
Friday, October 13, 2006
Sho'nuff!

Showtime showers TFL with a little bit of television goodness...
Dexter, one of the new shows this Fall season is also apparently one of the best. A couple of choice quotes from our own message board denizens:
"I was incredibly impressed. Really great character set ups, I can't wait to see where it goes."
"Best show on television."
A breakdown of the show: Orphaned at the age of four and harboring a traumatic secret, Dexter is adopted by a Miami police officer who recognizes Dexter's homicidal tendencies and teaches his son to channel his gruesome passion for human vivisection in a "constructive" way—by killing only heinous criminals who have slipped through the cracks of justice. A respected member of the police force, a perfect gentleman with a soft spot for children, Dexter is hard not to like. Although his drive to kill is unflinching, he struggles to emulate normal emotions and to keep up appearances as a caring, socially-responsible human being.
The first two episodes of Dexter are now available online. This is great because I don't get Showtime (or any of the cool kid channels for that matter). But, for those of you who do, Dexter can be caught on Sundays @ 10pm ET/PT.

And in keeping with our Halloween@TFL extraveganza going on this month, there's also a brief preview for the upcoming season of Masters of Horror, which will feature the likes of Dario Argento (Suspiria), Joe Dante (Gremlins), John Landis (American Werewolf in London) and Norio Tsuruta (Ringu 0: Bâsudei).
Season 2 begins Oct. 27th @ 10pm ET/PT
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Halloween@TFL: Terror Vision, Weekend Edition

I'm back after a bit of a hiatus, but I'm bringing you the goods so quit your moanin'! This weekend you'll feast your peepers on giant sharks, aliens, and scariest of all Rob Zombie, but oddly enough not a Voorhees to be found.

AMC - On this most auspicious of days you can catch a few goodies on this channel. At 10:45 you can watch Anthony Perkins rip it up in Psycho II. Not as good as the original, but certainly better than the remake or the other sequels. If you miss it it's on again at 3:15am. Fred Astaire and John Houseman get haunted in Ghost Story at 1:15am.
Sunday the 15th involves the gnashing of lots of teeth. The original Jaws airs at 5:15 and 10:30pm. To this day I still have problems going into the ocean thanks to Spielberg and his shark friend Bruce. When 8:00 rolls around you can watch Jurassic Park. It hasn't aged as well as Jaws and lacks something on the small screen, but the raptors are still pretty damn cool.
Showtime - A little Lovecraft gets served up in Masters of Horror: Dreams in the Witch House (10:00pm). Director Stuart Gordon is a big H.P. fan having directed Dagon, Re-Animator, and From Beyond all Lovecraft adaptations. After that you can watch the serial killer who hunts his own in Dexter: Crocodile.
TCM - I'll tell you what Ted's little baby does it right come October. Tonight you can catch some serious spooks in their "That's the Spirit" theme. The Uninvited from 1944 starts it off at 8:00 followed by The Haunting (1963) and Poltergeist (1982).

The big news though is a new weekly movie special brought to you by Rob Zombie. Called TCM Underground it "will serve as home to some of the truly visionary cult films that have been made over the past century, from stylish horror movies to offbeat black comedies," said Tom Karsch, executive vice president and general manager for TCM. "We are proud to have a talent like Rob Zombie hosting this showcase, which is certain to broaden TCM's appeal beyond our loyal core audience".
At 2:00am every Friday night/Saturday morning you can catch these gems. Here's the schedule for it out to year's end! This week it's an Ed Wood double feature with Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) and Bride of the Monster (1955) Followed up at 4:45am with The Old Dark House (1932) and you have about ten hours of horror worth seeing.
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In Related News...

Extra value at no extra cost! Interesting links from around the web pertaining to this week's hottest stories! This edition written by the powerful and long-lasting Doug Slack!
The Grindhouse trailer has been making the rounds this week to nearly unanimous acclaim all across the internet. Strippers, Savini, and Trejo. Are you paying attention Hollywood Fat Cats? Give the geeks what they really want and they will come (in more ways than I care to detail). In the meantime, Tarantino fans (AKA- Good Movie Fans) can enjoy a rip-roaring new version of Resevoir Dogs this month. It's the 15th anniversary edition. I'm going to type that again for all the old heads. 15TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION. Resevoir Dogs is fifteen years old. To put that in some perspective, when it was released the original Star Wars was a mere 14 years old. Tarantino was fresh out of the working man's film school known as the video retail industry when he threw together his first film. Using a handful of cash and gallons of his own piss and vinegar he crafted one of the greatest movies EVAH, thus launching a long career that continues to redefine cinema and legitimize foot fetishes. And what have you done since then? Shot that Scorcese inspired epic yet? Written the great American novel? Gotten that promotion to Assistant Evening Manager? Well, at least you're the mac-daddy in the Halo circles. Check out all the info on the new DVD here. Then sit alone in the dark crying for the life you have yet to live.
The other hot as balls trailer tearing it up in cubicles and dorm rooms nationwide is Zach Snyder's machoerotic (Somebody call Funk and/or Wagnells, I've just invented a new word!) ancient war epic 300. Adapted from Frank Miller's super-realistic* comic book, this one finally looks like it's getting it right when it comes to sword and sandal flicks. Lots of yelling, fighting, naked people, and Nine Inch Nails. That song you hear on the trailer, the one that punches you in the gut so hard you shit your own intestines while pumping your fists in a righteous rage, is called "Just Like You Imagined". It's from Trent's 1999 The Fragile CD, a CD that sat around my house unappreciated for two years before I realized just how fuckingood (Funk again, another new word.) it is. Get it now. If you already own it, get it again.
You can also learn more about the 300 source material in this interview with Frank Miller. Recorded a few years ago, you can see the early signs of Frank's fascinating descent into raving street corner lunatic/self-loathing fanboy/public drunkard/Spike awards winner.
I would be remiss if I let today's date go unnoticed - Friday the 13th. Obviously I should dredge up a link pertaining to the greatest slasher series ever produced (Prove me wrong, fuckhead, I dare you!), but what? Well, it seems a lot of folks here at The Fake Life are totally queer for soundtracks. Personally I don't see the appeal. I own only one soundtrack- James Horner's Aliens - and that vinyl beauty doesn't get dusted off unless I'm also dimming the lights and romancing the ladies. Or myself. Otherwise, I have a laundry list of things I would rather do than sit around listening to "Requiem For Pookie" from New Jack City. The list includes activities such as Washing The Dog, Watching My Toe Nails Grow, and Eating River Silt. By the way, I keep that list in an envelope sealed with my own wax crest and deposited in a bank box in Detroit. For personal reasons. At any rate, here is a surprisingly interesting interview with Harry Manfredini, the man who scored the original Friday the 13th!"So if you remember the movie, there's a scene towards the end where there's a close-up on Mrs Voorhees' mouth. It goes between the sound of Jason saying, 'Kill her mommy!', then the mother's voice, and back and forth. So I got the idea of taking the 'ki' from 'kill' and the 'ma' from 'mommy', but spoke them very harshly, distinctly and rhythmically into a microphone and run them through this '70s echo thing. It came up as you hear it today! So every time there was the perspective of the stalker, I put that into the score."
Okay, so maybe it's only interesting to me and that guy working the gas station who wears the skull rings and the DIO t-shirt. Well, this is for you then, my brother in denim! Rock on!
*Historically Bogus
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News Round-Up: 10/13/06

Drama! Murder! Music! Excitement! John Goodman! Read on!

In somewhat completely awesome casting news, Sacha Baron Cohen is joining up with the probably ill-cast Johnny Depp for the adaptation of the best musical playwright ever's best musical. That is to say, Ali G is going to be in Tim Burton's adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's Sweeney Todd. The musical, which is incredibly great on all levels, is about Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street, a murderous man who teams up with a struggling chef to make mince meat pies out of people. It amounts to a horror movie musical, and it's right up there with Sunday in the Park With George as my favorite Sondheim musical.
My enthusiasm is a little stifled by Depp and Burton's involvement, though. I hesitate to doubt Depp as an actor, but he's the least likely Big Star to fit Todd's shoes, and that's without knowing if he can hit the notes or not. As for Burton, this is maybe the only musical that could be adapted to his style, so I see the reason that he picked it, and as much as I love his style, it saddens me that his style is probably going to take center stage over Sondheim's writing, but whatever, their involvement basically guarantees a new Todd film, so yipee!

Baron Cohen, an amazing improvisational actor (if you haven't seen Ali G, go watch you some, or at the very least watch the trailer for the Borat movie, it's awesome), will be playing Signor Pirelli, a competing barber, and frankly, Cohen (who has stage experience, unlike Depp [though how much that matters is debatable]) is perfect for the role. So look for the lyrics like, "'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir, that's what did the trick sir...IS NIIIIIIICE?". Also, everyone out there should get the new Broadway run of Sweeney's CD, now. Use the Amazon link!
Source: Coming Soon!

In news that I really don't care too much about, but sounds like a nice day at a film shoot, the entire cast of Dallas was fired, except for J.R. himself, John Travolta. Boy did he dodge a bullet. Get it? Huh? Anyway, apparently they want to make the film cheaper, and firing everybody working on it is probably a good start. My advice for saving money on this project: STOP MAKING A DALLAS MOVIE.
While I'm sure there are many fans of this hyper drama about rich people, I don't see a reason for it to be a movie. Maybe I'm not right for the source material, most of the show's run happened before I was born, and all that I've seen from it has been pretty awful looking. Oh well, maybe some exciting girl fights will happen right before Patrick Duffy wakes someone up telling them that it was all a dream.
Source: Coming Soon! (hopefully not)
And finally, the super great John Goodman is going to be with the cast of Death Sentence along with Kevin Bacon and Aisha Taylor (did you see her on Ebert & Roeper? Girl dropped some movie knowledge like I never expected from her). The film is a tale of vengeance against gang violence, and it's directed by the *cough* auteur behind Saw, so expect a bunch of inane devices causing people to kill themselves instead of being attacked by a clown or whatever that movie's about. The film's shooting in our very own Brad Millette's very own hometown of Columbia, South Carolina, so maybe he can take out his extreme hatred of Saw on the director, or maybe just stalk Goodman, begging for autographs for his immense King Ralph memorabilia collection.
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Geek Pin-Up #12: Soledad Miranda

A beautiful woman stares enigmatically off screen. She has long, jet-black, dead-straight hair, insolent yet sensual lips and eyes that express both heavy-lidded sensuality and existential despair at the same time. Then she writhes about on top of a bed post for a couple of minutes and lezzes up with a blond girl. Vampyros Lesbos (translate it yourself) is the Euro-Horror-Arthouse-Smut Classic from 1971 that made Soledad Miranda an icon and would have made her a star if she hadn't died in a mysterious car-crash before it was released. This film alone makes her our Geek Pin-Up of the Week #12.

Soledad mostly worked with director Jess Franco. As Dario Argento is to Hershall Gordon Lewis, Jess Franco is to Russ Meyer. He dealt in smut and cheapo exploitation films but gave his films a slow, dream-like pace and a sense of melancholy that gave the impression of them being very personal works. It's difficult to say if the minute-long drifting shots of young naked women writhing about on beds expressed Franco's inner demons or just his decision not to waste time cutting up footage that was already perfect (had naked women in it).
What is certain is that Soledad Miranda was central to the effectiveness of his films. She didn't say much, and mostly just wandered about looking sad or writhed about naked looking sad and horny, but she remains one of the most complex cinematic sex icons we have. There is something in her look and body language that gives the impression both of a confused, terrified girl, innocent and alone, staring out of a newly sexualised woman's body and not understanding how the world could have changed all of a sudden, and of an almost elemental power - like the combined sexual experience of a thousand years expressed within one perfect female form - old, wise, and with a look of apathetic contempt when faced with your meagre conquests.

A little bit goth, a little bit hippy, a little bit classy and a little bit utterly debased, Soledad Miranda, because her image is so complex, is actually just as popular a sex symbol with women as with men. She is, importantly, not just a docile sex toy or an unrealistic projected fantasy, she is dealing with her own problems concerning how to incorporate her sexuality with the rest of her life. She also writhes around naked a lot, and you can't argue with that.
I don't know if you were happy in life, Soledad, and I don't know the specifics surrounding your mysterious car-crash, but you were way hot and people are still copying your look. Avril Levigne, for example, and also Macarena Gomez in Stuart Gordon's Dagon.
So rock on, Soledad, and I hope you writhe naked on a bed in heaven.

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Unleash Hell, Boy

I haven't been watching very many films over the last couple of weeks because I have been mostly watching the Kingdom of Heaven: Director's Cut DVD, partly because it is great and partly because there's so bloody much of it. While I've been busy sitting on my arse watching it, the writer and director, William Monahan and Ridley Scott, have been busy actually making movies. Here's their recent activity:
Martin Scorsese's The Departed, currently number one at the box office and utterly fucking brilliant, was written by Monahan. William was born in Boston and raised an Irish Catholic so if all the colourful language feels believable, that's because it is real. If you think it's a bit much, then you obviously haven't spent much time around Irish Catholics. It's also a really lean, dense and well-structured script but, you know, the swearing.I'm a big fan of Monahan. He's one of those rare and fantastic big men who's personality fits their girth. He comes over as slightly intimidating in his interviews because he talks in the deep, steady, unhurried voice of someone who swaggers not because they want to prove how tough they are, but because their balls are just so big. He knows what he's talking about and he knows that he knows. Maybe he's an arsehole but, then again, so is everyone more talented than me.
I watched the John McTeirnan film Basic recently and one of the few special features consisted of the writer, James Vanderbilt, reading out large chunks of the script in order to prove how great it, and he, was. He came over, even on a special feature designed to make him look good, as whiny, narcissistic, wildly insecure, delusional and up to his eyeballs on coke. The film also blows though, hey, he told us enough times how much of it was re-written. He comes over as a boy to Monahan's real man.

Vanderbilt wrote David Fincher's new film, Zodiac, I film I am very much looking forwards to, so let's hope that special feature on Basic was just a mistake of youth. Or lots and lots of drugs. Monahan, meanwhile, has been busy too, adapting The Venetian, in which Matt Damon will play Marco Polo (who was from Venice and famously explored large chunks of Asia a very long time ago), a Louis Begley novel called Wartime Lies, The Gamblers, which tells the story of Lord Lucan, a member the English aristocracy who famously disappeared after his children's nanny turned up murdered and, finally, Penetration, which tells the story CIA operative teaming up with a Jordanian security operative to hunt down a terrorist in the Middle East and will be directed by Ridley Scott.
Not that Ridley has been sitting on his hands waiting for Monahan to finish this script. He has A Good Year coming out very soon and you can see the trailer here. It tells the story of rich city worker, Russell Crowe, rediscovering his soul, love and reason for living after inheriting the French vinyard where he grew up. The trailer will tell you it looks beautiful, but it is unlikely this is a film for spunky young geeks like you and me, dealing with mid-life crises and the problems of rich people inheriting incredibly beautiful patches of the French countryside and having incredibly beautiful women falling over him. I'm sure its wonderful, but I can't quite find a way of sympathising with problems like that. We can find out on November 10th.Ridley is currently shooting American Gangster, set in New York in the 70's and starring Russell Crowe again and Denzel Washington. This film was originally to be directed by Antoine Fuqua. Fuqua directed King Arthur. Ridley Scott directed Gladiator. This is an example of the world being a good place. The film tells the story of a drug dealer smuggling his stash into the country in the coffins of American soldiers who died in Vietnam. The film, then, should be a mix of The French Connection, The Deer Hunter and Bad Boys 2. Awesome.
Anyway, now I'm off to dig through the special features of the Gladiator: Extended Edition DVD, which is a film I was never that hot on but is actually (maybe because of the extra footage) one of the best full-on Hollywood blockbusters of the last decade. What will you be doing this weekend?
By the way, I know this is just really shameless plugging for DVDs made by certain companies, but this is genuinely what I have been watching recently and they are legitimately good. TFL doesn't expect any free DVDs or anything in return. No. Honest.

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Which Was Worse? - Part 1

Our co-editor Charlie Brigden just watched Batman Forever again and, once again, realised it sucks. I understand his pain. That desire to have more good Batman films (or just one completely good one, dammit) overcomes your reason and memory as you justify another viewing with 'Maybe it has aged well?', 'Maybe I have some perspective now?' and 'Maybe it can be enjoyed ironically?'. It doesn't work. The film still blows. Not done it with Batman? Well how many times have you watched the Star Wars Prequels? Don't look smug, I bet there's a crappy movie or two hiding in your closet that you can't quite let go of. We all have them, which leads, indirectly, to this new column.
Our pure and beautiful geek love for certain things means we are dashed upon the rocks of these abominations again and again. It also means we have a little more knowledge about crappy movies than we should and spend a little too long arguing about them on message boards. Well I say embrace it! Any fool can come up with a top ten, but only truly committed geeks can come up with a well thought-out bottom ten. I shall introduce two terrible films in each article and then you can argue over which is worse on our message board, seperating the 'worse than castration' from the 'better than a kick in the balls, I suppose'.
First up: Superman IV vs. Star Trek V
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier was directed by William Shatner after the previous two entries in the series were directed by Leonard Nimoy. The original story was by William Shatner. In the film William Shatner battles an omnipotent being and wins. I wouldn't dare suggest that this was a movie born more out of vanity than of passion. I will suggest that it is the worst of the Star Trek films, which puts it at a cinematic level slightly below spitting on your tv and watching it dribble down the screen.A low budget meant the special effects were knocked off and, often, stolen from the previous entries. The story, which has Spock's half brother taking over the Enterprise to find God at the centre of the galaxy, is enourmously pretentious, ham-fisted and, to cap it all, botched. Shatner's original script had the 'omnipotent being' actually be The Devil, but in the final film he's just an alien, represented as a hologram of a bearded man.
That's not to say that having The Devil in the film would have made it better, but it would have made it funnier. As it is the film takes the boring, unimaginative route, which it takes with every other decision too. The comedy is forced and low - Scotty after saying 'I know ths ship like the back of my hand', then bangs his head on an overhead beam! The plot either makes no sense - There are some Klingons running around mostly just becuase Star Trek films have Klingons in - or is hopelessly overwrought - Kirk gives a big speech about our fears, saying 'That's...what makes...us...human!'. The aging of the crew, so ably handled in previous films, is embarassingly glossed over here - Kirk climbs a mountain, Kirk's hair seems a lot more brown and lush than it used to be, skin is stretched tight and the girdle budget was more than the sfx budget.

Maybe these things could make the film ironically entertaining, but it's the amatuerishness of the execution that stops any fun dead. It is a lumpen, knocked-off mess of a movie that should never be watched ever but, predictably, it is one that Trekkies will still defend, saying that it captures the relationship between the main characters really well. If that sort of desperate 'looking on the bright side' myopia isn't worth our mighty scorn, what is?
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace also has a terribly worthy and ultimately daft plot, involving Superman collecting all the nuclear weapons of the world and throwing them into the sun, because that will solve all our problems won't it. Unfortunately Lex Luthor attaches a strand of Supeman's hair to one of the missiles and the resultant explosion creates Nuclear Man and him and Superman fight a bit until the film ends.Superman IV is a disaster. The original producers and star Christopher Reeve believed the franchise was dead after the overly jokey and mostly crummy Superman III, but Cannon Films bought out the rights and decided to make another, tempting Chris back only if they would make another film of his choosing and he could have story input. Chris chose to put all the anti-nuclear stuff in in order to make the film more 'serious' which, while well-intentioned, tends to stop any fun in its tracks. It also means that everyone was just doing it for the money. The problem was there was no money. What should have been a $40m budget turned into $17m and the results are painfully obvious on screen.
English new town, Milton Keynes - the butt of many jokes about how dull and soulless a place it is - was used as a stand in for Metropolis. The London Underground was used as a stand in for the Subway. In the space sequences you can see the black cloth backdrop actually moving in the wind. You can see the wires in the flying sequences. The list goes on and on. Here's a quote from Christopher Reeve:
"For example, Konner and Rosenthal wrote a scene in which Superman lands on 42nd Street and walks down the double yellow lines to the United Nations, where he gives a speech. If that had been a scene in Superman I, we would actually have shot it on 42nd Street. Dick Donner would have choreographed hundreds of pedestrians and vehicles and cut to people gawking out of office windows at the sight of Superman walking down the street like the Pied Piper. Instead, we had to shoot at an industrial park in England in the rain with about a hundred extras, not a car in sight, and a dozen pigeons thrown in for atmosphere."
Also Nuclear Man looks like a camp 80's wrestler. Try looking at this man without laughing a little bit. It was bad when it came out, and twenty years has done nothing for his fashion sense.Also there was around 50 minutes cut from this film, which renders the film mostly senseless and choppy. The last act mostly consists of Superman beating up Nuclear Man, thinking Nuclear Man dead and then Nuclear Man coming back and them fighting some more. I remember this getting boring when I was a kid, and if a kid doesn't like a superhero movie, you know you are in trouble.
Superman IV killed the franchise for nearly two decades, until Bryan Singer managed to bring it back this summer with Supeman Returns and then promptly kill it again. Amazingly, Star Trek V didn't kill its franchise and there have been five further entries, a couple of which are almost OK.
So, please visit this message board thread and decide which is the worst film. It's all up to you! The winner will then move forward into the next round where it will face another enormous piece of crap.

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Thursday, October 12, 2006
News Round-Up: 10/12/06

Superheroes, claustrophobics, and boxers, oh my!

Will Smith is already my hero and now he'll be a superhero in Tonight, He Comes. The news here is that Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights) will be directing the film about a "tortured superhero who crash-lands in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, and tries to transform himself by romancing an alluring housewife". He has three projects in various stages of completion. The Kingdom is about a team of US government agents investigating a bombing in, get this, the Middle East. The Mission is a remake of the 1999 Hong Kong film "Cheung fo". The Losers is a comic book adaptation that follows a revenge driven CIA black ops team.
Source: Production Weekly

I suppose if I were to be stuck in an elevator with someone for twenty-four hours I could do worse than Amber Tamblyn. The storyline of Blackout has her in there with two other people. No word on if any baby oil is involved. It's an "indie thriller" though so probably not. Aidan Gillen (The Wire) plays a psycho doctor, but if he's in there with her I'm guessing it would be a short movie.
Source: Hollywood Reporter

What can I say? I'm of two minds about this poster. It's simple, clean and iconic. It would've made a decent poster for the first movie. Instead they're using it for the latest unnecessary sequel to be rolled out. So I love it and yet I hate it.
Source: AICN
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Poster: Zodiac

I hate David Fincher. I really, really hate him. I hate his incredible visual style. I hate the way he manages to get amazing performances out of actors. Most of all, I hate his amazing ability to create movies that Stanley Kubrick would be jealous of.
This January, I'll have another reason to hate David Fincher, as he'll be unveiling an all-new masterpiece so he can gloat before us, and make me realize I should probably give up my dream of directing now. So with that, here's the poster for Zodiac, courtesy of JoBlo.
Based on the infamous serial killer who terrorized San Francisco in the 1970s, Zodiac is Fincher's first movie since 2002's Panic Room, and after several false starts (including a flirtation with Mission: Impossible III) he's back to show us just how much we suck compared to him.
The poster is a nice atmospheric piece, although I find it interesting they're not marketing it as "from the director of FIGHT CLUB," especially with the cult following that movie has, but it warms my cockles to see them write SE7EN properly.
On the side, here's a fascinating article on Fincher's attempt to make a film without the aid of the medium of tape. Great, great stuff.
Zodiac is released in January.
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006
"I also want your balls."

Footage from Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez' half of Grindhouse, was shown at the SpikeTV Scream Awards last Saturday here in Los Angeles at the Pantages Theatre. And naturally, somebody got the goods up onto YouTube. And believe me, it's THE GOODS. Check out the vid for yourself after the jump.
Rose McGowan, what I wouldn't do to you.
Grindhouse exploits your ass on April 6th, 2007.
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The Big Screen: 10/10/06

Let me start this week with an apology. Seems Blogger ate half my post from last week, leaving only the listings for the coastal metropoli. Hopefully, this week will make it up. We've got giant monsters in Chicago, 3-D madness in San Francisco, serial slashers in Philly, and much, much more.
Los Angeles:
This week at The Aero Theater, strap yourself in for high adventure with The Jules Verne Adventure Series: From the Abyss to the Stars, a program of globetrotting adventure films including both swashbuckling epics and nature documentaries. Among the hilights are a documentary about Devil's Island, the prison now buried by jungle vines like something out of a Tarzan movie, a 70mm print of Titanic, the documentary Explorers: From the Titanic to the Moon, which examines the careers of Buzz Aldrin and James Cameron, with Aldrin attending in person, and a film I barely remember seeing in the theaters as a kid, The Island at the Top of the World (didn't that have a blimp in it?). On Sunday, Rod Rodenberry and George Takai will be there in person to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Star Trek with a time travel triple feature of Trek, including the classic episodes City on the Edge of Forever and All Our Yesterdays and Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
Double features at The New Beverly Cinema this week: Star Wars references and fart jokes in Clerks and Clerks II, Infernal Affairs (the Hong Kong action flick that Scorsese's current The Departed is based on) and Wong Kar Wai's dazzling 2046, and John Waters' last great film, Hairspray, with the pretty entertaining Cry Baby.
At The Silent Movie Theater, the 1920 version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, paired with the truly disturbing Bunuel/Dali collaboration Un Chien Andalou.LACMA gets its tribute to silent screen siren Louise Brookes underway this week with screenings of Pandora's Box. You can also catch an early screening of Alejandro Gonzalez Innarritu's new film, Babel, if you act quickly.
Two great midnight movies at Landmark Theaters this weekend! Friday at the Nuart, it's Russ Meyer's psychedelic rock n roll boobylon, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, and Saturday at The Rialto, Shortbus director John Cameron Mitchell's transexual glam rock opera Hedwig and the Angry Inch!

But without a doubt, the coolest film event in Southern California this week is at The Mission Tiki Drive-In out in Montclair. Double Features on all four screens, featuring the scifi classic Forbidden Planet, Elvis in Jailhouse Rock, Zsa Zsa in Queen of Outer Space, and Vincent Price in the William Castle schlocker The Tingler! Admission is $100 a carload, but if you have a big car, you could probably fit a whole bunch of people in there. Especially if you hang out with midgets.
New York City:
At Film Forum, Bunuel's The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie. Great film to work up an appetite before going out for a big meal. That runs through thursday, then on Friday, Robert Altman's tale of gambling addiction, California Split, starts up.
The Museum of the Moving Image celebrates Star Trek: 40 Years of Fandom. There's a screeniMondayday night of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, so if you can find a temporanomalylie and wormhole back to last night, you can see it. Otherwise, just check out the exhibit in the museum and settle for screenings of Robert Aldrich's hardboiled noir Kiss Me Deadly, Rhyuhei Kitamura's insane female samurai flick Azumi, and Japanese classics like Rashomon and Tokyo Story.

The Brooklyn Academy of Music has a tribute to Monte Hellman this week, including the roadtrip classic Two-Lane Blacktop on Saturday.
San Francisco:
The Castro is showing Jayne Mansfield and Little Richard in The Girl Can't Help It, but the big news is the 3-D festival that's starting up this weekend. Friday night, it's a triple-feature of 80's 3-D flicks, Spacehunter, Jaws 3-D and Friday the 13th part III. Saturday, all three Creature from the Black Lagoon films (only the first two are in 3-D). And Sunday, House of Wax and Phantom of the Rue Morgue.
Chicago:
The Chicago International Film Festival is well under way as you read this. The BIG news, as far as this column is concerned, is that Chicagoans are going to get to see the new giant monster flick from Korea, The Host, this Friday night (with another chance next Wednesday), and Darren Aronofsky's masterpiece-or-disaster-depending-on-who-you-ask The Fountain next Monday. Look through their website and you'll probably find a few others that interest you.

Philedelphia:
At the International House this friday, an 80's slasher tripple feature: Sleepaway Camp, Graduation Day, and Wacko! Also, check out Spike Lee's debut comedy She's Gotta Have It on Thursday.
Minneapolis/St. Paul:
The Walker Arts Center continues the Heroic Grace program of classic martial arts films with the film that must have one of the greatest titles of all time: Dirty Ho. Also check out Lau Kar-Leung's Legendary Weapons of China.
Saturday's midnight movie at The Uptown is the dazzling botched sexchange glamrock opera from the director of Shortbus, Hedwig and the Angry Inch (the best film of the 21st century, if you ask me).
Austin:
I've given up on trying to include The Alamo Drafthouse on these lists. They ALWAYS have something interesting showing, and they also seem to do a good job of community-building, so it's likely that if you're a film geek within driving distance of Austin, you know what's going on there. But I have to bring this one up: Quentin Tarantino in person to introduce the unedited, full-blown version of Kill Bill. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be there!Discuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading The Big Screen: 10/10/06
I Wanna Be Bio-Pic'd

The Ramones are one of the greatest rock'n'roll bands in history. This is scientific fact, and you'll find it in the Encyclopedia Britannica, as well as scrawled on various historically-preserved toilet walls in NYC. As such, it's not surprising someone wants to make a movie about the band, especially with the band's notoriety and embracing of rock cliches (drug/alcohol abuse, inter-band girlfriend stealing). However, I didn't expect the guy behind Everybody Loves Raymond to be the one to get the ball rolling.
I've seen that sitcom a few times, and it's pretty middling stuff, even with the greatness of Peter Boyle. But then again, great things have come from mediocre, so let's hope the same can happen with Rory Rosegarten, the unfortunately-named individual who has gained the rights to "I Slept With Joey Ramone," the bio written by Joey's brother, Mickey Leigh, and the guy with a name Rory Rosegarten would kill for, Legs Mcneil.
Apparently, they've also got the rights to the band's music, as given by Mrs. Ramone aka Charlotte Lesher. You might have seen that one of the many popular shows I don't watch, Entourage, also had a storyline about a Ramones movie. Of course, this kind of thing always leads to fantasy casting, but R. Lee Ermey as Johnny, I'm dry out of ideas. Sadly, since Carel Struckyen shuffled off this mortal coil, I also have no idea who could possibly play Joey.
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Fade In To Black Man

You may remember a while back when our own Carlton Stevens reported on the rumored casting of Terrence Howard in the upcoming Iron Man film from Marvel and Paramount. You may even remember the very same picture, since I'm too lazy to find my own. Well, the months of sleepless nights and heavy drinking can finally end. Variety confirms Howard for the role of James "Rhodey" Rhodes
"The Jon Favreau-directed film is the first to be financed through an arrangement that Marvel Studios formed with Merrill Lynch. Paramount Pictures releases the film May 2, 2008.
Howard will play Jim "Rhodey" Rhodes, the confidante of Iron Man's alter ego, Tony Stark. Rhodes, a high ranking military officer and aviator, steers the team that develops the robotic suit that allows the sickly Stark to fly around and battle bad guys."
So now, in addition to Robert Downey Jr. playing the titular character (That would be Iron Man, for those of you assuming I was making a boobie joke), we've got Hustle & Flow star Terrence Howard playing what will likely be the main supporting role. That's two really remarkable actors in one film about a guy that wears an iron lung with guns on it and blasts the Commies straight back to Mother Russia. And that's not even mentioning the fact that the whole thing is under the direction of Jon "I Deserved a Better Movie Than Daredevil" Favreau, who is quickly showing that he's got an eye not only for comedy and drama, but for big sci-fi spectacle, as well.
Does that mean the movie is going to be brilliant? No, it's no guarantee. There's still enough time for them to screw the whole thing up by having like, Nickelback do a theme song.
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Ghost Director

Mark Steven Johnson, director of the upcoming Ghost Rider, has been answering online critics over at Superhero Hype! and I am writing my second article in as many weeks for a film everybody on this site thinks will be utter cock. But it is not that Mr. Johnson has made a crappy film (or two - nevar forget Daredevil) that's the problem here, it's that he's trying to appease Ghost Rider fans.
This is a huge mistake, and deeply embarrassing for Mr. Johnson. Read!:
"First, the TRANSFORMATION. Ghost Rider is a PG-13 movie, albeit, a very intense PG-13 movie. The MPAA governs the movie trailers as well. And one of the rules is that you can't show people on fire in a PG-13 trailer. Obviously, this presents a problem for us. So for the fans who have wondered if that's all there is for the transformation -- God no. Not by a long shot. But that's all we can show. In fact, we had to cut many shots out of the trailer for being too intense or horrific."
Yes, it's the hoary Internet cliche that darker and more violent is better. Also:
"by the end of the film Blackheart will evolve into his BEAST form...It's not exactly the comic, but it's closer, demonic, and spikey!"
And:
"There will be multiple images to sell the movie. Some will be about the love story, the Beauty & The Beast, while others will be hardcore Skull shots."
Hardcore Skull shots. With a capitalised 'Skull' too. The approach here is that Mr. Johnson is one of them, one of the comic book fans, one of the good guys. All this crap that they are seeing is just the marketing department trying to sell it to homos, emos and things called girls.

There's a famous piece of advice that tells an artist that he shouldn't talk to the audience unless he wants to end up sitting with them, and the best example of this is The Simpsons' episode where Homer's long lost brother lets him design a car and Homer designs such a piece of crap that his long lost brother goes out of business. Fans know what they like, but don't know anything else, they have no perspective and no understanding of 'why' what they like works, only that it does and that they want more of it to the exclusion of all else. If you start gaining perspective, start seeing your favourite stories in a wider context, start seeing how the violence only works if it is juxtaposed with moments of levity or 'relationship drama' (another quote: "the HUMOR. Ghost Rider is not a jokey movie. It just has humor to balance the intensity"), then you stop being a fan.
Being a fan is a state of elective myopia. Listening to them or, worse, pandering to them will only lead to a deformed monstrosity like 'The Homer'.
It's creepy when Joss Whedon preaches to his congregation like a Nerd-Moses, it's depressing when Kevin Smith argues with talkbackers on Ain't It Cool News, and it's mostly just a little sad to see Mark Steven Johnson desperately try and prove that the film has the sensibility of a 13 year old glue-sniffing headbanger in order to keep the denizens of SuperheroHype happy.
Now, Mr. Johnson is not having a very happy time with his career. Daredevil barely scraped into the 'success' bracket, but still severely underperformed and marked for many the moment when the guaranteed-success sheen of comic book movies, post X-Men, started to fade. And it was fucked with relentlessly by the studio. And it was rubbish. Ghost Rider has been delayed repeatedly, suffering, perhaps, from the same problems as his previous film, and will now reach screens in the traditionally dead months of early 2007 (no-one goes to the cinema in early Fall or after new Year's, so that's when studios dump their crap). Mr. Johnson is a man who would do anything for a success (someone with IMDB Pro can tell me what his 1 'in dev' film is). I'm going to assume that this includes humiliating himself by begging mouth-breathing Ghost Rider fans that the film is going to be teh awsum.
But this does assume that he is only playing the part of a roxxors skull-fetishist for the crowd. I am assuming this because the alternative is that he really does take Ghost Rider seriously. This would be awful. I really hope that he's also on LiveJournal somewhere writing 'don't worry about all that skull and fire stuff - I just put that in to appease those stupid headbanger boys. This film is full of heart and tragic love and I cried everyday on set when I was making it. Hey you guys, go see my movie!'.
This debasement of all integrity and dignity would still be better than if a genuine Ghost Rider fan had made the movie. You can not let the lunatics take over the asylum. A revolutionary, if he is to succeed, must become a politician. And if you let the fans make comic book movies, you get Spawn, only worse.
While we wait until Ghost Rider's 2/16/07 release, you can lay bets on how many more articles we will run about a film none of us actually want to see.

(Check out the trailer here to see the Ghost Rider looking considerably worse in motion than on the above poster)
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