Saturday, December 30, 2006
The Lord Of The Rings 5th Anniversary, Part 3 - The Return of the King
By George Merchan, Andrew Clarke and Charlie Brigden
Well, it's not Christmas Eve as promised, but the festive period does tend to overwhelm people. At least that's my excuse. In any case, we're back with the final installment of our epic discussion, taking in The Return of the King, a film some people view as the chapter that stumbled. Do we agree? Let's find out.
Charlie: Is Christmas eve a bit too soon?
Andrew: Tomorrow evening: office xmas party
Friday: piss up with mates
Saturday: actually buying the presents
Xmas eve: making lunch for my parents.
Still - we can give it a go.
Charlie: You haven't bought presents yet?
George: Let's give it a shot. If we make it, we make it. If not, well at least we can gun for before the new year.
Andrew: I did look for presents, but my mum wants a Nintendo DS (of all things) and everywhere is sold out. Also I'm buying sausages for my dad so I've got to get them at the last minute.
George: The movie? Anyone?
Andrew: You know what the opening scene in this movie is? It's shit.
Charlie: No it isn't. I don't think it should have opened the movie though.
George: It's VERY goofy and features one of the worst bits of sfx in the entire trilogy. It gets better the instant Smeagol and Deagol start fighting and even better when PJ shows us BrundleGollum. I don't think it's total shit either, but I don't think it should've started the film at all.
Andrew: OK, so the first scene of ROTK, after the epic battles that introduced the first films, starts with a close-up of a worm on a hook. It is a flash back to when Smeagol first finds the Ring and slowly starts turning into Gollum. Him and his brother, Deagol, are fishing, they find the ring, they fight over it and Smeagol wins by killing his brother. It was originally meant to be in TTT during the dead marshes, when Frodo calls him Smeagol and he, for the first time in centuries, remembers his humanity. They cut it out for time reasons and because it took focus away from Frodo. Hindsight's a bugger isn't it? Looking back that would have been the perfect place for it.
As it is, it is too twee and too cheesy, being filmed in what feels like soft focus, feeling almost like a dream of happy times that slowly turns into a nightmare. I don't like it personally, over which we can disagree, I guess, but crucially it is tonally inconsistent with everything else going on and the introductions to films are all about setting up tone, making this a major mis-step. The tone is fair enough for a flash back, but not an opening. Every time I start watching this film I think 'oh yeah, it starts like this' - so completely does it not fit that I blank it out. It's EE material, through and through, and should have been dropped from the theatricals, especially considering that they dropped the death of Saruman, leading to all sorts of clunky editing to set up that glowy ball getting into the heroes' hands.
We have to remember that PJ and co were around five years into this project when they were finishing ROTK. They were knackered and it's things like this that show that up. Perspective had been lost, they were too 'inside' the project to see clearly. The decision to start with this scene just because it would be a bit unexpected doesn't sound like the idea of a sober head.
I also think the film has quite a few of these mis-steps, giving us a hint of just how close this most epic of films came to going completely off the rails.
The only saving grace of this first scene is the last shot, in which Smeagol's cloudy dull eyes blink and turn into Gollum's cruel, shrewd eyes, so proving once again that a CGI Gollum beats the shit out of any practical make-up Smeagol.
George: Mine (Mum. DS Lite) does too. The pink one. So funny. Get her Brain Age, she'll love it. Tetris too.
"Very goofy."
ROTK is an odd fellow mixed with both the greatest and the worst moments in the whole trilogy, and I think this is mainly due to what Andrew points out above. It's the culmination of YEARS and YEARS of work, and not to mention, all the pressure in the world is on the shoulders of this team to deliver something even grander than TTT (which was really pretty damn grand). I think PJ succeeds during the most crucial of moments that needed to be GREAT. And they were. Which is really what makes this film the great one that it is, albeit a flawed one. You can have a great but flawed film, right?
I'm, of course, talking about the TE here because ROTK is the only one of the three that I feel doesn't benefit from the EEs.
(Editor's Note: Tetris is awesome.)
Andrew: It's true, it's all true - when the EE isn't giving us pointless crap it is actively undermining the dramatic tension! The major villain here is the scene added after the paths of the dead (and we shall ignore the low comedy of Gimli while on the paths, or the truly bizarre avalanche of skulls just after they meet with the deadites) where Aragorn and the deadites attack the pirate ships. By showing the army of the dead here, almost all the drama and certainly all the surprise is taken out of the scene when they finally arrive on Pelennor fields to save the day from certain defeat. We've seen the army before, we know what they can do, so that most crucial of scenes is slightly lessened. Bad EE, bad.
And the real problem is that the TE doesn't set it up too well either, leaving us hanging in the paths of the dead and then simply ignoring Aragorn until he pops up almost an hour later.
All we would need is that extra scene up to the point just before the army of the dead attack the pirates (I think a pirate says 'You and who's army?'), but not actually showing the army. This sets up the idea that something cool as shit is coming, but you are left waiting to find out what, making the arrival at Pelennor all the more sweet.
A simple solution, completely missed. ROTK is a film made on the tenth cup of coffee.
Also the first hour is really boring, consisting of nothing but getting all the characters into the right place.
George: I hear you. But I actually love love love the skull avalanche because, though it looks a little odd (the combo of miniature, CGI, and mattes), it's cool as shit and leads to the moment of the three outside seeing the approaching Corsair ships, which a.) connects back to the dialogue Gandalf says to Aragorn - "Look to the black ships", b.) is one of the few great character additions to Aragorn's already lofty character and one of the few great moments in this particular EE period, and b.) does exactly what you were getting at regarding the Army of the Dead... it sets it up properly, leaves you hanging on the King of the Dead's "We fight", and then transitions wonderfully to the mounting threat in front of Minas Tirith. THAT is the proper resolution to that subplot, and it genuinely works. Fucking EE kills it with the forced PJ and co. cameos on the Corsair ship though, like you mention. Bad EE indeed.
First hour? I'm actually having a tough time remembering what major moments of setup happen then. The EE obviously has the Voice of Saruman sequence, which for the most part, I think works. I like it and wish it could've gone into the TE. It's a nice counterpoint to Theoden's eventual death as well as Gandalf's regret in having sent Frodo. What else, not from the EEs? The beacons? Was that in the first hour? I think that's a great addition that wasn't in the book. Helps show how fucking big and mountainy Middle Earth is. Wonderful rendition of the Gondor theme (my favorite of the trilogy) as well. Uh... help me out here. What doesn't work for you so that I can tell you exactly why it works?
Andrew: The beacons being lit is the sign that the film is kicking in to gear. Before that we have celebrations over Helm's Deep, everyone arguing over what they should do, Pippin dicking around with the Palantir, so setting up him and Gandalf going to Minas Tirith, Arwen faffing on about whether to stay or leave. It's all useful, but it is all set up. It all pays off in the second half - in fact it feels like there's a good 90 minutes of nothing but emotionally resonant pay off - so it is good to have it but, again, it is a slog. You have to dig your heels in and prepare yourself for a hefty amount of watching before you get to the feeling.
The battle of Pelennor Fields is filled with chess imagery and, like a chess match, the film starts slowly and quietly - but that start is only really worth it for what it allows later. Compare with with FOTR where those Shire scenes are some of the most enjoyable of the entire trilogy.
And yes, I'll go for the 'We fight' line as the perfect spot to end that scene. I'm glad our massive cinematic minds got that sorted. Someone e-mail PJ, in readiness for the 10th anniversary quadruple dip.
George: Would it be too ridiculously obvious to point out Gandalf's line, "The board is set, the pieces are moving" at this point? Yes? Fine.
I personally like the setup a lot more here in ROTK than I do in FOTR. Why? I'm not sure. It's not so much that I don't like the setup in FOTR, but I guess, knowing that it's a trilogy that's very contingent on what happens from one film to the next (unlike other trilogies that are much more self-contained) I never really felt the stakes in FOTR. TTT certainly. But by the time you get to ROTK, the ante feels like it's been raised exponentially. And I think that has to do a lot with the fact that, essentially, TTT is this giant 3 hour setup for ROTK. I think you yourself mentioned at one point that the story could conceivably go straight into ROTK from FOTR (or something to that effect). Of course, I'm not taking into account the juicy stuff like character development and all that shit just yet. But I guess my point is that, when ROTK begins (when we see Frodo and Sam, not fucking Sm/Deagol), there's very much an enhanced sense of foreboding, dread, melancholy, edge of the knife type shit. And I guess that's just this inordinate amount of setup that's beginning to burst at the seams. And, like you mention again, the film ends with such emotionally charged resolutions which were made as such because of this setup. This is starting to remind me of Halloween but on the most epic of scales.
Times you lose this mounting tension:
- When Gandalf and Pippen go off on their merry adventure to Minas Tirith. This isn't a bad thing. I personally feel Gandalf and Pippen's arc is one of the most emotionally satisfying in the whole series.
- Paths of the Dead... is this the Lothlorien of ROTK?
Andrew: I guess Charlie's too busy playing with his pink DS to join in with this debate.
My vote for Best Boring Bit is actually when the Rohan lot fuck about for a bit in that high camp.
George: Okay yeah, that's the Lothlorien bit. Favorite EE moment there... Eomer: "War is the province of men."
Andrew: Vote for Most Embarrassing Bit is when Agent Smith gives Aragorn his big sword.
George: LOL. Poor Elrond Hubbard. I own that sword btw. Cuz, like, I haven't mentioned that a thousand times before already.
Andrew: Vote for the Let's Make King Kong Three Hours Long Award For CGI Blindness goes to Legolas on the elephant.
"Terrible."
George: I still say it's better than him surfing the fucking shield in TTT. And I have to admit, it's a cute joke to end his and Gimli's orc killing rivalry. And if people cheer, that automatically makes the scene worthwhile, no? Maybe?
Okay, I'm stopping until Charlie gets done playing Nintendogs.
Charlie: What, you don't have jobs? I'm back now.
I like the setup. I think it works pretty well, and I like a lot of the scenes, especially Arwen's vision. That's a great scene. Pippin's departure is very sad, and has some great scoring, but the scene with the Palantir is TERRIBLE. I always get embarrassed while watching it, and it's especially bad because of the slow motion mixed with the fast-tempo Mordor theme.
I absolutely love the scene with Elrond giving Anduril to Aragorn. Great music, great moment. This is the moment where the worm is turning so to speak, where people are putting faith in those who did not receive it previously.
The camp bit... yeah, it's a bit dull, although I'm a big fan of tense "how are we going to survive?" dialogue scenes that don't really go anywhere. The beacons scene that George mentioned is spectacular. Just wonderful, and a rousing moment.
I also love the Paths of the Dead. And I think it works because you're so engrossed in the rest of the story, you're not saying "Where's Aragorn?" but, you finally say "OMG Aragorn!" when he turns up. I HATE HATE HATE the EE scene with the Pirates. It's fucking awful. The EE of this movie SUCKS, the Mouth of Sauron aside.
I also love the Legolas/Mumakil scene.
I think it does mis-step occasionally, but when it doesn't, it's the most emotionally satisfying film of the trilogy. Also, those mis-steps are "slightly boring walking bit" mis-steps as opposed to "is that really the fucking turn?" type mis-steps.
Andrew: OK, Charlie, what about Eomer? Fantasy is a tricky thing to pull of for an actor, as you are talking some really silly stuff, are dealing with very heightened emotions and are moving through a very stylised world - being too naturalistic or 'modern' will make you stick out like a sore thumb when you're in a scene opposite a dragon. Yet you need to have the audience understand the very human emotions underneath all the enchanted armour. Lots of people got in right in these movies. Ian McKellen, for example, who is a big god.
But if you get it wrong you end up like Eomer, who mostly furrows his brow, lowers his voice to make him seem manly and epic and intones his lines with an absolute and ponderous seriousness. It's like a school production of Shakespeare, and rubbish.
Are there any other actors who are, basically, a bit gash?
Charlie: I thought Karl Urban was pretty damn good as furrowing norseman Eomer. I also LOVE seriousness. It's what I miss in movies nowadays.
George: Funny, I would never call Urban's performance bad. Maybe because I've seen him in Xena, I don't know. Most of his performances in the major films we've seen him in have been similar to this. I'd call it "intense", and for the most part, I think he does it well. I think you need an actor to hit that type of seriousness in a film like this, one that spans from the goofiest of goofy to the most grave of situations. And every character fits well somewhere within that spectrum.
Also, I thought we all had hard-ons for Urban. Maybe? Wait until Pathfinder is released?
Okay, speaking of Eomer reminds me of this... the Houses of Healing scene... Liv Tyler: as good as her pops in the vocal department? Or should she just shut her yap and look hot? I like the idea of the scene but I hate the way it was executed, mainly because her vocals stick out like a sore thumb in the film's whole musical cannon.
Andrew: I don't think it actually achieves 'serious', only uses 'seriosity' in a desperate attempt to compensate for the perceived silliness of the text. In fact LOTR's political machinations are at least as well drawn as in most 'modern day' thrillers. Either that or it is the sign of someone who has no idea how to pitch the tone and just goes for standard portentous intoning. He glares well but, seriously, he's a rare example in the LOTR films of cliched Bad Fantasy Acting.
On to Arwen, though. I don't really have anything good to say about any of the songs in these films unless they are sung by Hobbits. They are just variations of that slightly arabic, slightly celtic female wailing that has been grossly over-used in these kinds of epics for at least half a decade. Slightly mythical, slightly melancholy? Let's use Enya! It's heritage celtic music for tourists and about as believable as 'ye olde tea shoppe' signs. Thankfully they are, by design, easy to ignore and mostly kept to the closing credits. They don't push my emotional buttons at all.
Charlie: Once again, I disagree. I think all three of the end title songs are amazing, especially "Into The West." I think the Enya song is maybe the least in terms of emotional relationship to the film, but it's still a beautiful song, and she makes up for it with the Aniron deal, which is an amazing piece.
Hell, I love "Into The West" so much I had it played at my mother's funeral. It speaks to me that much.
But this leads into an interesting debate - what music would you have had instead? I remember reading a lot of shit artists like Belle and Sebastian saying they hated the LOTR music, but no answers as to what they'd replace it with.
George: Yeah, I'm with Charlie about the end credit songs. They're lovely, especially "Into the West". But the Liv Tyler song isn't during the credits, it's in a somewhat big sequence of the EE. It's yet another element of the ROTK EE that screams "this EE is NOT for the fans, but for the filmmakers" (I'm also referring to the cameos on the Corsair ships or like the brief shot of Howard Shore at Edoras). Because honestly, there's no reason for Liv Tyler to be featured singing a song within the film's narrative. There's an odd meta disconnect there. I guess you could argue that it's got to do with Aragorn or some shit, but there's nothing in the text of ROTK (or the EE) that really supports that.
Charlie: Definitely. ROTK's EE is "Let's get everyone in front of the camera" time, and let Liv sing because Eowyn sang in the TTT EE. Cause you wouldn't want those two to get catty. Oh no. Especially if they got catty in some kind of ring. And accidentally spilled baby oil on each other.
George: LOL
Andrew: Belle and Sebastian shit? Oh dear, Charlie, I think we might be running in to an irreconcilable split in our musical tastes here. Do you still like Tool?
Charlie: Very much so.
"A bit rubbish."
Andrew: Those songs are on the end credits just so New Line could release a video on VH1 to market the film. They are the epic equivalent of 'Hero' at the end of Spider-Man. They are not a real part of the movie, and all of them have that 'meta' thing George was talking about. We're into PR as soon as the breathy women start bleating and that's me officially out of the movie. It's the sign to run to the loo.
How about Bilbo singing 'the road goes ever on and on' a capella at the end of FOTR? A Merry and Pippin jig at the end of TTT? Or just a re-working of the main themes a la Star Wars? It worked well enough for that film.
But maybe we should move on from an argument that will only end in me and Charlie fighting, in a ring, covered in baby oil.
Let's stick with Elves. They're a bit rubbish in these movies. They are supposed to be semi-divine spirit entities, both in this world and the next, very much magical creatures who belong to an older, more magical and mythical time. They sense, with the passing of the third age, that their time is passing and the time of men and non-magic is coming, which is why they spend their time talking about leaving middle earth for good and 'going to the west'. The story is very much about the passing of one age into another - as shown by the Argonath back in FOTR, signfying that they have now passed in to the lands of men and from then on the story becomes much more about, well, men.
Now the film does the very best it can to recount 3,000 years of history, but it's focus is ultimately on Frodo and Aragorn, and the physical journeys they go on, so there's only so much it can do. It is hard enough for a film to express something as abstract as what an Elf is supposed to represent, but almost impossible for a film that spends most of it's time rolling around in the mud. The Elves' time is over, and they are leaving the land and that means that, basically, they aren't around to be filmed. The great sadness of the Elves is that this was their land and now they are giving up being involved with its dealings to hand it over to others or, perhaps (and here's the drama) lessers.
PJ tried his best (with FOTR EE scenes of Frodo and Sam seeing Elves passing through their lands or of Arwen's introduction as a shining, mystical being), but ultimately the Elves come over as rather ineffective hippy communes, flapping about in gauze and soft focus, speaking slowly with glazed eyes like LSD casualties.
What is so fascinating about Tolkien's Elves really doesn't come over in the movies for me, leaving them pointless and flappy around the edges of the film. The choice to focus on the immediacy of the main story is great for the movie but something had to be the loser, and I feel it was the Elves. They simply have nothing to do except selfsihly piss off to a retirement village.
This is best shown (referring back to a good point in the TTT chat) that we'd all rather Aragorn copped off with Eowyn instead of Arwen.
The Elves simply don't have anything to do.
Charlie: Exactly. And the Arwen thing comes forward again where we find out "her fate is tied to the ring." How, exactly? Does she have some sort of spiritual connection to it? Is she allergic to white gold? What's the deal here?
It's like the bit where Elrond says "The light of the valar is leaving you" or some such. It's not happening to him then, so does it just happen when someone says they're staying? It's all a bit vague, and thus, suffers.
George: This part still bothers me so much, mainly because I just can't understand why the filmmakers thought this was a viable motivational push for Aragorn. He doesn't need further motivation to do what he's got to do. And what's more, it undermines his original, more noble intentions, which, I guess, were to simply do what's right for the Fellowship, Rohan, Gondor, and ultimately Frodo... that line he says to Frodo in FOTR ("I would've followed you into the very fires of Mordor.") suddenly loses its potency. With this it suddenly becomes, "Oh snap! I gots to kick ass or my bitch'll die! C'mon let's go, let's go!"
Andrew: I don't really know what they're on about, and I've read The Silmarillion.
George: A tip of the hat to you, sir.
Andrew: More of a confession than a boast, honest.
Charlie: I got through two chapters of The Silmarillion. I bow to your endurance skills.
Andrew: It's telling that the poignancy of The Grey Havens and all that going to the west = dying stuff, so important to the Elves, all comes from that speech Gandalf gives Pippin (about travelling to that far land and silvered glass and all that) while they're waiting to get clobbered by super trolls.
George: Very true. That's a lovely lovely scene, btw. Gets me every time.
Charlie: The Grey Havens is one of my top five "never fail to be a blubbering mess after" scenes. I'm just always in complete disarray after it. Even while listening to the track on the CD.
Andrew: Before we get too deep onto the endings though, how about all that stuff from (roughly) when the beacons are lit to when Frodo and Sam are picked up on the Volcano-side by the Eagles?
"Hard not to laugh."
Charlie: Talking about the stuff in the middle is a good idea. Let's see.
As George said before, the lighting of the beacons is a wonderful sequence, and really kicks the story into third gear. Urgency = good.
I must pay tribute to Gandalf and Pippen's arrival at Minas Tirith. It's a breathtaking scene, and very well edited, even if it doesn't always look that real.
The Shelob scenes are pretty great, both as horror and as a cheer moment for Sam. My only issue really is with how Shelob looks. I guess they gave her personality, and design-wise, she's great, I just think that they made her look a bit less like a real spider and more like the generic fantasy spiders we're used to seeing. I always thought they might have gone pretty realistic with her, but with her big head and quadruple-jaws, it just makes it more like a caricature of a scary spider than a big scary spider.
Andrew: Shelob never did it for me, and a huge amount is made of her. Maybe she was a bit too fleshy when i get scared of that un-natural chitin look some spiders have. I won't make a big deal out of it, and shall put it down only to unbelievably-great-moment exhaustion by the time she pops up.
Charlie: Nonetheless, some of those scenes are great and I applaud WETA actually making her move like a real spider, as opposed to what we usually see in films. The movement really sells the horror of the scene, for example the shot where Frodo is caught in the web and we see the silhoutte of her behind him, and also in the later scenes outside, the first of which (where she comes out of that hole leg-first) is an absolutely nightmarish shot for those of us who are not fond of our eight-legged compatriots. That said, I find it hard not to laugh when Frodo does his foaming at the mouth.
The siege on Minas Tirith is still astonishing, and never gets boring. My favourite bit is where the Nazgul get involved, and there's one shot of the Witch-King as he grabs a few soldiers and flies off, and you follow them for ages as he drops them and they hit the buildings.
Andrew: Of the entire hour of the Gondor siege you bring that shot up, Charlie? Excellent! I'm glad I'm not the only one who ingores the massive battle scene in order to see if those little soldiers go splat. We should probably find out if anyone doesn't do this.
Charlie: Speaking of the Witch-King, the scene where he's introduced is really great, through Gandalf talking to Pippin. It's another teaser to the whole battle, and there's a great inflection in Gandalf's voice where he says 'He stabbed Frodo on Weathertop,' which sounds halfway between disgust and fright.
The arrival of the Rohirrim is also great. That speech by Theoden is immensely powerful, and it makes you want to fight. Their charge also features an amazing rendering of the Rohan theme. And of course, the arrival of Aragorn and co is a great cheer moment, something this film is full of. I watched it with a theater full of Tolkienites, and there were cheers all the time. It was a great experience.
Eowyn's fight with the Witch-King is another. When she cuts off the fell beast's head, you're like "Oh snap!" which then turns to go "Oh shit!" as he unfurls his gigantic +4 mace. It takes a bit of opportunity with Merry stabbing him in the back, but it leads to one of my favourite bits.
"You fool! No man can kill me. Die now!"
"I am NO MAN."
And then he dies. Rock.
This is where it goes straight into fifth gear for me. There's that utterly damn heroic shot of Aragorn just nailing orcs left right and centre, and then Legolas taking down the Mumakil, and once the battle is over, we go into that great scene in the council chambers, which again combines fun dialogue with utterly reckless do-or-die derring, i.e. "Certainty of death! Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"
"For Frodo."
On the subject of the EE, while it's mostly terrible, I do love the Mouth of Sauron scene. It's so damn creepy, and it gives a bit of extra weight to the scenes that follow. Speaking of which, Aragorn's speech is greatness. It's not the speech of a battle-hardened man who has given thousands of heroic inspiring speeches ala Theoden, but someone who realizes now his true calling and that if they're going to be able to do anything to stop this world being fucked up, he's going to have to do his bit, verbally. And he does.
This follows greatly into the next sequence, directly after the "I can't carry the ring..." bit which I'll go into after, where Sauron calls Aragorn out. He walks out, and then turns back, giving us a look almost identical to the look Isildur gave Elrond all those years ago. Then he gives a sad smile, and utters those legendary words - "For Frodo" - before running on his own towards a legion of Orcs. That, at least for me, is Aragorn's defining moment, and where he takes on the true mantle of the king. It's the third in the trilogy of scenes where he runs into the enemy facing seemingly insurpassable odds (Parth Galen, Forth Eorlingas), and it's where he truly shows his worth and his confidence to be King.
Again, with that scene, it shows that the trilogy is all about friendship, and the sacrifice based on friendship that we have to take. We see earlier Frodo abandon Sam for Gollum, breaking that bond, and then Frodo being betrayed by Gollum, with the character only feeling at a sense of relative peace once they are reunited, which again comes to prominence when they are on the side of the mountain, and Sam shows the true roots of heroism shows not of how strong you are, or how handy you are with a sword, but how you can pull that inspiration from within you and do what you think you cannot do for a selfless cause.
George: The siege on Minas Tirith (featuring that FANTASTIC rendition of the Nazgul theme - when they swoop in on the highest level of the city) and The Battle of the Pelennor Fields (that's really the climax for the Rohirrim, and man, can you feel it both in Shore's music and in Jackson's visuals) are still such truly incredible action sequences that have set the bar for truly engaging action spectacle. It's not always the most realistic looking stuff, but it's always fucking cool as shit, it's always involving, and it's ultimately still always seeded in character.
The Mumakil? Good Lord. Objectivity is kind of out the window at this point, I'm sorry. But fuck, I really don't think we've seen a more energetic, creative, and awe-spiring marriage of CGI and live action in a major film yet since maybe, well, since maybe PJ's King Kong and the sequence atop the Empire State Building.
The Mouth of Sauron scene is nice. It is creepy and it does add another nice little layer to the finale. I just don't like the setup for it, because it kills that one musical cue with Sam running up the tower to rescue Frodo.
We've sort of ignored Denethor. I think he gets on people's nerves since his scenes become a bit silly (especially in the EE), but fucking hell, I love 'em. I think John Noble's performance is a great piece of melodrama. His death is still hilarious.
Andrew: I'm pretty much a fan of this whole middle section. It is glorious and what really shows it's worth is that we are getting maximum scale shots for a good hour or so, of an entire city under siege by 100,000 Orcs, and yet it never gets dull. Usually you have to trade sepctacle for intimacy - you can show an entire world now, but it's the close up of the face that remains the most interesting. If you show an entire city, usually you lose the sense of what it is like on one street - at the human level - only leaving a sense of impressiveness - which can only really last maybe ten minutes before reducing down to boredom. The bigger it is, usually, the vaguer it is. Not here.
His film has done so much work with the actual humans scurrying around that you never loose that sense of emotion or relatability, thus keeping a strong connection between close up widest of wide shots. You know where they are, and you know what they are feeling, even when you are seeing thousands of them.
What that all means is that zoom out from, say, one fight to dozens of men getting wiped out in a second by a nazgul, keeps it's jarring 'fuck me!' effect even after an hour of it. I still get that feeling of the scale of the threat all the way through the battle.
This effect probably has it's roots all the way back in FOTR - it's a story that escalates from one Hobbit and a ring to an entire world at war - so thinking back to, for example, that scene in the wheat field when Sam and Frodo first start their journey, and suddenly zoom forwards to 100,000 Orcs and I still get the idea that this is impossible, that they simply couldn't show something so big on screen.
That I think it is impossible to make shows how believable they have made this fantasy world, and that's why this great middle chunk of ROTK is so great.
Charlie: You're right, Denethor's death is absolutely hilarious. I love the concept for that. "Okay, we're going to have a flaming Denethor jump off the edge of the city and then pull down and back across the entirety of the Pelennor Fields."
Noble's performance is very good, too. I like his style. It's proper melodramatic emo.
Andrew: OK, the friendship thing. I'm afraid I find the 'i can't carry the ring, but i can carry you' line very funny, which is a shame as it's a major beat in the climax that I miss out on. I'm afraid the friendship stuff really doesn't get to me, with me mostly finding it cheesy and unconvincing.
Far more emotional to me is the shot of Frodo face as he is being carried away from Mount Doom. Now that gets to me. This has far more to do with overcoming personal, internal conflicts and genuinely finding peace. The ring is the catalyst for this is Frodo and Gollum, but Aragorn's rise to accepting who he truly is, or Theoden's final acceptance that he has been a worthy king (or loads of other examples), are just as powerful.
What's interesting is that the films contain both these things, and it mostly comes down to the sort of person watching it as to what is most important. Both of you have brought up the friendship and love aspects of these films, which I've mostly ignored or mocked gently, preferring to focus on the inner turmoil of the characters. Maybe you are just nicer people?
"Not gay."
Charlie: I think you're right. Not about being nicer people necessarily, but personally, I am a stupid romantic at heart. I like to take things at face value, and I'm a sucker for traditional romance, and the kind of friendship values LOTR throws up. I'm a huge fan of the romantic ideals that heroism in these kind of movies contains, the kind of swashbuckling laugh-in-the-face-of-death heroism that, when combined with honest emotional truth, is immensely powerful. I'm Frodo sitting in the woods reading the book, or more accurately, Luke Skywalker staring at the binary sunset. Awash with envy at those who would take on such selfless heroics and who would rescue the damsel in distress, but differing in the real-world realization that the only place we'll really find them - at least in this form - is on film or in print.
George: I am nicer. The friendship thing between Sam and Frodo really works best for me at the tail end of FOTR and in the entirety of ROTK (though Andrew, I admit that the "I'll carry you" line doesn't move me either... I don't laugh though, you evil man you), mainly because I relate to Sam as a person that's tried hard within my own friendships to help those with problems, addictions, relationship issues, etc, etc. I feel that frustration when the party you're helping doesn't listen to reason. But as such, you go through a whole lot of hell and back with that person, and at some point, you feel exactly like that moment when Frodo wakes up and Sam walks in last of the Fellowship and they give each other that little "I know" smirk. Sean Astin's look at that moment is truly heart-tugging because you finally see peace in the face of someone who's whole motivation was simply to be selfless and be as true a friend as possible. Shit, I'm not Sam. But I wish I could be that unselfish when it really counts. Like Charlie sorta says, film presents us with ideals that we can only hope to attain or strive for. Even if it is often completely futile.
And this sort of awkwardly leads me into the gay issue (which I know Charlie probably just rolled his eyes at) that I do want to briefly address. I can see why fans take offense to people calling Sam and Frodo's relationship a gay one without hint of irony. Not because it's dumb (which it is and it isn't) but because their friendship is one truly grounded in sincerity and good-nature, and one that's really an ideal for what we wish our own relationships could be like. We, being the nerds that we are, take offense to this because it feels like short-sightedness, ignorance, disrespect, or even an example of how modern culture's fucked up the way we view close knit masculine relationships. I used to get upset years ago when people would bring it up. Now, I laugh. And I like to look a little deeper to see that bit of subtext (intentional or not) because at some point, you've gotta examine film further than just what's presented to us on the surface.
Andrew: My theory for the 'bed scene' is not that it is gay, but that there is such a lack of sex in these movies that people look around to put some in somewhere, and that somewhere is the idea of 'friendship'. Arwen is the big romantic heroine and she's barely in the films. Both Arwen and Eowyn have relationships based on distance or innaccesibility. The idea of fantasy nerd as a scared-of-women virgin is quite strong here. No-one is getting any.
So the bed scene when all the Hobbits are finally brought together again is supposed to be a scene of innocent joy. That's the text of the scene.
Now, to be fair to the lolgayzors mob, the leaping about does feel like a mis-step (can anyone remember if this was a re-shoot?), as it's a throwback to what they were like at the beginning of the trilogy, back in The Shire, and the whole point is that they have changed and their innocence is, in part, gone.
A far better depiction of this comes when they back in the Green Dragon where they are sharing a drink and feeling distant from the rest of the Hobbits, busy being silly and oblivious to what just nearly happened. They are leaning on each other's friendship because of their shared experiences, but they know they can not go back to the way they were.
Honestly, I think it should have been cut or, at the very least shortened. We've already discussed these possibly bad decisions being made and ROTK being a film that very almost comes off the rails. I think this bit is a good example.
Charlie: I think it's a beautiful scene, mainly because like you say, it's a scene of innocent joy bound by friendship. That's how I take it. There are a couple of things that really make me smile in the scene, firstly Merry diving around on the bed while Pippen just sits around without a care in the world, and George's aforementioned moment with Sam and Frodo. It's a catharsis after everything that has happened, and as you said, it's a throwback to their origins, and them trying to reclaim that after everything that has happened. As is stated in the scenes after, you can't go back, but this is the one moment where the darkness has gone and the only thing that exists is the joy of friendship between people who love each other, however you want to take that.
I find that utterly beautiful.
Andrew: Well I believe the moment of catharsis comes as Frodo is carried back by the Eagle, and that trying to elevate 'innocent joy' to the exclusion all other human attributes is both creepy on the part of the film-maker (think Michael Jackson) and does a disservice to characters who have become increasingly three dimensional over the course of the movies.
At least we can agree that those who think it is gay need to get out more, or at least be made to visit certain internet porn sites?
George: Yep. I hear TheFagLife.com is quite excellent.
Like so much in these sets of films, the heart of it all has remained in the right place. Especially for ROTK, since like we've already talked about, it's often the most problematic of the three films, yet it achieves some of the richest highs of the entire bunch. For me personally, it doesn't get better than the third act of this film (and trilogy as a whole). It's an explosion of emotion both exciting and tearful. Wonderful editing, wonderful scoring... it's the section you can tell the most thought went into.
Andrew: As long as we agree the 3rd act ends with the eagles, sure.
I do think the bed hopping scene and the coronation could have been shortened into a montage with some rousing music playing over the top or a speech, like Sam's in TTT, which played over the end of the battle of Helm's Deep.
Equally Sam's wedding could have been cut, which I actually think would have heightened the effect of that final, final end when Sam goes back to his house with his new family.
I believe the extended epilogue is about the sense of passing, and the bittersweet feeling of a successful end and the price paid for it, rather than just a tidying up of loose ends. It's all leading up to the moment in the White Havens when the hobbits realise Frodo has to leave them forever.
Then that final moment with Sam would truly be the sweet moment when we see that life also still goes on. As it is, I fell it is diluted by the other stuff. This feeling may be informed by me not needing to hear Mr Mumbles trying to sing again.
The argument in the extended endings' defence is that it is the end of a trilogy, not just one film, so it needs its space and these characters need their send-offs, but whether it is the end of a four hour film or a ten hour trilogy, I'm actually pretty much ready for them to end, thank you.
The various snoggings can be kept to brief mentions, just so we know that someone, somewhere in Middle Earth actually got some, before moving on to the important stuff, which, after we've had our victories, has to be the stuff about passing.
Charlie: I've always been a big defender of ROTK's endings, because I feel we've been with these characters so long that, personally, I need that kind of extended closures, so much so that you almost don't want it to end. I agree with George that the third act is absolutely flawless. The coronation scene is always my favourite, and paced really well, right from that amazing little ditty from Aragorn, to the proper passionate movie kiss he gives Arwen, to "You bow to no one," which is just an incredibly emotional moment.
And then we have the Grey Havens. And then I cry. Copiously.
Andrew: I'm not going to get you to compromise on any of those moments, am I?
When a moment in LOTR gets you emotionally, it gets you really hard. I'm happy to lose the coronation as, despite it's usefulness in story-ending, it has never moved me, but I imagine someone who has choked up at the 'you bow to no-one' line isn't going to let it go for anything. Equally, how could I watch the TE of FOTR if it meant I couldn't watch that bit with Gimli talking about the three hairs he received as a gift from Galadriel? Or the bit with Frodo and the eagle, which I promise I shall not mention again?
It is a sign of the strength of these films that different parts get to different people but, even more, it is the possessiveness we get over these moments of emotion that tells us how great they are.
These are films that are so full-blooded and open-hearted that, when they speak to you, they can be quite overwhelming. Equally though, when they don't speak to you, they can seem really, really daft.
George: I think that idea of it being a movie kiss is a good summation of what the denouement really is for fans of these films. I mean, let's face it. ROTK is a film made not only as the story capper to the trilogy (obviously) but it plays very much as a "thank you" of sorts for those of us who truly invested emotionally in these films. I'm not saying that makes for proper filmic storytelling, but sometimes "proper" doesn't satisfy the way "indulgent" does. I'm using "indulgent" in a positive sense here, for those in the back row. And like that "movie kiss" that Charlie points out, these films, especially ROTK, display a heightened sense of realism. They're romanticized in a very old fashioned way. Whether that's intentional or just a product of "being too deep into the project that we've lost all sense of rationale" I don't know. And I don't much care, honestly. At a certain point, films such as these cease to be about objectivity and become transcendent, in a variety of ways, to each individual audience member. And like you point out, Andrew, different moments are going to affect them differently.
Charlie: Well, that just about sums those movies up. They are transcendent in the extreme, and these three gigantic discussions illustrate that.
And that's about all we have time for. We hope you've enjoyed reading these, whether they just enforce your opinions, or maybe have placed things in a new light, be it positive or negative. I think most of you will agree that these movies are modern classics, but it'll be interesting to see what we think if we have this discussion in another five, or even ten years time.
Maybe they'll have even made The Hobbit by then.
Continue reading The Lord Of The Rings 5th Anniversary, Part 3 - The Return of the King
Charlie's Top 10 In 2006
I'll be perfectly honest, I've seen very few movies theatrically this year. Various events and things have conspired to make me miss a lot of potentially great movies, but I've also seen a lot of great movies on DVD - and the odd TV showing - so this list will essentially be based around movies I've seen for the first time this year, as opposed to your standard best flicks of the year. But enough bullshit.Disclaimer: These are in no real order.
1. The Devil's Rejects
Rob Zombie's blood-soaked tribute to exploitation flicks of yonder makes the first entry in the list on account of it being fucking brilliant. Thoroughly entertaining, as brutal and gruesome as you can get, capped with wonderful performances and "Freebird," Zombie finally stopped being potentially great and moved into "just great." A really amazing accomplished piece of work that makes me salivate for Zombie's Halloween redux.
2. Initial D
Fuck The Fast and the Furious, if you want a good movie that happens to be based around driving very fast and very recklessly, this is your guy. There's no stupid undercover cop plots here, but instead a semi-coming of age story packaged together with a lot of really fucking good driving scenes. Jay Chou is an interesting lead, but Edison Chen and Shawn Yue really steal the show, not surprising as they're being directed by their compatriots from Infernal Affairs, Alan Mak and Andrew Lau. I wouldn't go out driving after watching it, though.
3. Kingdom of Heaven: Director's Cut
Ashamedly, I never saw the theatrical cut of this majestic film, so I have no idea how it compares. But I'm not that bothered, because the director's cut is an absolute masterpiece. Gladiator-esque with depth, this might be the movie to convince the people that Ridley Scott does have the deft ability to match amazing visuals with a compelling narrative (although, if you don't think Alien, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise and so on do that, you need to go back to school). The performances are uniformly great; Orlando Bloom suddenly becomes an action hero you actually want to root for, Liam Neeson gives an amazing performance that he probably phoned in, the bastard, and Marten Csokas chews scenery magnificently, though none of them come close to the glory that is Eva Green. Oh yeah, the doctor from Deep Space Nine is in it too. An incredible movie.
4. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
I think this was maybe in cinemas for four seconds. Warner never seemed to show any faith in it, despite the fact that it's a scientific fact that British audiences embrace smart movies more often. And this movie is not only very smart, it's also very, very, very funny and very fucking good. Brilliantly written and directed, with the amazing trio of Robert Downey Jr, Val Kilmer and the delicious Michelle Monahan, this is one of those hallowed movies: an exceedingly meta-flick that isn't drowned by its own smarmy self-consciousness. Did I mention it was really really funny? Another sad case of a stunning movie that very few people outside of the internet seem to have seen.
5. Layer Cake
Matthew Vaughn's modern gangster tale is brilliant because it deals with people who don't want to be gangsters. Exploring the central relationship of characters operating in a world where so many people want to be your average stereotypical cockney criminal (a dig at Guy Ritchie?), this is the antithesis of Guy Ritchie's Carry On-esque films, and instead presents a very intriguing world, where the stereotypes are the guys that fuck it up for everyone else. Presenting Daniel Craig in the role that made him a star and subsequently James Bond, Vaughn's film is sometimes overshadowed by the influences he obviously carries (notably, Michael Mann and Scorsese, especially in the ending), but these never cripple the film, and it's stunning for a debut movie.
6. End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones
A relatively intimate portrait of New York's rock'n'roll legends, End of the Century is a treasure simply for the fact that it's chock full of every single member of the band (which must be in double figures) telling all, at least as much as they want to tell. Thus we are regaled with stories behind the songs, the band's formation, the rivalries between members, and the effect they had on other artists, along with a brief look at Dee Dee's rap career. Ahem. Full of celebration of the band, along with tinges of sadness for various reasons, not least because of Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee's passing shortly after the filming, it's a good, honest portrayal of a legendary band thankfully bypassing the usual "oh man, we were so rowdy" angle that so many rock'n'roll documentaries seem to throw up.
Also, Dee Dee is a really, really bad rapper.
7. Miami Vice
If this was in any kind of order of greatness, this would be firmly at the top. Ruthlessly mauled by a lot of people, many of which seem to completely misunderstand the film, Michael Mann's redux of the show he helped shape is a stripped-down exercise in body language and reactionary looks, with a minimum of expository dialogue. The oft-quoted cliche says 'the eyes are the window to the soul,' and Mann seems to have taken this to heart, with every character speaking through their eyes. A combination of the epic grandeur of Heat with the edgy realism of Collateral, the film almost falls into the realm of drama-documentary, with just the soundtrack to really keep it theatrical. This is Mann at his best and movie-making at its best.
8. Munich
To be fair, Steven Spielberg is never one for proper ambiguity, but Munich has changed all that. Here is a filmmaker that really has moved onto a new level, and Munich is his most accomplished work, which, with Spielberg's career, really says something. A gut-wrenching look at the aftermath of the Munich Olympic massacre, the film never gives an easy answer for anything, and instead invites you to join the discussion. Full of outstanding performances from the likes of Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Geoffrey Rush, Ciaran Hinds, with a pretty masterful script and an incredible score by John Williams (for those who think Williams only writes big bombastic scores, listen to this), Munich really is the work of a director who has come full circle. The only question is what more is to come from him.
9. Superman Returns
Revisiting this film on DVD has really made me appreciate Bryan Singer's more emotionally fractured take on the world's most famous superhero. Presenting a different angle on the character of Superman, the film is full of wonderful spectacle and majestic moments, but what interests me more is the emotional conflicts presented within, especially in the case of the title character. As a pseudo-sequel to the first two movies, it works even better after viewing Richard Donner's Superman II, or more specifically, the Jor-El scenes in that film. The juxtaposition of the entertainment side of a superhero movie crossed with a more honest - almost brutally so - look at the concept of the Man of Steel has provided me with a different take on an iconic character that, like Ang Lee's The Hulk, is a film that I've really grown to love.
10. Domino
I know what you're thinking, or at least I think I do. It's either "Oh god, he's an idiot" or "Someone actually saw that movie?" Yes, it's true, most people hate this movie. But I don't. Tony Scott's action stroke comedy stroke mockumentary stroke biopic is not only a brilliant exploration of the mainstream audiences expectations of modern action films, but also a thoroughly funny comedy that has no qualms at poking fun at everything, not least itself. An action-movie version of This Is Spinal Tap, Domino would not be what it is without Keira Knightley's searing performance as the title character, nor her two compatriots in Mickey Rourke and Edgar Ramirez. The movie shows absolute confidence in what it does, so much so that you never, ever, know where it'll take you, whether it's impromptu lap-dancing or an appearance from the guy who played Renfield in Coppola's Dracula. As such, I fucking love this film.
And now that I've properly alienated you, I bid you adieu.
Discuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading Charlie's Top 10 In 2006
Bill's Top 10 (+ 30) DVDs Of 2006
The year in DVDs is a thing almost too big to contemplate. When I started going through the names of the single discs, multipacks, digipaks, box sets and collector's tins that I either spent money on this year or didn't have enough money left to buy, I ended up with a draft list of 40 releases that are more than worthy of a top-whatever list. Not that you should trust my analysis implicitly, but a number like 40 should give you a clue that the standard definition DVD phenomenon is a long way from being kicked to the curb by the HD-DVD/Blu Ray civil war the retail electronic stores want to enlist you in.
Right here I wanted to look brainy and throw down the total number of DVDs released in Region 1 this year as a way of illustrating the staying power of the format, but I'm obviously not smart enough to find such information on the old ARPAnet. As a concession factoid, I did find a USA Today article that estimated the number of music/concert DVDs released this year at around 1,900, so that should give you a clue how big the full release slate must be. Your other clue might be the fact that Best Buy and Circuit City don't seem to stock any movies released before 2002.
The "bigness" of this year's total offerings makes it difficult to pick just ten super-duper, must-own DVDs. Besides, there are a lot of ways to look at the concept of "best" in the DVD realm. Like many of you, I don't go to the noisy, sticky, people-infested cineplex much anymore, so DVDs introduce me to movies that become my personal favorites. I can mentally separate the movie from the disc in most cases, so one list must include movies I want to honor regardless of the special features or fancy packaging because they are simply great movies. On the flip side, there are multi-disc collector's sets that may include one or two movies I don't care for, but the value of the overall product is impossible to deny. Then there are the guilty pleasures whose ommission would make the list so much less personal, and the various special edition double dips and late arrivals that deserve attention simply because the studios did something right in releasing them.
So, I need to make several lists in order to feel complete. The first will be my list of the most impressive overall releases, then I'll follow with the other stuff in some kind of intelligent order. I'm not going to waste time trying to list them in order of quality, so I'll put my first list in order of release date and the rest in line according to the Roman alphabet (the Cyrillic alphabet would put all of the C's in the middle of the list, I think). Prepare yourself for a lot of gushing praise, and maybe a tear or two of regret.
The Most Impressive DVD Releases of 2006
Sam Peckinpah's Legendary Westerns Collection(Jan. 10) - If you want to see the full range of Peckinpah's talents as a director, and dissolve forever your belief that he only cared about bone-jarring violence, this box set is for you. From the traditional western Ride the High Country, through the odd but enjoyable character studies The Ballad of Cable Hogue and Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, and ending with the blood and dust masterpiece The Wild Bunch, this set will give you all of the western greatness you can handle from one of the most belligerant and stubborn auteurs ever to stand behind the lens.
King Kong Collector's Tin(Mar. 28) - Finally, the king of all fantasy films (the 1933 classic, not Peter Jackson's admirable remake) arrived on Region 1 DVD this year. Depending on who you ask, it's also the king of all horror films, romance films, and even epic dramas, but let's not get caught up with labels. It's one of the greatest and most innovative movies ever made, and this collector's edition includes a ton of extras. If you get the tin box (a 2-disc edition is also available), it also includes a couple of other vintage big ape films, Son of Kong and Mighty Joe Young. Dig in and find out why Mr. Jackson became a filmmaker.
Mel Brooks Collection(April 4) - Some will say that the absence of Spaceballs from this collection keeps it from being complete, but there is plenty of Brooks' unique brand of goofy brilliance on display here to satisfy what's under your dark helmet. Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein and History of the World Part I are all-time comedy classics, and the other five films (The Twelve Chairs, High Anxiety, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Silent Movie and To Be Or Not To Be) keep the laugh to yawn ratio at a respectable level. The set was rather economically produced, but it packs eight movies into an equally economical space, so it sort of evens out.
Kingdom of Heaven 4-Disc Director's Cut(May 23) - I did not see the theatrical cut of this movie, but I know one thing: this extended edition packs a one-two punch in beautiful cinematography and emotional depth. The struggle between Christians and Muslims for control of the holiest of holy cities, Jerusalem, is presented in a way that strikes at the irony of so much bloodshed in the pursuit of eternal peace without making either of the factions seem more evil than the other. It also makes Orlando Bloom look like a real badass, which I didn't think was possible. Do you want a carefully archived, exhaustive set of extras to enhance your viewing of the film? This set will surpass your wildest dreams.
Sherlock Holmes Complete Collection(June 27) - Long story short, Basil Rathbone is the very essence of Sherlock Holmes on film. Purists will say that Nigel Bruce's portrayal of Dr. Watson as a bumbling dolt betrays the brave and intellectual attributes of the character in Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, but I say nay to that. Without a bit of humor here and there, these films would be dry as freshly toasted bread, and you can tell that Rathbone and Bruce enjoyed working together through their run of 14 films. This attractive box collects all of them in one place, including 12 that have been previously restored by the UCLA Film and Television Archive (the other two look just fine also). I love every bit of this box.
Seven Samurai 3-Disc Collector's Edition (Sept. 5) - My fingers flutter maddeningly above the keyboard as I think of a way to describe the importance of this film to cinematic history, but I think I'll skip telling you what you should already know. Criterion offers not only a full load of supplemental materials with this updated release, but also a digital restoration of the video presentation that is nothing short of miraculous. Don't gripe about the presence of a small amount of black space on all sides of the picture. Criterion added this "window box" in order to allow the maximum amount of the frame to be visible on all monitors. Don't ask me why that is necessary, just trust your buddies at Criterion. The good people over there obviously love you, or they would not put in so much effort to make your home video experiences so pleasurable. Love them back - buy their best release to date.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: 2-Disc Ultimate Edition(Sept. 26) - I was not at all prepared to buy yet another release of my favorite Texploitation film, but after seeing a frame-for-frame comparison of the previous release and this newly-restored version, I knew I couldn't hold back. I complained at release time about the exclusion of the documentary "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A Family Portrait" from the robust set of special features included here, but I take it back. Just because I remembered that the documentary exists doesn't mean it would have complemented the other features in this set, and besides remembering that it exists, I don't recall much more about it. The steelbook packaging adds another level of coolness to an already great release.
Reservoir Dogs - 15th Anniversary Edition (Oct. 24) - The key feature that sells this edition of Tarantino's first film is the much-improved video quality. The 10th anniversary edition suffered from a tragically washed-out picture. What a difference five years can make! Here we have a video transfer with amazing sharpness and contrast and new color timing that gives the impression of more natural lighting on the gritty sets and scenery. Some of the features from the previous release were not carried over to this one, but you won't miss them too much (or just keep the old set if you're such a dedicated "dog"). The narrow gas can that holds the discs also looks good on a shelf.
James Bond Ultimate Edition Sets (Nov. 7/Dec. 12) - MGM tossed four volumes full of Bond films at the buying public this Christmas season, and the Bond-ophiles among you will not be disappointed with the quality of these sets. All of the older films have been cleaned up and reformatted to match their original aspect ratios,
which brings them up to snuff with the technologically superior films of the 90's and 00's. DVD completists won't mind the scrambled order of the sets, but fans wanting to buy one specific era of Bond-age may flinch at the $250 total and decide to wait for individual releases (which may or may not happen on standard definition DVD).
Oldboy - 3-Disc Ultimate Edition(Nov. 14) - Finally, North Americans can claim a collector's edition that rivals the best releases of Europe and Asia. The Region 3 ultimate edition from Korea narrowly edges out this Tartan video release due to its inclusion of a soundtrack CD, but that's a flaw that can be easily overlooked. Oldboy is a movie experience to be celebrated, and there's no better way to do that than to dive into a full two discs worth of documentaries and background featurettes, not to mention the complete Manga TPB. This movie (and DVD set) will always be in my top ten of all time.
Favorite Movies on DVD in 2006
A shorter rundown of movies I loved, regardless of DVD features:
Beerfest - Sorry to disappoint some of you, but I like Broken Lizard movies, and movies about beer especially. You may draw your comedy sustenance from another well, but I assure you that the volume and frequency of our laughter at the things we find funny are disturbingly similar. If you are with me, raise your mug high.
Feast - A wall to wall, ceiling to floor, gore-drenched celebration of the things that make horror movies so much fun. I was shocked at how much I liked this film. Quick, somebody give Director John Gulager a decent zombie script!
A History of Violence - It's been a while since I have enjoyed a David Cronenberg movie this much. Other than Viggo Mortensen's obvious "Joey Bent-Nose" tranformation in the movie's final act, there is nary a flaw to be found in this wicked little story of paradise lost in small-town America.
Lady Vengeance - Chan-Wook Park finished off his oft-lauded Vengeance Trilogy with a completely new variation, this time from a woman's perspective. If you've seen all three films and you still think vengeance is an honorable and reasonable way to conduct yourself, you need to swallow some white cake and chill the fuck out.
King Kong (2005) - Peter Jackson's epic monkey movie takes a lot of crap for having a bloated first half, but I don't agree with that judgment. When your characters are on a boat, and that boat is searching for a mythical island in the middle of the ocean, some time is bound to be wasted. How's that for a three-second defense of last year's most impressive technical achievement?
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - It took this long to pair up Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer in a buddy picture? How many idiots passed up this winning opportunity over the years, and will someone please injure them for me? Consider the tired old detective genre to be hereafter deconstructed, filled with wry humor and rebuilt anew. She purrs like a tiger now.
Munich - I was wondering if Papa Spielberg had the mojo reserves to pull off another serious historical drama in the vein of Schindler's List, then I saw this movie. There is no good or bad side in the eternally stubborn, endlessly bloody Israel-Palestine conflict. You don't need this movie to prove that, but if a director of Jewish descent can embrace reality, why can't the politicians?
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Sure it was a blockbuster, but was it any good? Damn straight it was. The outrageous action sequences had me grinning throughout. Johnny Depp's comic instincts become sharper with each installment of pirate lunacy. Disney took a big chance by leaving the ending open, but I think it paid off just a little bit. I can't wait for the next one.
United 93 - If you had told me prior to watching it that I would have been weeping quietly by the end of this movie, I would have told you to sit on some twin towers and spin. That emotional confession aside, I applaud Director Paul Greengrass for his ability to present an engrossing, "facts-based" story that soothes our still-raw nerves instead of stomping them into the dirt. Factual or not, it is a movie that works beautifully.
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - I did not have more fun watching a film this year. Each release of the ongoing Wallace and Gromit saga moves the animation field several steps forward, not just in technical terms, but in the way these pleistocene sculptures are able to move you to the edge of your seat during the thrilling action scenes and then sling you back with laughter at the perfect comic timing on display. No dog's eyebrow ridge has ever been more entertaining. What a sweet slice of pure fun.
It's About ?#$%&@! Time They Put It Out!
These are some films that have been a long time coming. I appreciate them thusly:
Bladerunner Director's Cut (Remastered) - I offer praise for the single-disc preview of next year's impending box set because the new transfer is really a sight to behold. There's so much more detail in this cleaned up version, you may think you're watching the full movie for the first time. I hope the box will be worth the long wait.
Cemetary Man - It only took ten years for this wild curveball of a great zombie movie to hit the DVD market in the States, and I'm glad it finally happened. Who cares if you can see the strings on those flaming cotton balls! This is one of the wackiest zombie movies on record. Rupert Everett has never been so cool, and Anna Falchi puts the cash in the spank bank, if you know what I mean.
Double Indemnity - Director Billy Wilder's classic potboiler was out of print on DVD for a long time, and now Universal gives it the Legacy Series treatment with a very nice hardcover case and some extra features. This is the kind of suspense that slips under your skin like a warm needle and fills a vein with forbidden liquid that feels so so good. Not that I know what that's like, just saying.
Forbidden Planet - This is also a revamped release of a bare-bones disc. The film is the kind of serious sci-fi story you didn't see much of in the 50's, despite the big clunky robot wobbling in and out of scenes. In a street fight, the ID monster defeats all of you, believe me.
Gojira Deluxe Edition - This is the original giant lizard movie, before the series went all goofy. It was produced just a decade after Japan's ultimate defeat in World War II, and the subtext of the film is chock-full of references to the dangers of unrestricted science and scenes of destruction that are slightly uncomfortable to watch in a historical context. The Totally Raymond Burr'd Edition is included, but not apologized for.
Police Squad! The Complete Series - Leslie Nielsen owes his long comedy career to these six episodes of television at its best, because without them he would not have made the Naked Gun movies and become a household name. Whoever cancelled this series deserves to...something really horrible.
Other Notable Favorites
Can I relay the worthiness of these DVDs in five words or less? I think so.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre II - Slices/shreds your funny bone.
Brokeback Mountain - Cowboys who hate gays = gay.
Capote - Bone-deep chills, Hoffman rules.
Domino - Okay, Keira Knightley is hot.
Edmond - Bill Macy is your god.
Good Night and Good Luck - Journalists had ethics? No shit?
An Inconvenient Truth - Gore will save your ass.
Masters of Horror: Imprint - Jesus, Miike's a fucking madman.
Sleeper Cell - Showtime series, better than 24.
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada - Quiet power rules the range.
The One That Got Away
In a world bereft of bad luck/shoddy quality control, the Superman Ultimate Collector's Edition would have made it to the top of nearly everyone's "best of 2006" DVD list. It contains every important film-based facet of The Super One, from great to god-awful, first to last, theatrical cuts to a director's unfulfilled dreams. So what went wrong? Well, a couple of the discs suffered from errors of ommission, namely the disc for Superman III that contained none of the advertised special features and the Superman: The Movie disc that was missing the original Dolby 2.0 soundtrack. These mistakes were enough of a downer (really a minor one), but then some stores began pulling the sets off of their shelves so fewer people would complain. Right in the middle of the Christmas buying season, the sets became hard to get. Thousands of elbows began to fly as geeks everywhere hesitated when they should have been buying these sets in droves. To their credit, Warner Bros. freely admitted their mistake and offered replacement discs to those who requested them. They also released a few sets with corrected discs, but it's hard to tell where those sets went and how to identify the corrected boxes from the flawed ones. Now the set is available again at some sites (and I don't mean Ebay - the home of ripoff rarities), but without verification, you don't know if you are spending money on an inferior product. A couple of sites that ran out of the sets now list a release date of February 2007, but according to some rumors the new variant may not come packaged in the snazzy tin box. So, the year's most impressive box set stands alone in a steaming pile of what could have been.
Here's hoping 2007 presents us with many more great movies on DVD!
Source: USA TodayDiscuss this and other Fakery on our message boards! Continue reading Bill's Top 10 (+ 30) DVDs Of 2006
DVD Review: Dane Cook - Vicious Circle
By Bobbie Oliver
There is a lot right with modern standup comedy, but Dane Cook represents none of it. You know how if you love onions, you can’t imagine anyone not liking them? Or if you hate onions, you can’t imagine anyone not hating them? Well, I hate onions, but I would rather eat an onion for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day for the rest of my life than ever watch another Dane Cook DVD. But, 1,651,838 MySpacers disagree. And so do the 18,000 rabid fans that filled Boston’s TD Banknorth Garden to watch 132 minutes (yes, that’s two hours and twelve minutes) of Dane Cook’s Vicious Circle, the Dane-gerous Edition (I swear I didn’t make that up). Countless others, ok somebody counted but I refuse to look it up, have made the self-proclaimed “Superstar Comedian” Dane Cook’s comedy album, Retaliation, a top seller for 71 weeks.
Celine Dion will always sell more albums than They Might Be Giants. Dane Cook will always sell more albums than Patton Oswalt. Let’s face it, hack sells. But, then, how would the cool kids distinguish themselves from the posers if every talented artist made millions? Who said 1,651,838 MySpacers can be wrong? I do.
To be fair, I’m not the best audience for Vicious Circle. As a standup comic for the last 20 years, I’ve seen A LOT of comedy. I’ve heard a lot of jokes. I’m probably a lot like the judges on American Idol who want to slit the throat of the next ten year old girl who sings “Tomorrow” from Annie or kick the shit out the fifteen thousandth person they heard perform “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” My favorite comedy is smart comedy. I like jokes you have to get. Hell, I’m a sucker for a joke period. Please, Dane, just one joke. Dane Cook wouldn’t know a decent set up/punch if it literally punched him in the face, which is exactly what I plan to do if I ever see him out in the clubs in LA. He owes me for 132 minutes of my life that I will never get back.
There are four types of comedians. There is the poor guy that no one thinks is funny. There’s the guy that comics love, but audiences don’t get. There’s the guy that audiences love, but other comics hate. And there’s the comic we all strive to be, that audiences love and other comics respect. Dane Cook is the third guy. Audiences love him, especially jocks and frat boys and the kinds of girls that can’t wait to pull up their tops for a “Girls Gone Wild” video. I am none of those.
But, there were 18,000 of them loving every minute of watching Dane perform in the round on Vicious Circle. I actually think doing standup comedy in the round is a great idea, but this was more of a stunt than the craft that is standup. During his set, three groups of people approach the stage. The drunken jock was handled pretty well, I think. Dane acknowledged him, picked on him a little, and then sent him away. The two sets of girls that approached the stage were told to “show us your boobs,” which they did, and “make out with each other” which they did. Can you imagine this happening in any other standup act? Ok, stop imagining two girls making out and pay attention.
Comics are usually a well-balanced combination of low self-esteem and cocky shit head. Dane Cook does not have a low self-esteem. Comics are usually people whose mother didn’t love them (us). Dane Cook’s mother probably told him everyday that he was the funniest, smartest, most talented kid on Earth. So did William Hung’s mom. It seems obvious to me while watching him perform that Dane Cook had a happy childhood, and frankly, I resent him for it.
Vicious Circle begins with Dane Cook coming out like a rock star with his spiky hair and tight jeans. Hell, even the picture of him on the cover is a cocky shot with him arrogantly pointing at the camera with an overconfident, smart aleck look on his face. I would like to believe that audiences look for something different in their comedians than they do their movie stars, rock stars, and supermodels. In those people, we want cool perfection. But, in our comics, we want to see ourselves. We want vulnerability. We want to know that we are not the only one who feels this way or does stupid shit. But, you’ll get none of that from Vicious Circle. No humility, no vulnerability.
The most important skill you can have as a comic is the ability to self-edit. Dane Cook has never edited one thing he’s written (or the bits he has stolen from the likes of the very funny Louis CK). Vicious Circle is 132 minutes of one long pointless rant, going on tangent after tangent and never delivering the punch. It’s a big shaggy dog joke that needs to be trimmed. Granted, Dane Cook is a good performer, I’ll give him that. But, a wordsmith he is not. He doesn’t craft his jokes; he doesn’t choose every word carefully and lay them out in a poetic melody like Shakespeare writing in iambic pentameter.
He is more Three Stooges than Richard Pryor, which is fine unless you are selling your comedy as standup. All throughout this DVD, he hops around the stage like a little animated bunny, punctuating every thought with a wacky face or funny sound effect. It’s like standup comedy for deaf people without the closed-captioning. It’s comedy for people with no sense of humor.
He’s basically saying, “look at me, look at me…just don’t really look at me.” I didn’t feel like I knew anything more about Dane Cook after watching this performance than I did beforehand. He does not let himself be known. Doing pure standup comedy is like jumping out of an airplane naked and skinless. But, Dane jumps fully-clothed with 10 parachutes from the 2nd floor of a very short building. Zero risk.
I watched this DVD with my 22 year old nephew who would be the ideal audience for it (you know, if his IQ were lower); someone who laughed whenever Dane said “blowjob” or made jokes about Halle Berry taking a shit. But, even he got up and left me after an hour, laughing at me for being obligated to sit it out to write this review. I have sat through many movies that were three hours long and never once looked at my watch. After five minutes of Vicious Circle, I was counting down the time like a prisoner waiting for freedom, swearing to never commit this offense again.
Then there’s the 10- minute encore of some horrible song he played on a guit