The Fake Life - Love movies? We do too!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Weekend News Round-Up

All the news that's fit to print! Which, unfortunately, isn't really a lot...

I may be one of the four people to be actually looking forward to the next Indiana Jones, but it seems it might have gained some credibility, in the form of very hot Elf-queen Cate Blanchett. Not content with being very beautiful, Blanchett is also one of the best actresses of this generation with a host of great movies under her belt. Oh, and Bandits. There's no word on who she'll play as of yet, but we'll bring you the info as soon as a bunch of other sites have posted it. Or not.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter

The remake train is once again making another stop, but this time with a surprising choice. The Hills Have Eyes reduxer Alexandre Aja is ready to start work on the second remake of Joe Dante's Corman cheapie Piranha, which he'll write and direct. Piranha is famous for being the only legitimate Jaws rip-off, mainly because it's a huge parody of the film, and itself, and isn't afraid to admit that it's a micro-budget plagerizing machine. Check this out:

"Aja's cutting edge vision of this film is an entirely new take on the "Piranha" legacy and will certainly satisfy fans of the genre. Piranha takes place at Lake Havasu, Arizona, a small, scenic town whose population explodes during Spring break for fun in the sun and unpredictable desert freedom. This year there's more to worry about than hangovers and complaints from the locals. Havasu sits in a crater and when earth tremors tear open a crack in the lake floor, all hell breaks loose as ravenous razor-toothed Piranhas surface and people start to disappear…"

I'm assuming that's from the press release, but whether it is or not, who cares. It's fantastic. I cannot WAIT for this movie. But wait, there's more:

"Alexandre Aja stated, "My goal is not to remake 'Piranha' but to create a completely new adventure paying homage to all the 'creatures' films that made me fall in love with the genre. It is the ultimate popcorn movie that pits beer soaked sunburned spring breakers against killer, bloodthirsty animals. I am very proud to follow the path of Joe Dante and James Cameron in the 'Piranha' franchise and look forward to working with Greg Levasseur, to write, produce and direct such a fun and gory thrill ride.""

You have to wonder if he ever actually saw The Spawning.

"I went after the remake rights to 'Piranha' because I knew it was a tremendous title that hadn't achieved its full potential when originally made," notes IPW's Marc Toberoff. "Death by piranha is one of the most viscerally frightening fates in all of nature. There's a huge franchise to be re-launched here, and Alexandre Aja and Dimension are the perfect partners for it."

I have no idea what IPW is, or who Marc Toberoff is, and it's too early in the morning to research that, but his spewtalk is impressive. As an aside, it's never ever been proven that a human being has been killed by a piranha. They may take off your toe, but many of them are herbivores, and the likelihood of a school of them knawing a bunch of people to death is absolute zero, probably why Joe Dante made his mutated military issue piranhas. Bred to kill. Eating machines. Conditioned to obey their ultimate master, Kevin McCarthy, and the ice-cold Brit female scientist he loved. Oh dear.

Source: Dimension Films, Coming Soon

Kirsten Dunst is awesome. Speaking at ShoWest, the big exhibitor convention thing, she received the "ShoWest Female Star of the Year," and generally chatted about whether or not Spider-Man 4 will happen (Tobey Maguire has already said he won't be in it, and Raimi has expressed his doubts, despite David Koepp apparently submitting a script):

"I told Sam that we should do a 'Spider-Man 4' that's completely low budget--'Evil Dead' style--where Mary Jane has eight children with very little special effects and then we'll get a whole new audience, we'd make a lot of money because it wouldn't cost as much and everyone would go see it."

Go, woman, go!

On being asked about making Part IV without Raimi: "Do they want to give Sam Raimi a heart attack? That's evil. Sorry, that's not happening any time soon. I would just say no for Sam's sake so that he can have a break. We would all do it together because Sam, Tobey and I are a team now, but there's no way it's going to happen very soon. I just can't imagine that. We don't have the story to tell right now."

Oh really ?

Just kidding about that last one folks. Dunst then talked about the relationships in the film, and then got angry because she heard this would all be on the internet. Oh well.

I have no real issue with Dunst as a person, and as an actress, she can be very good, I just think she doesn't work as Mary Jane and is usually at the core of the not-so-good-or-bad parts of them. That and she's really not attractive. Still, check that poster!

Source: Coming Soon