The Fake Life - Love movies? We do too!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Cranky Ruins

As any regular reader knows, we here at TFL are totally queer for Crank. We can only hope you are too since this article has some Crank spoilage. So for maximum reading enjoyment, the management recommends watching Crank at least once before proceeding.

Now then, Variety reports that the film's co-directors, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, have written the script for Pathology, filming this Spring. It's described as "... a drama about medical students who compete to see which can commit the perfect murder." Sounds like Hitchcock's Rope by way of CSI. Throw David Caruso and some Haitian Plant Shit into the mix and my ass is in the seat opening night. The Variety article ends with a single sentence containing an offhand simplicity that belies its profound awesomeness: "Neveldine and Taylor brought the project to Lakeshore, where they made the Jason Statham starrer 'Crank,' AND ARE IN THE EARLY STAGES OF A SEQUEL TO THAT PIC." This is vindicating news for the half of our message board posters who insist that Chev survived the fall from the helicopter. Or it's spectacular news for the rest of us who insist he died, because that can mean only one other thing - ZOMBIE CRANK! Either way, we all win.

In not so great news, there's an adaptation of Scott Smith's supremely scary novel, The Ruins, in the works. Production is tentatively slated for early May according to this Production Weekly article. At the risk of sounding like a reactionary nerdface, I just don't see how they can translate this story for the big screen. For one thing, the action takes place in one isolated location. And, more importantly, the majority of conflict comes from knowing the inner workings of the characters as they deal with a horrific threat. Sure, it's been done before. George Romero uses character dynamics to amp the suspense in his claustrophobic Dead films. But the external threat of zombies is far more viscerally satisfying than Smith's borderline abstract botanical monster. I have a feeling that the best we can hope for is something akin to Stephen King's Misery. That adaptation faced similar hurdles and managed to deliver an effective, but ultimately hollow, thriller. Anybody who hasn't read King's book would never know it, but there is an entire level of subtext jettisoned from Rob Reiner's adaptation. I doubt Ruins director Carter Smith will be able to put the protagonists' inner musings on celluloid either. But hey, I could be wrong!*

*No, I'm not.