as fanatic as Browncoats, but no one pays attention to them so they're more like fans of Farscape or Andromeda.
A PLAGUE OF ELECTRONIC PERFECTIONISTS
Nintendo scared the obsessive compulsive gamers half to death this last week because of a tiny little defect in their DS Lite units. What's that you say? Pixels gone on the screen? No, no, that would make too much sense. Instead it seems that the left hinge on certain DS Lites are cracking slightly as shown in the picture on the right there. Yeah, I can't see anything without a magnifying glass either. This "epidemic" caused people all over the net to go pretty fucking crazy. No, this doesn't really effect gameplay or control of the portable device in any way, but it's still being considered some sort of Judas tactic on Nintendo's part. Their ingenious plan to sell the portable and give centimeter sized fractures on about 14% of them has been a success. Damn those Japoteurs!Nintendo has yet to officially explain anything about it save for some customer support talk. I'm not sure why they should, since it really is nothing but an aesthetic defect. This, I am afraid, is another case of the gaming community making something bigger than it actually is by way of internet overreaction. This happens with a lot of games and consoles. Often enough they are mass problems like the cable defect for the Xbox, lag problems and instabilities in World of Warcraft, or the random crashes and frame rate issues with Titan Quest. Problems that actually effect your experience and even your safety with whatever electronic you might be wielding.
But then there are the nothing plagues that seem to effect only a few and not really be a problem. This DS Lite issue in particular sounds like an unneeded complaint on the consumer’s part. I would be happy just to have a DS Lite on hand, and sure it would suck to have a crack but the chances of that effecting much of anything is highly unlikely. I doubt the guy with the moderately cracked DS Lite won't get that hot girl because she went for the jock with the near pristine PSP. That wouldn't even make sense since all gamers are asexual.
You can expect this to either be further ignored or Nintendo to reimburse everyone since Miyamoto is such a nice and wacky guy and no one will shut the hell up about it.
SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO WORK
David Jaffe, the game developer famous for creating God of War, realized recently that working is not really that fun, and that is probably why it is called work and not free fun time for money. The game director who comes off as a somewhat weasely fellow in the God of War documentaries detailed all his new views and pursuits in development and games on his blog, also known as Jaffe's war against formatting and normal thought process. The conclusion is that he wants to make games that are more just the interactive fun type and not instill any of that hindering story nonsense into it. Everyone else just wishes Jaffe would be quiet and make God of War sequels for the rest of his life.This doesn't come as a surprise to those of us who look at gaming news constantly and probably like God of War way too much. Jaffe has often shown a sort of reluctant disdain while working on God of War. Everything from his awkward comments at E3 relating to his boss to his disagreements with his crew during the game's development has shown that though the experience in making the game might have been enlightening, it was still a tedious affair. This increasingly tired writer would just like to point out that I have never heard of a truly creative job not being incredibly difficult, repetitive, or annoying. Jaffe for some reason seems to think this is only true to those games which present themselves with an epic story. In some ways this is completely wrong, since most of those Metal Gear Solid games feel like they have about 20 hours of cinematics and 2 hours of gameplay, making the actual creation of the game not as complex as the random storyline of ninjas and vampires voiced by Phil LaMarr.
He goes on to suggest that video games that have a mix of media, in particular games that seem to try and craft a good story, feel forced and aren't using the medium to its full potential:
"To me, most (all?) story based games are like taking a trumpet and playing it a little, but also using the brass exterior of the trumpet to carve a story onto a wall. Sure you can do it, and you may even have a nice story scratched onto the wall when you are done. But it’s not really what the trumpet is for and there are a hell of a lot easier ways to write a story. Plus, you’ve got this nice, shiny trumpet- which is now all scratched up- just sitting there, begging to be played, begging to be used as it was intended."
In some ways Jaffe is right. All those fun video games whose sole purpose seem to be innovative and enjoyable gameplay (most Nintendo DS games seem to be like this) usually have a lot of charm and replayability compared to the others who try to create a strong story or a video game movie mix. If anything they seem like the natural evolution of gaming. However, those story based games, evident with God of War of all things, can combine the interactivity with the story just as well as those that purely focus on it. To me it sounds like Jaffe is trying to avoid something that can be an influential challenge so he can be in a safe blanket of fun and simplicity instead. If anything this reminds me of Kevin Smith avoiding The Green Hornet movie for the sake of familiarity.
This sounds like a bad turn for Jaffe, actually, since the strong suits of God of War was more the story and cinematic presentation. The combat was fun but usual (save for the timed finisher moves and boss fights) and the platforming became annoying after awhile. Still, God of War 2 is on track with the designing crew of the last game that stayed behind, so I have a feeling only the most loyal of fans will shed a tear for Jaffe's departure from action adventure games.
XBOX LIVE PLAYERS ARE LIKE WILD JACKALS
Oh, dear. It seems that Microsoft lies to people sometimes. This is breaking news mind you. All of the scornful and deceitful lip service of Microsoft comes into the glaring light because of their broken Xbox Live promises. Often it seems that demos or Xbox Live Arcade titles will come about that never quite make their release date. A few weeks ago this was evident with the Prey demo, but now Microsoft and their Wormtongue-like lieutenant Major Nelson (he's not really a Major if you didn't guess) hopes to solve all your concerns, and this time they promise it is not a lie.It has been reported in the wake of Microsoft's new Xbox Live Arcade weekly Wednesday releases that they plan to do a similar release schedule for about fifty more Xbox Live Arcade games. Already they've released Frogger and Cloning Clyde with the much anticipated Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting on its way in the next few weeks. Amongst the fifty games such classic titles like Contra will be restored for the sake of the ravenous Xbox fan base. Indeed the users of Xbox Live are quite angry and bloodthirsty when it comes to not getting what they want when they want. Many fans have already been deceived when it comes to Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting and its release date, thus making them reluctant to trust the ramblings of Major Nelson or Xbox Live in general. I think that everyone should just relax and savor when the game comes out so you can pause it for all your friends when Chun Li does that helicopter kick. You know, so you can stare at her underwear in all its forbidden glory.
I'm not the only one who did that, right?
Anyway, Xbox Live's group manager Greg Canessa expects all this to be on a pretty regular schedule since they've been working on the content for some time:
"We've been working pretty much in secret for a number of months on Xbox Live Arcade Wednesdays - we did go dark for a little bit. That's part of the reason why we've had a little bit of a drought over the last couple of months on Xbox Live Arcade"
Apparently it was also added:
"...there may be a week that we skip and then a week where we release two titles."
In that week where they might skip I expect many an Xbox murder to occur in various fashions. Creepy killings in the gruesome vein of Se7en may become evident, complete with some crazed fan making his female victims have lesbian sex with a life sized Chun Li mannequin. At least, that's what I'd do.
Yeah, I'm sorry for writing that one too.
WORTHWHILE RELEASES OF THE WEEK
Super Dragon Ball Z (PS2) - July 18, 2006
As ridiculous and brain damaging the actual show might be, most Dragonball Z fighting games are actually quite good. The few that I have played have offered a good amount of fun about them even though they're incredibly simple. This title I expect to be at the very least rent worthy since it is made by the same glorious Japanese fellow who brought us the original incarnation of Street Fighter.
Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth (PSP) - July 18, 2006
I've never played the original Playstation version of this, so I really have no idea what it is about or why it's so popular. Judging from the cover and the moaning mouth of the anime female there, I'd as soon as expect it to be some obscure Hentai roleplaying game. Since I am too lazy to find out any further details I can only assume you should buy it and add it to the rest of your PSP UMD porn pile.
Jaws Unleashed (PC) – July 20, 2006
Judging from the actual reviews and reactions to this game, it seems that it's not worthwhile at all. In fact you should probably stay far, far away from it. But it is based on Jaws so you probably should get it because Charlie said so.
GAME OF UNHEALTHY ANTICIPATION
LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy (PC, XBOX 360, PS2, GC) – September 12, 2006
The first LEGO Star Wars was an unexpected delight. It had fun and simple gameplay, the chance to play as characters you enjoyed from the films, and a rather amusing adaptation of the prequel trilogy in LEGO form. All in all it gave you a fun way to waste a few hours. The sequel follows the storyline of the original trilogy and looks to provide the same fun as the first, but with a lot more gameplay options.
Everything from free roaming vehicles to the huge number of 60 playable characters seems to be shaping this next installment up into an even better experience. The developers also put a lot of work into making all the characters unique, giving you an excuse to play each one. Chewbacca will rip the arms off Stormtroopers while Darth Vader will force choke anyone in his way. If all the above wasn't enough, you get to mismatch and customize your own characters based on the ones in the game. Ultimately, it looks like LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy will give you more excuses to waste your time away come its release in September.
Well, that's the end of this Pixellated Rebellion. Come back next week when I don't fill out most of the column with quotes and we'll have something interesting because of Comic Con. Until then enjoy your cracked DS Lites and don't let those Japoteurs keep you down! Continue reading Pixellated Rebellion - 7/20/2006
Comics!
The problem with comic books is that the ink rubs off too easily on your arse. The other problem is that Hollywood is making too many of them into films. Here's a quick round up of some of the recent happenings:
As Charlie reported, The sequel to Hulk is actually moving forwards. Louis Leterrier is attached to direct and CHUD's giant cock, Devin Faraci, recently spoke to screenwriter Zak Penn who gave out some information on the direction he wants the sequel to move in. Said Zak:
"I think the tone will shift. We all loved the action [in the first one], and I like a lot of the creature stuff and I liked the performances in the movie. What I didn’t like was the father/son stuff. Honestly I didn’t like the dogs."
He also said:
"The other thing is that there’s something about the tone of the TV show – despite the fans’ insistence on going with ‘Hulk smash’ and all that stuff- there’s something about the man on the run with a dark secret, Jekyll and Hyde, theme that we could do more with."
While it is obvious from these quotes that Marvel wants to move away from the brooding drama of the first and towards a more action packed film, it is odd that Zak would bring up the TV series, which was, if anything, even more human-drama focused than the film. It also singularly lacked super powered villains for Hulk to beat up. These mixed messages means it is very difficult to get a feel for where the film is headed so all I can do is look to Zak's last script. Which was X-Men 3. Which sucked. Oh well.
Source: CHUD.com
Warners is moving very slowly towards making a film of Doom Patrol, a cult favourite that was always slightly too weird for the mainstream and, as a result, has almost no name recognition. TFL's comics man, Brad Millette, is currently waking up after his first night at Comic Con next to a Yu-Gi-Oh costume, so while he's busy wrestling with that crisis of lifestyle, I had to google Doom Patrol to find out anything about it. In conception the patrol is a giant rip-off (apparently just a coincidence, demand the writers) of the X-Men, which is as good a reason as any for why Warners wants to make this film at all, but the stories were far more surreal, taking in evil Da-Da-ists, living roads and fictional characters entering the real world. So if this gets made I guess we can look forwards to a brain-bending two hours of post-modern superhero deconstructionism that takes $10.75 at the Box Office, or a totally neutured, mainstreamed-up version that the mainstream will ignore anyway because no-one outside of the comic book shop has heard of the Doom Patrol. Oh well.
Source: Variety
Finally, the website for next year's Ghost Rider has gone live and you can watch the trailer, check out production diaries and find out the exact date it is going to bomb in the box offices of a hundred or so countries. Ghost Rider is the comic book movie they made to make all the other comic book movies look good. And so we have Nicholas Cage looking stiff under the weight of a terrible wig, a Ghost Rider who apparently has no neck, and genuinely appalling special effects where everything moves in straight lines. It is big of Ghost Rider to take this bullet, but it doesn't mean we have to by watching it. It's very telling that this film already has a rating, seven months before release - suggesting it is complete and just being sat on until a quiet space in the release schedules opens up to dump it. On the plus side, it does have Eva Mendes who is hot, and there's a good shot in the trailer of Cage falling off his bike and thunking his helmeted head of the front mudguard. On the negative side, everything else. Oh well.
Source: Ghost Rider
And while I'm here writing about comic book movies: please, please, please can we have more women wearing almost nothing? Comics are full of them. When I was younger I thought that's what comics were for. Thanks!
Day Of The Hills Have Eyes: 28 Weeks Later
We love horror here. Or at least I do. So, for your reading pleasure, here's the latest horror news for me to spit vitriol at, mostly nicked from Fangoria.
First up is news on the remake of Day of the Dead, one of the most underrated movies around. I wonder if this is the first time an entire trilogy will have been remade (along with Tom Savini's good 1990 update of Night of the Living Dead and the fun but empty 2004 Dawn of the Dead)? In any case, the cast has been announced, and while I'm not happy about this by any means, at least they're actually trying to take another crack at the film instead of just using the title and location from Dawn, i.e. just fucking cashing in.The film will again star Dawn 04's Ving Rhames as Captain Rhodes, all around military nutcase played by Joe Pilato in the original, where he spent a lot of time being a complete psycho before having his guts ripped out in one of the best makeup effects I've ever seen. Also onboard is Mena Suvari as Sarah (originally played by Lori Cardille). All I can say is, they should get Michael Ironside to play Dr. Logan. That would be incredible. The flick is directed by Steve Miner, who did a couple of the early Friday the 13ths and Halloween H20.
Following this is news of Fox launching a sub-company which by all accounts is to take under its wing all yoof-targeted movies, starting with the sequels to 28 Days Later (ironic seeing how a lot of this movie was ripped straight from Day) and The Hills Have Eyes and also the Revenge of the Nerds remake. The company, hilariously called Fox Atomic, will also release prequel comics for both movies. Apparently, the two comics - 28 Days Later: The Aftermath and The Hills Have Eyes: The Beginning - will be prequel-ish type things designed to whet your appetite for the films, currently called 28 Weeks Later and The Hills Have Eyes 2. Let's hope none of them have an annoying little kid that shouts "yippee!" in them.Unless they're prepared to give him a horrific death scene.
Source: Fangoria, Fox Atomic
Continue reading Day Of The Hills Have Eyes: 28 Weeks Later
Sacre Bleu, True Believers!
It's pretty common knowledge that Marvel didn't like Ang Lee's Hulk. So much so, that they're looking to reboot the franchise already and repackage it for the morons, as opposed to building on the incredible start they had. News has already floated through that Eric Bana has said he might be interested, but there's been no news of a director, until now. All you have to do is look towards the Eiffel Tower.
Yes, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Marvel have tapped Louis Letterier, director of the very good Unleashed and the very shit Transporter movies. He did very well in Unleashed, but then again, he had Jet Li for the fighting bits and Morgan Freeman and Bob Hoskins for the talky bits. Did I mention The Transporter was shit? It was.
Writing the flick is Zak Penn, a pretty average writer whose output has included the last two X-Men flicks, the excreble Elektra and Inspector Gadget, and overrated college thing PCU, really only notable for Jeremy Piven. He also directed some movie about Loch Ness which I hear is good and co-wrote the story for Last Action Hero, which was adapted by screenwriting god Shane Black.
Don't get me wrong, this movie could be good, but Marvel's treatment of Hulk as the mongoloid child eating fish heads in the attic is a disgrace, especially with movies like Daredevil and Elektra, and indeed X3 out there. I hope Eric Bana says no, if they ask him. He's far too good for Marvel.
Source: The Hollywood Reporter
Continue reading Sacre Bleu, True Believers!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
The Exorcist. With Tits.
This is another out of the blue deal. Either I suck at hearing about new movies, or Warners has kept this quiet. Either way, it doesn't really matter, as it looks absolutely shite and seems to be completely based around ripping off The Exorcist and transporting it to the South. A terrible movie from Dark Castle? I never would've thought it. The Reaping indeed.
According to the official blurb, The Reaping is about "a former Christian missionary who lost her faith after her family was tragically killed, and has since become a world renowned expert in disproving religious phenomena. But when she investigates a small Louisiana town that is suffering from what appear to be the Biblical plagues, she realizes that science cannot explain what is happening and she must regain her faith to combat the dark forces threatening the community."
Let's see. Missionary... lost faith... must regain it in order to do battle with evil... it doesn't even mention the little girl in the trailer. Now, where have we heard all this before?
That's right. For all intents and purposes, The Reaping looks to have swiped the plot from The Exorcist, lock, stock and barrel. Also, with its use of locusts as the devil's tool, Exorcist II: The Heretic, and if you've seen that movie, you should know it's a really bad idea to take anything from that flick, as it's like ripping off Jaws and then taking elements from Jaws: The Revenge. Warner have unleashed their really slow Flash website and trailer upon us, and it looks utter gash. I wish we could have a moratorium on the "high pitched building up to something" sound effect, as it's no longer scary, especially when used four thousand times during a one-minute trailer.
The film stars Hilary Swank and is directed by Stephen Hopkins, helmer of the absolute classics Lost In Space, A Nightmare On Elm Street 5, and Predator 2 (okay, that one isn't so bad). It's written by twin brothers/clones Chad and Corey Hayes, who wrote previous Dark Castle flick House of Wax, as well as episodes of Baywatch. As usual, it has nine million producers, but the only ones of any note are Robert Zemeckis, and that purveyor of class, Joel Silver.
The Reaping is released in November. I wonder if anyone really cares?
Source: Warner Bros, Sci-Fi
Continue reading The Exorcist. With Tits.
Grumpy Curmudgeon Has Spirit
What has Robert Rodriguez unleashed upon the world? News is filtering through that Frank Miller, famed comic book writer, co-director of Sin City and the man who wrote RoboCop 2 and 3, is preparing to helm the inevitable adaptation of Will Eisner's classic strip The Spirit.The Spirit is considered one of the most influential comics around, and began life in the 1940s, as an early man-in-mask crimefighter dispensing justice around the film noir-esque area of Century City. Creator Will Eisner is regarded incredibly highly in the industry, so much so that one of the major comic awards is named after him. I suppose it's apt that Miller take this on, as - like it or not - his Batman graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns has been a huge influence over the medium.
The film will be adapted by Miller, and exective produced by Benjamin Melniker and Michael Uslan, who have both been execs for every Bat-thing made since 1989. Someone called Linda McDonough and F.J. DeSanto are co-producing. I have no idea who they are.
Source: Variety Continue reading Grumpy Curmudgeon Has Spirit
I Love Hate Eric Bana
Why?
The beautifully well-endowed Scarlett Johansson will join the absolutely lovely Natalie Portman in the adaptation of The Other Boleyn Girl. They will be fighting for the affections and cock of King Henry VIII, to be played by Mr. Bana.
YOUSONUVABITCH!
All joking aside, I really love Eric Bana despite wanting to strangle him right now. I've said many times before and I'll probably say it many times again, the man was the bomb diggity in Munich and I hear he was equally bodacious in a little Aussie romp called Chopper (something I will hopefully soon see).
As for the two throb-inducing females, well, what can I can I say? I love 'em both. Scarlett carried herself marvelously well in Woody Allen's Match Point (and will soon be seen again in Scoop, another Allen flick) and Natalie was simply magnetic in Mike Nichols' Closer.
She played a stripper, by the way...
See?
The Other Boleyn Girl - being adapted from the Phillippa Gregory historical novel - will be helmed by TV director Justin Chadwick in London this Fall.
Watch your back, Bana.
Source: Variety Continue reading I
Ang, Lee
Ang Lee is starting