Friday, November 03, 2006
DVD Invasion - Week Of 10/31/06
Based on the anemic crop of releases this week, I get the feeling the studios don't have much faith in our ability to get out and buy their products around the Halloween holiday. Maybe they envision us sitting prone on a sofa, listless from the piles of caramel and chocolate candies we've ingested for days on end and unwilling to go spend money on movies. Maybe they think we only like miniature Psychlos with good hair. Behold/Sigh...
Mission: Impossible IIII'm tempted to go off on Cruise some more, but why bother? The Mission Impossible series has been mostly underwhelming. They are full of elaborate action scenes and, much like the lesser Bond films, bereft of any reason to care about the characters or story. This one pits IMF's lead agent, Ethan Hunt (Cruise), against a ruthless weapons dealer (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, fresh from his award-winning turn in Capote). Hunt must rescue an associate and try to steal a dangerous device that threatens world peace with the help of his support team, led by series regular Ving Rhames (of the Dawn of the Dead remake). Brittle beauty Michelle Monaghan (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang) plays Hunt's wife, who knows nothing about her husband's real job. Billy Crudup (Almost Famous) and Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Match Point) also star. My interest will self-destruct in ten seconds.
This two-disc special edition contains the following features:
* Commentary by Director J.J. Abrams and Actor/Producer Tom Cruise
* Deleted scenes
* The Making of the Mission
* Tribute Montage: Excellence in Film
Exclusive features for the Two-Disc Collector's Edition:
* Mission Action: Inside the Action Unit
* Visualizing the Mission
* Inside the IMF
* Mission: Metamorphosis
* Scoring the Mission
* Launching the Mission
* Moviefone Unscripted: Tom Cruise/J.J. Abrams
* Tribute Montage: Generation: Cruise
* Photo gallery
* Trailers
If you would like the single-disc edition instead (its features match those of the first disc in the above release), check it out here.
Keeping Up With The SteinsIf children of different faiths had only one reason to envy Jewish kids, it would be because of the bar/bat mitzvah celebration, the public acknowledgement of the time a boy or girl becomes a responsible member of the Jewish faith. The party that usually follows this designation includes a hefty allotment of gifts and/or cash for the lucky kid, depending on the resources of his or her parents and family. In Keeping Up With The Steins, Jeremy Piven (Old School, Grosse Point Blank) stars as a talent agent and father who wants to give his son a big party for his bar mitzvah. Unfortunately, he feels the need to compete with his bitter enemy, played by Larry Miller (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang), who just threw a huge bar mitzvah party for his own son. The kid would prefer to drop the whole thing, but his dad won't let it lie. Jami Gertz (Twister, Less Than Zero), Daryl Hannah (the Kill Bill movies) and comedy veteran Garry Marshall (brother of Actor/Director Penny Marshall and father of this film's director, Scott Marshall) get in on the fun.
HANUKKAH 8, CHRISTMAS 1 features include two commentary tracks by (a)Director Scott Marshall and Writer/Producer Mark Zakarin and (b)Director Scott Marshall and Actor Garry Marshall, some deleted scenes and the Keeping Up With the Steins behind-the-scenes featurette.
Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in AmericaDid I mention how shallow this week's pool of movie choices was yet? Sincerely, I have no reason to tout this movie, which tells you all you need to know in its six word title. I could go on a short rant about how irresponsible some of these current events movies can be by distorting facts and whipping up unnecessary anxiety among the viewing public, but I can't be bothered with it right now. No one is scared of this bird-brained disease. Why not make a movie about rats that carry a plague that causes blood-filled pustules to form in your armpits? I know, that's too fantastic, right? How about one with a disgusting sex creature that gives everyone herpes? Oh wait, Colin Farrell would probably sue. I know I know. A film about a disease that makes people develop powerful monkey arms. It could be called Attack of the Banana Punchers! (thanks for the idea, Rob). Joely Richardson (Event Horizon, Nip Tuck), Ann Cusack (sister of John Cusack) and Stacy Keach (Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams) lend their talents to this bit of forgettable propaganda.
The special features have been disinfected for your protection.
It's A Wonderful Life - 60th Anniversary EditionFor some people this movie is the ultimate life-affirming experience and the very embodiment of what makes the Christmas season so special. For me, it's a reminder of how much I prefer Jimmy Stewart's work with Alfred Hitchcock. I don't mean to discount the quality of the film, because it can be quite moving to watch. It's just not my favorite holiday film. That would be A Christmas Story, which probably indicates how much of a slave I am to my generation. Paramount has provided a new video restoration for this edition, which sounds like a significant improvement over previous versions, according to early reports. Ignore Amazon's error about this film being presented in color. It's not true, the film is still in glorious black and white.
Special features for this release match those from the previous edition and include "The Making Of It's A Wonderful Life, A Documentary" featurette hosted by Actor Tom Bosley, "A Personal Remembrance, A Special Tribute To Frank Capra" narrated by his son, Frank Capra Jr, and the original theatrical trailer.
The Filler:
Next week: The holiday buying season really starts to pop with the first two volumes of the James Bond Ultimate Collection, the first appearances of Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place on DVD (I can't wait to ridicule bad hair styles), The Transformers Movie - 20th Anniversary Edition, The Sopranos 6.1, Police Squad! - The Series and much more.
Discuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading DVD Invasion - Week Of 10/31/06
In Related News...
Believe it or not, there's more to the internet than The Fake Life. I've sifted through the chaff and present you with the wheat. Take it from my torn and bloody hands and feast upon the fruits of my labor.
TFL wrapped up it’s month long salute to all things horrific in film, but I’ve still got a couple of leftover popcorn balls of fun for ya. First up is Cinematical’s list of the seven best black and white horror movies. Not ten. Not five. Seven (or as the kids like to type it, se7en). This list isn’t just awesome for the way it reveals how b&w helps these flicks achieve artistic greatness. Nor is it awesome for it's shocking disregard for lists that hold a strict adherence to the multiples of 5. It’s awesome because I’m in total agreement with it and I hate reading shit that disputes my own genius opinion. Who’s got time for that? - SCARY!
And for all you Fango reading, Motorhead listenin’ gorehounds out there, I give you every Friday the 13th kill in chronological order. Much like the Mona Lisa, this really needs no further introduction. - SLASH!
Way back on Tuesday, Scott broke the news that Mel Gibson is too old for action movies. He then broke the news that Scarlett Johansson is hot and George Takei likes men. We here at TFL are committed to keeping you in the know! Anyhow, the jew hater be damned, director George Miller talked about his ideas for the stalled Mad Max sequel, Fury Road. Just kind of breeze past all that crap discussing his new cartoon about gay penguins or something. The good stuff’s near the end. Look, I love love love the Babe movies like a fat kid loves loves loves cake, but this Happy Feet thing is enough already. Get your ass back to the desert and blow up some cars, George. Do it for me. Do it for this guy.
Read all about it here!
Somebody must have put an extra Babe Ruth in Scott’s pay enevelope, cause he’s on top of all the news this week. Here he fills us in on a new project from Kubrick’s son-in-law. As soon as this flick starts casting, maybe they can look this guy up. He was totally robbed by Modine back in the 80’s. Now it looks like he's comin' back strong!
Source: IntertronDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading In Related News...
News Round-Up: 11/3/06
Killers! Trailers! Spiders! Sheep-ers!
Schadenfreude Alert! Chris Moore, who was a bastard to so many aspiring film-makers in Project: Greenlight will now be making his debut as a director on Killers. Tick off the cliches as you watch a film about a group of college students who travel to a remote location and then are terrorized by a killer who makes them play a game where they have to kill each other if they want to survive. Expect an unexpected twist. -- Andrew ClarkeSource: The Hollywood Reporter
A Spider-Man 3 trailer will likely be attached to Casino Royale (mid to late November depending on where you live), but according to SHH readers - if you can stomach watching MTV - it will be on next Thursday between 10-10:30PM during MTV's The Duel. I'm sure that whatever this Duel thing is it has nothing to do with music so maybe you should TiVo and skip past the drek that surrounds it. A second trailer will probably also be attached to Ghost Rider in February. And finally, although this is just a rumor and a Bruce Campbell one at that (so take it with a salt dome) he might be making a cameo appearance as Fish Bowl Man aka Mysterio. I think that's a pretty genius choice, and not so much because I'm a gargantuan Campbellite. Mysterio should only have a cameo, each Spider-Man movie should have a brief second or third tier villain cameo, and who better to play some flashy special effects wizard? -- Scott RocheSource: IGN
The Weinstein Company is picking up Black Sheep. We reported on the zombie sheep movie previously and now it looks like we'll get to see it. "IFC will handle theatrical release on its First Take label; TWC will release on DVD through its Genius Products homevid arm." No word on when, but dude... zombie sheep - $7.50, six pack - $8.00, laughing at crazy kiwis - priceless. -- Scott RocheSource: Variety
Three trailers are now available for your critical and discerning eyes. The first probably won't require either as it's a preview of The Punisher's Extended Cut DVD, a movie that needed anything but extending to be considered anything less than shit. Secondly, is a trailer for Evan Almighty, a sequel to another terrible comedy, but one perhaps worth taking a chance on since it stars Steve Carell who has proven to be OMGSOAWWSUM. And lastly, Jerry Seinfeld is back with a film called Bee Season, which to be perfectly honest, looks really really fun. -- George MerchanSource: VariousDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading News Round-Up: 11/3/06
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Small Man Sticks Huge Boot Up Old Man's Ass
Tom Cruise, this year's primo horror story for aspiring publicists all over the world (okay fine, all over Santa Monica and La Cienega) may in fact have the last laugh when all is said and done. Cruise/Wagner Productions has made a deal with MGM to resurrect and control the long dead United Artists.
Somewhere, Sumner Redstone is spinning in his grave. Oh, wait.
From Reuters: The partnership, under which Cruise would star in and produce films for UA with his production partner, Paula Wagner, comes about two months after the bitter end of Cruise's 14-year production deal with Paramount Pictures. Wagner will serve as chief executive of the United Artists.
Cruise and Wagner will exercise control over United Artists' production slate, from development to the ability to commit financial resources to new pictures, MGM said in a statement announcing the deal. The new UA will be located in Los Angeles.
Cruise, whose latest film, Paramount's "Mission: Impossible III," grossed more than $390 million worldwide, will still be available to appear in movies for other studios under the new deal.
The reconstituted UA will start out with a production slate of about four films a year, MGM said.
"The talent friendly studio will be reborn as a place where producers, writers, directors and actors can thrive in a creative environment," MGM said in the statement.
United Artists was originally founded 87 years ago by silver screen legends Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks, and pioneering director D.W. Griffith. The original intention of UA was to try and bring back power and control to the artist. Some notable films made possible by UA were The Beatles' A Hard Day's Night, Blake Edward's Pink Panther series, the joint Spaghetti Western ventures of Sergio Leone and Clint Eastwood, and the James Bond series. Of course, like good intentions tend to do, they turned to shit. Eventually.
Enter irony: After the whole Heaven's Gate debacle of the late 70s/early 80s, the paradigm shift began, and the Hollywood machine slowly began regaining the power and control from the artist in order to prevent anymore Heaven's Gates from ever happening again.
Enter more irony: This year's Mission: Impossible III (Budget: Approx. $150m) and Superman Returns (Budget: Approx. $250m), in monetary terms, are examples that history is potentially repeating itself and that Hollywood is headed towards a similar situation like that in the early 80s. Halo, a now just currently killed film, was reportedly budgeted at anywhere up to $200 million dollars. FOR A FIRST-TIME DIRECTOR.
What does this all mean? I'm not really sure so I'm just presenting the facts. The artist regaining control is all a fine, dandy, and romantic notion. But of course, it's all PR speak too. What's really going to happen? More self-indulgent, self-important films with little to no restraint on spending? Who really knows? Maybe it'll be the start of a new Golden Age here Hollywood? And why in the name of Old Men Who Are Not Yet Dead Everywhere am I asking so many goddamn questions?
Source: ReutersDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading Small Man Sticks Huge Boot Up Old Man's Ass
News Round-Up: 11/2/06
Wesley Snipes and Stan Lee will be starring, Hosting, and doing their own stunts in Spike Lee's upcoming Unneeded Sequel which will showcase post-apocalyptic cities, Running Zombies, and possibly whiny nerds.
Wesley Snipes is ready to give himself up to the feds. Variety reports that he's reached an agreement with the IRS that - "...will likely see Snipes surrender to federal authorities when he next returns to the U.S. In return for agreeing to a payment plan, Snipes will not be jailed and will be allowed both to continue working and to travel abroad."
I don't believe for moment this is over. We're sending the TFL cameras to the airport when Snipes returns from shooting Gallowwalker in Namibia. We fully expect a spectacular escape as Snipes shoots down at least three agents while using the fourth as a human shield. Right before hurling himself through the window and safely landing on a cart of soft luggage, he'll snap the neck of a woman waiting in line at the Starbucks kiosk. Just because he can. Take that, Uncle Sam! -- Doug Slack
Source: Variety
After obliterating its own catalog of monsters via Van Helsing, Universal has bought the rights to remake the Korean monster flick The Host. Keep in mind, The Host hasn't even been released yet. We here in the Colonies won't see it in theaters until January. That gives Universal two and a half months to film and release its own bastardization. Get crackin', guys! -- Doug Slack
Source: Kung Fu Cult Cinema
Face front for some pulse-pounding Spider-Man 3 news, true believer! Stan "The Man" Lee himself revealed his cameo in the webhead's third installment is an actual speaking role. But that's not all! Smilin' Stan talks to none other than Peter Parker himself! Holy Hannah! Excelsior! 'Nuff said! -- Doug Slack
Source: Film Threat
Inside Man may be getting a sequel. Director Spike Lee and Producer Brian Grazer are officially 'developing' the new film after the first was successful and really good too. Absolutely no news on which characters would return or why, really, they need to. -- Andrew Clarke
Source: Variety
Raw footage from 28 Weeks Later has hit the net, courtesy of Fox Atomic. And though only glimpses of its potential goodness are evident, one thing's for sure: It already looks umpteen times better than the upcoming Day of the Dead remake. -- George Merchan
Source: FoxAtomicDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading News Round-Up: 11/2/06
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
News Round-Up: 11/1/06
Al Capone and Stanley Kubrick are Zombies who had better sense than to watch Saw III with their Hot and Fuzzy gay lovers. Go Speed Go!
Fangoria has the first progress report on George Romero's next zombie flick, Diary of the Dead. He says don't call it a sequel. Or The Blair Witch Project."It’s not BLAIR WITCH and my style is not BLAIR WITCH, and its not a purely visceral thing," says Romero. "My style is arch and theatrical, where BLAIR WITCH went for ultra-realism. Even though it is shot first-person, I'm trying to maintain the artifice and make some potent comments about the observer—while still supplying lots of nasty zombie stuff."
There has been much clucking of tongues over this quickie project from fans that want a Land of the Dead follow-up, but this is showing a lot of potential. Getting the studio off his back and shooting a movie on the fly, relying just on his instincts as a craftsman is exactly what helped make Night of the Living Dead such a cult classic. I'll take that over the Canadian Adventures of Big Daddy anyday. -- Doug Slack
Source: Fangoria
In the awesome advertising category, The East Anglian Ambulance Trust (a boring part of England) has issued a press release warning against new horror release Saw III. They say: "As well as collapses, we have had reports of people running screaming from the cinemas...every now and then a film comes along that some people find hard to stomach. Saw III appears to have sent film-goers over the edge." -- Andrew Clarke
Source: The Guardian
Everyone who sat through the Matrix sequels can now look forwards to Speed Racer, the Wachowksi Bros next directorial gig, which has just been officially fast-tracked. The story, about racing cars and monkeys, is being described as 'family friendly' and is heading for a Summer 2008 release. -- Andrew Clarke
Source: The Hollywood Reporter
Now that Black Dhalia has shit the bed, it's time for DePalma to do one for the Hollywood suits. Production has started on Untouchables: Capone Rising. The prequel, whose plot is hidden within the title, also involves a Lil Sammy Malone as well. Sounds like a homerun for DTV after the success of the Carlito's Way prequel. But if DePalma actually directs, it may end up being a box office embarrassment instead. I hope Paramount chooses it's platform wisely. -- Doug Slack
Source: Variety
The website for one of the best films of next year has just gone live. Hot Fuzz is released next spring and, if you don't know about, know that it is from the same team that brought us Shaun of the Dead and then visit the website. It contains loads of cool stuff including a series video blogs that feature comedy, famous people and Nick Frost shouting so loudly I screamed like a girl. -- Andrew Clarke
Source: jointhefuzz.com
Stanley Kubrick's son-in-law, Philip Hobbs, will be making a movie based on a treatment that Kubrick commissioned in the sixties. Called Lunatic at Large it will be set in the fifties and will involve an escapee from an asylum. It may, being something like three times removed from the auteur, be utter crap, but I suppose it is a son's job to capitalize on his father's memory for as long as possible. -- Scott Roche
Source: IGNDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading News Round-Up: 11/1/06
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
News Round-Up: 10/31/06
Video game movies suck, Mel's old as hell, and little girl actors are all a bit creepy. This is news?
Things aren't looking good for Halo. As we reported previously Universal and Fox pulled their funding. Now according to a spokesman for Wingnut films a "number of people working on the project were given notice on Friday". He also pointed out that this sort of thing happened with Lord of the Rings and Kong and so they still have hopes that this will see the light of day. And work is continuing on their other projects The Lovely Bones and Dambusters.
Source: The New Zealand Herald
On the unnecessary sequels news front, Mel Gibson has said that he won't be involved in any Mad Max or Lethal Weapon continuations. He says he's getting too "long in the tooth" for Max and that LW was "done to death". I agree with our newest member, a certain Mr. Slack, that a film showing Max in his later years could be interesting. It's not to be though. He will climb out of the bottle long enough to do Sam and George and Tree of Life. Not much in the way of details on either of those films, but here's hoping they're in English.
Source: IESB
Dakota Blue Richards (god you Brits are almost as mean to your kids as we are) will be playing the lead character Lyra in the movie adaptation of His Dark Materials. This is her first movie role and could be pretty challenging. Based on my reading of the first book it will consist of a lot of hiding in cramped spaces, climbing through cramped spaces, and zoning out while staring at a golden compass. Thrilling. Of course I really do want to see what they do with it since I've always been a sucker for alternative history and polar bears in armor.
Source: BBCDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading News Round-Up: 10/31/06
DVD Commentary: Halloween
By Andrew Clarke, Bill Nolen, Carlton Stevens, and George Merchan
The film begins on a black screen with a slow zoom in to a jack-o'-lantern on the left side of the screen while the credits show on the right. The first scene is the famous continuous first-person shot of killer Mike Myers watching his sister make out with her boyfriend, then following them upstairs and stabbing her sister to death with a kitchen knife.
Session Start: Sun Oct 01 12:34:20 2006
Bill: Already, I love this movie.
George: LOL
Andrew: Moustapha Akkad looks like Tom Bosely.
Carlton: The pumpkin is... it's hard not to laugh, honestly.
Bill: I want to sleep on that pumpkin.
George: I still always get a kick out of the jack-o'-lantern.
Carlton: It looks very loving.
Carlton: Very happy.
Bill: But that cut in it's nose. Battle scar.
George: Slow zoom = Ominous
Andrew: What is the deal with the cleft lip?
Andrew: Deliberate to make it creepy or just rubbish pumpkin carvers?
Bill: It sneezed.
Andrew: Okay, pause for a sec.
Bill: Pausing.
George: Paused on KOOL LUSBY.
Carlton: Tommy Wallace everyone?
Bill: Kool Lusby here too.
Carlton: Shit.
George: Haha.
Carlton: Well I'm right and you're wrong.
Bill: I want my name to be Kool Lusby.
George: I'd change it to KEWL myself.
Carlton: On Kool Lusby now.
Andrew: Bugger. Silly new DVD player.
Andrew: It started playing the trailer over and over.
Bill: We are so cursed this afternoon/evening.
Andrew: ...maybe i just bought a haunted DVD player.
Carlton: Andrew Clarke and the Haunted Celluloid is a good movie title.
Andrew: Where are you people paused?
George: "Associate Producer KOOL MOTHERFUCKING LUSBY!"
George: Ready?
Andrew: 321
Andrew: Go!
George: Critic Mode: Music.... excellent bit of simplicity.
Bill: I like the chant at the beginning too.
Andrew: The music is the key to all of this.
Bill: The music makes the film.
Andrew: It makes all his films.
Bill: Okay, get ready for the shortest lay in history.
Carlton: So, regardless of it being bright as the pure sun outside, will I end up scared at all?
Bill: Only if you are a babysitter.
Andrew: Never seen it?
Carlton: Never seen it.
Andrew: Are you counting the seconds from that music sting?
Andrew: That's when the sex starts.
Bill: I have a great story about this movie, but it's way too long to stick in here.
Andrew: Okay.
Andrew: Tell us about telling us the story. Is that shorter?
George: The sex has ended.
Andrew: That's less than a minute and he's heading downstairs - ALREADY DRESSED.
Carlton: "Hi how's it going oh god I'm done."
Bill: Okay, short version of my story:
Bill: My first experience with this movie was hearing my older cousins talking about seeing it just after they got back.
Bill: That was scary shit.
Bill: I was six years old.
Carlton: I'm at the naked stabbing now.
Andrew: This looks like Child's Play now, unfortunately.
Bill: How could you kill those tits, Michael?
George: He's GHEY.
Andrew: The clown stabs.
Carlton: It's a little odd.
Andrew: IT'S A KID!!!
Carlton: Okay, that was unexpected.
Andrew: Apparently that was a big freak out at the time.
Carlton: I'll give you that one, Carpenter.
Andrew: Did it get you, Carlton?
Carlton: Well, I wasn't expecting a child.
Carlton: But I didn't scream like a giant sopping pussy if that's what you're asking.
Bill: And here's where we don't need the TV edit of Dr. Loomis talking for hours and hours to a sanity board.
Andrew: Because one of the main problems with this film is that everything copied it afterwards, so it carries the danger of it aging. Badly.
George: That's always an issue.
George: With a lot of films really.
Andrew: What was fresh and new in '78 is now a cliche.
Carlton: Well, I haven't seen any other slasher flicks recently.
Carlton: Except a bit of Jason in Space.
Andrew: Jason in Space is the only fun sequel in any of those franchises.
Andrew: And Charlie's not here to disagree.
Bill: Part VI is good. Sod.
Carlton: I haven't seen many slasher flicks at all, actually.
Andrew: Well - you can be our bellwether.
The film cuts to a dark and stormy night fifteen years later and psychologist Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is visiting the secure psychiatric hospital where Michael is being kept, only to find that there has been a break out...
Bill: Great building of tension here.
Bill: Stormy night scenes will always work.
Carlton: The little sprinkle noise while he's on the car is a bit strange.
Bill: He's making those sounds, Carlton.
Bill: With his armpit.
Carlton: He's a robot.
George: Nice lighting.
Bill: There's tape on that glass!
George: You gots jacked, bitch!
George: "The evil is gone."
Andrew: Sam Loomis: 'Evil evil... blah blah... evil evil... blah blah."
Bill: If there was a god, there would be a GTA: Halloween Edition.
Carlton: I appreciate the simple title, compared to the swooping atmospheres and DNA of today.
George: Oh fuck yes.
Now we are in leafy suburb, Haddonfield, where a group of teenage girls (Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie, Nancy Kyes as Annie, and P.J. Soles as Lynda) are preparing to spend Halloween night babysitting, not realising that Michael Myers has come home to their neighbourhood...
Andrew: The dialogue is not the strong point.
Bill: No.
Bill: The Curtis is.
Andrew: Okay, Carlton? Curtis - hot or not?
Carlton: In this or overall?
Andrew: In this.
Bill: Smart dames are so hot.
Bill: Look at those stockings.
George: She's just carrying the smart dame's books.
Carlton: I'm not getting a good look yet. She looks kind of hot.
Andrew: We get a close up soon.
Bill: I would have beat this kid so much.
George: Hahaha.
Bill: "Shut it Tommy! I'm not on the clock yet!"
Carlton: Okay yes, she's semi-hot.
Andrew: She's at the haunted house!
Carlton: From my generational perspective, all I know of Curtis is that she was in a creepy scene with Arnold in True Lies.
George: Pretty unsettling having the serial killer out in broad daylight like that amidst the chirping birds and all. The imagery anyway.
Andrew: Carpenter does good fatalism.
Andrew: Mike Myers wouldn't know about her but for that key drop.
Andrew: Everything comes from just that one thing.
Andrew: One mistake you didn't know you made and then there's no escape.
Bill: A note on watching this on TV: Most of the step-ins from Michael are clipped off the sides of the picture.
Andrew: Assault on Precinct 13 is full of that.
Andrew: And this is Dean Cundey, Bill. It's ALL about them wide angle lenses and the widescreen.
Bill: I love it.
Bill: You can spot a Carpenter/Cundey film a mile away.
Bill: KID MURDER ICE CREAM!
Andrew: Yeah.
Andrew: Oh dear.
Andrew: Can we pause again?
A brief reprieve...
Andrew: Gimme a minute. This is being stupid.
George: No problem.
Bill: Need more Dew.
Andrew: When I click on the DVD player, then try to type in chat, it all goes wrong.
Andrew: Have to be careful how I click.
George: BRB - Need a drink.
Carlton: Drunken George.
George: Haha. No, no alcohol this time. Just H2O.
George: Okay. Shall we?
Andrew: Yes.
Bill: 321
Andrew: Go!
...and we're back...
Andrew: Also - on the 'Has this aged?' tip - nothing happens for about an hour.
Bill: Talking.
Carlton: "Fate never changes..."
Carlton: FORESHADOWING.
Andrew: It's all build up.
Bill: But the fate thing doesn't come into the story until what, Part Two?
Andrew: Well we've already had it twice in this film.
Carlton: I don't know, it just was emphasized enough that it seemed like foreshadowing.
Andrew: Carpenter is big on it.
Carlton: "He broke my pumpkin..."
Andrew: See? FATE.
Carlton: Now, to me, at least somewhat, the music cues are kind of a bit much, but not too distracting.
Bill: This would have been better sans soundtrack.
Bill: Quiet stalking is better.
Bill: Not the whole movie, just that Tommy scene.
Bill: He's such a kiddie stalker.
Bill: It does seem that Michael picks these victims randomly.
Andrew: Which is what good horror does. It could happen to you and there's nothing you can do.
Andrew: J-horror does this all the time.
Andrew: And the wet haired girls.
Andrew: And this is why having everyone be the mother/brother/lover of someone always lames up the sequels.
Andrew: Any sequels.
Bill: I agree.
Carlton: Is George dead?
George: Nope.
Andrew: So this is P.J. Soles?
Andrew: The 'totally' girl?
Andrew: I guess she looks okay. Don't see the obsession we all seem to have with her.
Bill: Just wait.
Andrew: Okay.
Andrew: Lots of waiting in this film.
Carlton: "uncharted territory"
Carlton: Oh how things have changed...
Bill: It's documentary style.
Andrew: It's almost all just steadicam in that wide angle.
Andrew: Practically fish eye, it's pushed so much.
Andrew: Wouldn't call it documentary.
Andrew: Just amazingly stripped down.
Bill: I mean the way the story plays out.
Bill: It takes its time.
Andrew: Almost like a blueprint. No flash.
Andrew: There's very little compression going on.
Bill: Annie reminds me of my first girlfriend.
Bill: She died so well.
Andrew: How did you do it, Bill?
Bill: I trapped her in a mine.
Andrew: Nice.
Andrew: Slow.
Carlton: Was this before or after The Thing?
George: Before.
Andrew: The entire first hour is just the girl's giggling and doing inane stuff, and Michael following them. Taking set up to its sadistic extremes, or just boring?
Bill: This also builds tension. The phone call and the man outside.
Bill: Like he ran to a phone.
Andrew: Every film that comes after gets to the action quicker.
Bill: I like that it takes its time.
Bill: The final half-hour is the goods.
Carlton: This would be boring if I didn't know something bad will probably happen.
Andrew: It's dangerous. Instead of a big kill every ten minutes, it's building up for an hour.
Carlton: In the back of my mind it's always, "LAWL SHE GET KILLED" while I watch all this.
Bill: Well, it starts with two scary scenes.
Carlton: Yeah, the intro did get my attention.
Andrew: One slip up and all the tension goes.
Andrew: Then teens for an hour.
Andrew: And these are totally lame teens.
Bill: All teens are lame.
Carlton: That's been enough to hold me up until now, where we're getting the stalking.
Carlton: I really don't care what Laurie and friends are saying to be honest.
Andrew: They say nothing very interesting.
Sam Loomis, following Michael, turns up in Haddonfield's graveyard and finds that Michael's sister's grave has been defiled...
Bill: The cemetery scene is effective.
Andrew: If you had the teens doing something more interesting, having Micheal impinge on that plotting would be more effective.
Carlton: Probably.
Carlton: As is, the teens are a bit of filler. The doctor stuff is interesting.
Carlton: The cemetery scene we just had was interesting.
Andrew: But maybe it was done just to show how normal the teens are.
Carlton: Carpenter is pacing all this well, keeping my attention right when it starts slipping.
Bill: These are not the hot girls in school, by the way. These are the plain girls.
Bill: Hot girls have things going on.
George: Whoring it up.
Bill: These are babysitters.
Andrew: It's not fat though - the plotting.
Andrew: No pointless subplots.
Andrew: It maybe a bit basic by modern standards, but it's lean.
George: Yeah, it's very streamlined.
Andrew: It's completely Carpenter.
Andrew: I noticed this when listening to the music.
Andrew: There's nothing fancy about the music. Quite apart from him only having three days to write it - which is why it's so repetitive.
Bill: I just think it's cool that a hardware store carries Halloween gear.
Carlton: Did she just say a guy's name was "Dick Baxter"?
Carlton: That sounds like something Stan Lee made up.
Bill: It's the step-child of Tubular Bells.
Andrew: The music is stripped down. Just the bare bones of the idea. Putting the piano in 5/4 so the beat is slightly disjointed, feels off.
Andrew: And just octaves. No flash.
Andrew: It's Carpenter's approach to the movie.
Bill: Those chirping notes are the stuff.
Andrew: Just the core idea with no fancy bits.
Andrew: Just the girls walking about oblivious and Myers following.
Andrew: For an hour.
It is night now, and the girls are settling down to a night of popcorn and watching scary movies...
Bill: It's dark out.
Carlton: Wonderful eye for lighting.
Bill: I'd notice the guy in my yard.
Bill: "Hey, Shatner's here!"
Andrew: Ha!
Andrew: Yeah. I wish Charlie could be here. His mask is a William Shatner mask with the eyes cut bigger.
Bill: He made one?
Andrew: It was a Kirk Halloween mask I think.
Andrew: You know, to scare the kiddies.
George: Hahaha.
Bill: Nice.
Andrew: The original idea was a giant clown mask - as the kid wore a clown suit in the first scene.
Bill: The clown mask would not have worked.
Bill: Speaking of which, anyone dressing up for Halloween this year?
George: Possibly. Going in a big group to a party, but we're not decided yet on our "theme".
Andrew: No.
Andrew: I am going to a goth Halloween party though.
George: HAHAHAHA.
Andrew: I may not survive.
Carlton: I'm dressing as fat black guy with Kool-Aid.
Bill: I'm being talked into going as Dagobah Luke with Yoda on my back.
George: Go as Blackberry-flavored Kool-Aid, Carlton.
Carlton: I call it fruit smack instead of Kool-Aid.
Carlton: It's much more fun.
Andrew: Anyway - the style is stripped down to the bare idea. carpenter is not much of a stylist. He just made the smart choices and did them as simply as possible. Just a steadicam in a dark corridor.
Andrew: That everyone has copied it is a testament to it being the right idea, which is why Carpenter's so great.
The first scary film of the evening is Howard Hawks' The Thing. Woah!
Bill: Camel toe.
Carlton: Carpenter's approach is so great.
Carlton: The bare minimum he applies to the look often makes it a little harsher.
Carlton: I felt that way when watching The Thing anyway.
Bill: Note what's on the TV.
Andrew: META!
George: What slasher films have actually done anything worthwhile with this formula?
Andrew: Done anything with the formula?
George: Like, taken the formula and added to it, either making it more effective or whatever.
Andrew: They just went with more.
Andrew: More kills, bigger kills, more tits.
Andrew: Typical low-rent cinema choices.
Andrew: MORE!
Bill: Great shot here.
Bill: Michael against the house.
Bill: Carpenter used the entire frame. Like Lean.
Andrew: Argento and De Palma were doing fun things with it at roughly the same time and through the 80's.
Andrew: But Carpenter distilled it.
Bill: The original Friday the 13th was stripped down. Not as well-crafted though.
Andrew: Friday the 13th is just basic film-making.
Andrew: Halloween is deliberately stripped down.
Andrew: Dead dog!
Michael Myers, after an hour of watching the girls, finally kills a dog.
Bill: I want to know how they got that dog to relax like that.
Andrew: Good dog acting.
Andrew: See - we're at the laundry room sequence.
Andrew: Which is the point where it's one build up too many.
Andrew: Or a very bold act of taking the 'Something is definitely going to happen!' tension as far as it will go.
Andrew: But, by itself, it's a huge fake out scare.
Bill: The Exorcist was very deliberate in its pacing too.
Bill: That's a 70's motif, I think.
Bill: They had more film to waste back then.
Andrew: The Exorcist is actually much more extreme than this. More bombastic.
The Annie character, distracted by the dog making dying dog noises, gets popcorn butter over her shirt and proceeds to strip down to her knickers. She puts on an oversized shirt and takes her clothes out to the laundry room, in the shed at the end of the garden...
Carlton: See, right now, I'm very antsy for SOMETHING. It's probably because I am used to stabbings and punches by now.
Carlton: But it is making me more attentive when Carpenter cockteases me with Michael shots.
Andrew: It is. Brave to have this sequence.
Bill: Face in the background is a great touch.
Andrew: Yeah. Huge cocktease.
Andrew: And you can only take cockteasing so far before... well, you know.
Bill: What babysitter wouldn't just break something to get out of that laundry room?
Bill: She's so stuck.
Andrew: Knickers!
Bill: This solidified my love of women in undies and a shirt.
George: At this point, do we WANT Myers to kill someone? Because we either don't give a fuck about the people that aren't Curtis? Or what?
Carlton: I don't necessarily want killing, just move towards more of... something. Back to the investigation and more information would do well.
Andrew: But Carpenter knew that after this cocktease, something had to start happening.
Andrew: There's an endless build up of tension, so the audience would want something, anything to break that.
Andrew: The teens aren't offensively obnoxious.
Carlton: No, they're not.
George: As opposed to the modern slasher film.
Andrew: These are nice enough, just not very well scripted or acted.
Andrew: The guy that turns up with P.J. Soles.
Andrew: Wanted him to die.
Andrew: See, after the laundry room, all these tricks of Mike just turning up in the corner of the screen are getting old.
Bill: Today's teen have too many iPods and cellphones to care about.
George: Too egocentric maybe. We want today's teens to fuck off.
Andrew: The baddies become the heroes.
Andrew: Freddy.
Bill: In a modern horror movie, Annie and Linda would have shared the house with their boyfriends. This one splits everyone up.
George: That's a good observation.
Andrew: The teens are written to be assholes.
Bill: Annie is an asshole.
Andrew: But she's not 'the bitch'.
Andrew: And there's no 'stoner' character.
Andrew: Or 'jock'.
Andrew: They're people, even if they're not that deep.
Bill: Linda is kind of the bitch.
Andrew: Yeah, but she's better than dim 'totally' P.J. Soles.
Andrew: I'd go for Annie.
Bill: I do miss the deleted scene of Linda borrowing the shirt from Laurie.
Annie takes her kid over to Laurie's house so she can drive to her boyfriend's for hot sex. But she finds the windows of her car already steamed up and someone waiting for her in the back seat...
Andrew: Okay. First death?
Bill: Kill!
Bill: Sexy.
Bill: This is a visceral kill too.
Bill: Closed quarters, no blood.
Carlton: That was rather creepy, yes.
Bill: The steamy car was a nice touch.
Carlton: His awkward breathing and the choking along with the silence made it nice.
Carlton: The music when she died killed it a bit.
Bill: I like the stingers.
Andrew: The two music themes get used too much.
Andrew: Even Precinct 13 had maybe three themes.
Andrew: This has two. And some stings.
Andrew: Taking the stripped down approach too far.
Carlton: I am incredibly desensitized to it because of cruel bastards like Miike.
Carlton: But still it was well shot and orchestrated.
Carlton: This does make me want to watch Audition right after.
Andrew: but then he only had three days to write it. for that matter, the huge long build up could be just because they had no money for anything else.
Carlton: He wrote it only in three days?
Andrew: Yeah.
Andrew: So was that hour deliberate tension building, or low budget padding?
Andrew: You decide!
George: Both maybe.
George: Low budgets... the a